"Behold I make all things new!"

When I saw Dr. Berkowitz last Friday, he explained that they have done several dozen of these IP port removals and have not had any complications with the removal. Typically, they sedate the patient and use a local anesthetic. He did say that there is a remote possibility that the port might get caught or stuck and then they have to open the abdomen to remove it. This has not happened yet but its possibility causes me to again have to rely on the Lord for every detail. Please pray for this surgery that nothing will get stuck and the port will be removed easily.

One of my favorite hymn lyrics is a familiar hymn for this time of year - which I think, due to its over-use and familiarity, might cause us to miss the wonderful truth that is contained in the words. The Lord has promised that He makes all things new - even old, familiar hymns.

1 Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the new-born King;
Peace on earth, and mercy mild;
God and sinners reconciled."
Joyful, all ye nations, rise,
Join the triumph of the skies;
With angelic hosts proclaim,
"Christ is born in Bethlehem."

2 Christ, by highest heav'n adored,
Christ, the everlasting Lord:
Late in time behold Him come,
Offspring of a virgin's womb.
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see,
Hail th' incarnate Deity!
Pleased as man with man to dwell,
Jesus our Immanuel.

3 Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Sun of righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings,
Ris'n with healing in His wings:
Mild He lays His glory by,
Born that man no more may die;
Born to raise the sons of earth;
Born to give them second birth.

4 Come, Desire of nations, come!
Fix in us Thy humble home:
Rise, the woman's conqu'ring seed,
Bruise in us the serpent's head;
Adam's likeness now efface,
Stamp Thine image in its place:
Final Adam from above,
Reinstate us in Thy love.


The lines that jump out to me are from verse 1: God and sinners reconciled; from verse 2: Pleased as man with man to dwell, Jesus our Immanuel; from verse 3: Born that man no more may die; from verse 4: Adam's likeness now efface, Stamp Thine image in its place.

Sometimes when I am spending time with the Lord, I use the hymns to pray and also to praise and thank the Lord for what He has accomplished. Just praying those few lines above would be a wonderful way to enjoy the Lord - "Thank you Lord that through Your coming, through Your death and resurrection God and sinners are reconciled. Thank you Lord that you were pleased to become a man to dwell among men - Praise You Lord that You are Immanuel - God with us! You were born - You entered humanity and began the process of destroying sin, death, and the devil! Praise You that today You are removing every trace of old Adam and doing the work of conforming us to the image of Christ. Do that work more in us today - stamp Your image in every part of our being."

Hopefully when you hear this hymn it will be new to you - and you will enjoy the wonder of the "Incarnate Diety".

Thank you for standing with me through this time.
Much love,
Joanne

White as snow

Yesterday afternoon and evening we had a snow storm and got about 12 inches of fluffy white snow - it is really beautiful this morning to see everything covered in white. During the night however I was plagued by an incessant reminder of an old sin that I had confessed - the thought that kept me awake a good part of the night was that what I had done was not enough - I had not made it right completely and that this would cost me the kingdom. When I woke up this morning and looked at the snow, I was reminded of that verse in Isaiah 1:18: Come now and let us reason together, Says Jehovah. Though your sins are like scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are as red as crimson, They will be like wool.
Here's another verse: Psalms 103:12: As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
And of course the verse in 1 John 1:9: If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I was also reminded of the accuser of the brethren who accuses us before God day and night (Rev. 12:10) and how to overcome him: Revelation 12:11 And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they loved not their soul-life even unto death. The enemy of God would like to remind of our sins and keep us in a constant anxiety about them, thus robbing us of enjoying all that Christ has accomplished on the cross.

I was also reminded that I am a member of the body of Christ and as a member I am clothed with the armor of God, by which I can stand against the stratagems of the devil(Eph 6). One part of the armor is the helmet of salvation. Here is a footnote about the effectiveness of this helmet:

17-1 Receiving the helmet of salvation is for covering our mind, our mentality, against the negative thoughts shot in by the evil one. Such a helmet, such a covering, is God's salvation. Satan injects threats, worries, anxieties, and other weakening thoughts into our mind. God's salvation is the covering that we take up against all these. Such a salvation is the saving Christ whom we experience in our daily life.

With this helmet and with the sword of the Spirit-the Word of God, we are able to overcome, to withstand in the evil day! Today, I choose to be empowered in the Lord and in the might of His strength (Eph. 6:10). This strength is really quite powerful - it is the the power that raised Christ from the dead and seated Him in the heavens, far above all the evil spirits in the air.

I am reminded of this wonderful hymn:
1 Praise Him! praise Him! Christ is Victor!
He has won the victory!
Sin is judged, old Adam finished,
Full redemption now we see!
Vanquished all the evil powers
Thru the Cross triumphantly!

2 Praise Him! Christ is resurrected!
God hath raised Him from the dead!
All the pow’r of death is swallowed,
Man from death to life is led!
Broken through are hell and darkness
And His pow’r exhibited!

3 Praise Him! Christ hath now ascended!
God hath raised Him to the throne!
Far above all rule and power,
He the highest Name doth own!
All authority receiving
Till His foe is overthrown!

4 Hallelujah, Christ the Victor
Triumphed on Mt. Calvary!
Hallelujah, resurrected,
He displays His victory!
Hallelujah, now ascended,
He shall reign eternally!

Here's a link to the tune if you want to sing along: http://www.hymnal.net/Hymns/Hymnal/midi/e0009_i.mid

Today I have an appointment with Dr. Berkowitz and a pre-op visit at Brigham and Women's Hospital. Please pray for the Lord to cover all aspect of the surgery which is December 20th at 7:30 am.

Take time to enjoy Christ our Victor today!
Joanne

Giving and receiving

I actually used the ellipical trainer yesterday for 11 minutes! A new world record for out of shape me! Today, however, I was not able to do much - but I did a little cooking, which was fun. I am still having intestinal issues - hopefully this will lessen as I get stronger. My outing on Friday was really wonderful. It was great to visit with dear friends who manifest the love of God to me. Last night I got a call from someone who used to live in Dedham, who was like a part of our family when my children were younger - her daughter was our babysitter and she spent a lot of time with us. She didn't know what I had been through but was so full of encouragement from the Lord for me. It was a wonderful call. I woke up today thinking about how much I have received during this time of trial. Even though it has been a time of loss, I have been the rich recipient of the superabundance of the Lord's rich supply, ministered to me by so many of you - whether through your prayer, fellowship, meals, emails, phone calls, visits, cards....you have all given so much - be assured of this promise in Luke 6:38:

38 Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, they will give into your bosom. For with what measure you measure, it shall be measured to you in return.

When I read this verse, I was reminded of this hymn - written by a sister, serving the Lord in China:

1 There is always something over,
When we taste our gracious Lord;
Ev'ry cup He fills o'erfloweth,
Rich supply He doth afford.
Nothing narrow, nothing stinted,
Ever issued from His store;
To His own He gives full measure,
Running over, evermore.
To His own He gives full measure,
Running over, evermore.

2 There is always something over,
When we, from the Father's hand,
Take our portion with thanksgiving,
Praising for the things He planned.
Satisfaction, full and deepening,
All our need He doth supply,
When the heart has tasted Jesus
Its desires to satisfy.
When the heart has tasted Jesus
Its desires to satisfy.

3 There is always something over,
When we share in all His love;
Unplumbed depths still lie beneath us,
Unscaled heights rise far above.
Human lips can never utter
All His wondrous tenderness.
We can only praise and wonder
And His Name forever bless.
We can only praise and wonder
And His Name forever bless.

We really experience the riches of the Lord when we live in the reality of the Body of Christ - which I have surely experienced during these last 8 months. When we share the riches of Christ with others, we get back more riches! That exchange of riches does something eternal between us. It is too marvelous - and inexhaustible. We will never reach the end of these riches and will be enjoying them for eternity!

Well, I best be going to bed - I still somehow wake up very early.
Much love to you all,
Joanne

Finally heard from Brigham and Women's Hospital

I just have a moment as I am actually going out this afternoon to a friend's home from Westgate Christian Academy where I worked for many years. I am kind of excited to be going out - it does get lonely at home by myself at times. To think I used to yearn for alone time....the Lord has a kind of sense of humor - kind of like the quail that the children of Israel longed for and complained about - they got tons and they became loathesome to them - seems that only Christ can satisfy.

Here's a great hymn about how only Christ can satisfy:

O Christ, in Thee my soul hath found,
And found in Thee alone,
The peace, the joy I sought so long,
The bliss till now unknown.

Refrain:
Now none but Christ can satisfy,
None other name for me;
There's love, and life, and lasting joy,
Lord Jesus, found in Thee.

I sighed for rest and happiness,
I yearned for them, not Thee;
But while I passed my Saviour by,
His love laid hold on me.

I tried the broken cisterns, Lord,
But ah! the waters failed!
E'en as I stooped to drink they'd fled,
And mocked me as I wailed.

The pleasures lost I sadly mourned,
But never wept for Thee,
Till grace the sightless eyes received,
Thy loveliness to see.

My favorite line is - while I passed my Saviour by, His love laid hold on me! Hallelujah!

Oh yes, about the surgery....
The surgery to remove the IP port is scheduled for December 20 at 7:30 am. The procedure should take 30 minutes with 2 hours in recovery. Most patients really have little difficulty with this surgery - which is great for me to hear since the word surgery surely brings up memories I'd like to forget...

I must go now - I appreciate your continued prayers as the Lord leads each one of you. May He continue to satisfy you all today.
Joanne

Finding rest

These days since the chemotherapy has ended, I have been hoping for a quick resurgence of energy - but have not really experienced the immediacy I had hoped for. I have found that I need to depend helplessly on the Lord each day and not on that energy surge which seems so fleeting at times. I discovered a hymn by Margaret E. Barber - the verses were a real comfort to me:

Deep down into the depths of this Thy Name,
My God, I sink and dwell in calm delight;
Thou art enough however long the day,
Thou art enough however dark the night.

Thou art my God - the All-Sufficient One,
Thou canst create for me whate'er I lack;
Thy mighty hand has strewn the lonely track
With miracles of love and tender care.

For me, Thy trusting one, My God I dare
Once more to fling myself upon Thy breast,
And there adore Thy ways in faith's deep rest,
And there adore Thy ways in faith's quiet rest.

Isn't this a marvelous hymn? Faith offers a deep, quiet rest. I am so thankful for that. Also there is a depth in the Lord's name that we can sink and dwell in! These days I have been dwelling in my considerations about myself - there is no calm delight there - only anxiety. How wonderful to turn to the Author and Perfecter of our faith to be strengthened, nourished and encouraged. Let us all just fling ourselves upon His tender, loving breast!

Since I have been moving around more (up and down the stairs etc.) I have been having a lot of joint pain - I can't really take anything for the pain since I am also taking a blood thinner - so, please pray for more grace! Also please pray for the Lord's leading about which vitamins and nutritional path I should take - I have been receiving a lot of advice from people as well as reading books and want to follow the Lord's leading in this matter.

Yesterday I thought I would tackle the unpaired socks in my room - however, soon I was overwhelmed with probably over one hundred single socks - I spread them out all over my bed and then just had to lie down! I can't believe I had so many - it was amazing. I just separated them into darks and whites and put them in bags...to deal with another day.

I still haven't heard from the Nurse about the surgery - I will call her again today.

Thank you all for your sustaining prayers - may we all dive into Christ, our All-Sufficient One!

Much Love,
Joanne

Strength for the day

Day by day I feel like I have more strength for part of the day - although I am dealing with achy joints and intestinal difficulties - perhaps this will just be the way things are since I had that colon surgery which bypasses a good part of my large intestine. The achy joints may be a side effect of the chemo - I am going to start taking salmon oil and glucosamine to help with that. I still need to rest in the afternoon but I've been trying to do some cooking - which has been fun.

Today I have to go to Dana Farber to get the IV ports flushed - they have to access both ports (I have a double) with those one inch needles and flush them with saline and heparin (I think). I will also have blood tests. The nurses there are experts at this and there isn't usually too much pain involved. I will have to do this monthly while the IV ports are still in. I am not sure about when that port will be removed since I have terrible veins and the port makes blood tests much easier. I believe the IP port removal will be scheduled after December 12th but I haven't heard back from the nurse yet with the official date. It is day surgery at Brigham and Women's Hospital. Hopefully this will be a quick recovery.

It is hard for me these days to discern which aches and pains to pay attention to and which ones I should just ignore - I used to ignore everything and I think that practice got me where I am today. As human beings we are so inept to find our way in these kind of situations - but I was reminded of those verses in the gospel of John 14:6 - Jesus said to him, I am the way and the reality and the life; no one comes to the Father except through Me.

Here is a footnote about the way: The way for man to enter into God is the Lord Himself. Since the way is a living person, the place to which the Lord brings man must also be a person, God the Father Himself. The Lord Himself is the living way by which man is brought into God the Father, the living place. The way needs the reality, and the reality needs the life. The Lord Himself is the life to us. This life brings us the reality, and the reality becomes the way by which we enter into the enjoyment of God the Father.

So I realize that while I am rather inept at knowing what to do at times, the way is the Lord Himself. He is a living person who indwells my spirit and He knows the way - so daily as I touch Him, He will be the way for me. It is comforting to know that we are not alone muddling through our life, trying our best to make the right decisions - we are joined to the Lord in our spirit - we do not have to depend on ourselves but can lean on Him. Hallelujah!

Annie Johnson Flint wrote a hymn about strength for the day - I think I have posted here before - the chorus says
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labor, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing sympathy, undying love.

I found a poem she wrote that must have been the inspiration for this hymn. I hope you are encouraged by it:
ONE DAY AT A TIME
By Annie Johnson Flint

One day at a time, with its failures and fears,
With its hurts and mistakes, with its weakness and tears,
With its portion of pain and its burden of care;
One day at a time we must meet and must bear.

One day at a time to be patient and strong;
To be calm under trial and sweet under wrong;
Then its toiling shall pass and its sorrow shall cease;
It shall darken and die, and the night shall bring peace.

One day at a time – but the day is so long,
And the heart is not brave, and the soul is not strong,
O Thou pitiful Christ, be Thou near all the way;
Give courage and patience and strength for the day.

Swift cometh His answer, so clear and so sweet;
“Yea, I will be with thee, thy troubles to meet;
I will not forget thee, nor fail thee, nor grieve;
I will not forsake thee; I never will leave.”

Not yesterday’s load we are called on to bear,
Nor the morrow’s uncertain and shadowy care;
Why should we look forward or back with dismay?
Our needs, as our mercies, are but for the day.

One day at a time, and the day is His day;
He hath numbered its hours, though they haste or delay.
His grace is sufficient; we walk not alone;
As the day, so the strength that He giveth His own.


Praise Him for today's portion of grace, and for the strength that He gives His own!
Much love to all of you,
Joanne

Recovering from "too much chopping"

Hi everyone,
It has taken a few days to recover from the seemingly endless chopping, baking, cooking, dishwashing and recipe reading that went on for the Thanksgiving dinner we enjoyed this week. My mom and my daughter Anna worked so hard. My brother Mike and his wife, Ai-Lien also came on Thanksgiving and worked very hard - we couldn't have done it without them. I petered out after about 15 minutes into the meal and had to lie down (for 4 hours - it turned out). I missed saying good bye to everyone but really enjoyed every moment of the day. What a wonderful opportunity to gather together and thank the Lord for all He is and has accomplished for us! Ephesians 5:20 says: "Giving thanks at all times for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to our God and Father," and 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says "In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
In addition, there is a church conference in Boston, so each afternoon I have had visits and telephone calls from people I haven't seen in a long time - I am not able to attend the conference but am so thankful for these visits. What a rich inheritance we have in each other! I wouldn't be here today without all of you!

Since this was a holiday weekend, I don't have any information regarding the upcoming surgery - I hope to know more when I call on Monday.

May the Lord richly bless each of you with abundant grace,and with a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the full knowledge of Him!

Joanne

Slow recovery

Sorry for the delay in writing - it has been a long, slow process recovering from this last chemo treatment. I also went off all pain meds and am having withdrawal symptoms (headache, fatigue) and still have the intestinal issues which also make me weak. I went to a store with Anna and lasted about 10 minutes before I had to return to the car. It seems like I have no reserve supply of energy so when I use up what I have, I just about collapse. I don't do well with headaches and have a whopper of one today. I also haven't been sleeping well - but when I wake up I take the time to pray! I'm planning a Thanksgiving dinner and hope to have the energy to be there. Anna is doing most of the cooking - which is a real blessing. My mom is coming to stay for the week and my brother Michael and his family will also be here as well as Stephen and Andrew and other people that Anna has invited. It will be a full house - but I thoroughly enjoy this holiday - its roots are so wonderful - giving thanks for all that the Lord has done for us. We have so much to be thankful for. Each day when I open my eyes (even if it is 4:00 am) I thank the Lord for another day and consecrate it to Him - that throughout the day I would be one who ministers Christ to people and not just my problems or myself...

I read these verses yesterday and I was so encouraged:

2 Peter 1:3-4,
3 Seeing that His divine power has granted to us all things which relate to life and godliness, through the full knowledge of Him who has called us by His own glory and virtue,

4 Through which He has granted to us precious and exceedingly great promises that through these you might become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption which is in the world by lust.

I was so encouraged that we have been granted all things which relate to life and godliness and we have been given precious promises so that we can become partakers of the divine nature! How marvelous is this! So each day we can stand of the promises of God when we pray Lord keep me partaking of You today. Thank you for all things which relate to Life!

As the Lord leads, please continue to pray that the side effects of the chemo will subside and I will be stronger - also please pray for the upcoming surgery when they will remove the IP port. It is not scheduled yet but should be sometime in December.

Thank you all for all the different manifestations of love - by your calls, emails, meals, serving our family - it has been and continues to be such a supply to all of us and reminds me daily that the Lord, whose name is El Roi, is the God who sees and is supplying a superabundant supply of grace. You all are the channels of His grace - and I am so thankful for you all!

Much love,
Joanne

Trying to stay hydrated

Well, it's been awhile since I last wrote - I have had a tough week - last Saturday I had to go back to Dana Farber to get hydrated and get some potassium and magnesium. It seems that the chemo and the intestinal issues cause me to lose those important electrolytes. This past week the teachers at the school where my daughter works have been bringing meals - this has encouraged me to eat - my tongue has sores on it and food just doesn't taste that great - but I have been trying out all the delicious meals that the teachers have been preparing - it has been wonderful. I am drinking water and also V8 juice which has a lot of potassium in it.

Staying hydrated is so important - even spiritually. I read these verses today: Job 14:7-9
7 For there is hope for a tree: If it is cut down, it will sprout again, And its tender shoot will not cease.
8 Though its root grows old in the earth, And its trunk dies in the dirt,
9 At the scent of water it will bud and will produce branches like a new plant.

These verses are so encouraging! At the scent of water the tree will produce branches - where there is life, there is hope! How much we need to stay in the river of water of life day by day, moment by moment. How often just hearing a verse or reading a line of a hymn produces a life-bud in me. Lately I have been worried about whether I have been gaining the Lord through this ordeal. But I was encouraged by these verses today to just stay watered - and spend my days sniffing out water so that the Lord's life in me can grow.

The next step is that I will need to have a small surgery to have the IP port removed - this will be sometime in December. Then I will have to have CT scans and blood tests to see what is happening with the cancer. Please pray that I can stay hydrated and that the side effects subside.

Much love to all of you - and many thanks for your encouraging words, your prayer and your love.
Joanne

chemo complete

Hi Everyone,
Sorry I haven't written much - this has been a scary week - I had trouble stabilizing those electrolytes and kept feeling faint - I am still a bit wobbly. The chemo was okay - just oh so bloating. What a treat to find out that teachers at Boston Trinity have offered to bring meals for my family for the next week! Bringing meals is such a supply to my family - especially since my husband doesn't really cook and hasn't acquired the skill of menu planning among his million other skills. I can see how he can relax at least about the meals, which is so wonderful.

The chemo needle was hard to insert this time which was painful but endurable. Thank You Lord for Your grace - Here is a testimony Watchman Nee wrote about healing:

"Some illnesses are healed immediately; others are not. Once when sick, I asked the Lord to heal me. The Lord said, “The healing will not take place quickly, but My grace is sufficient for you.” Then the Lord showed me something. A boat sailing in the middle of a stream was facing a big rock and could not get through. The Lord asked me, “Shall I remove the rock so you can get through, or shall I raise the water level so that you can go over it?” At that moment I was clear concerning the Lord’s will, and I said, “Lord, I do not ask to have the problem removed; I ask for an increase of Your grace.”"

This testimony has always touched me - I want the boulder removed and sometimes it is. But when it is not, I need to be reminded that the Lord wants to increase grace to me. What a wonderful gift - this increased grace.

So, the next step is to see the surgeon about having the IP port removed, have a CT scan to see how effective the chemo has been - this will all be done after THanksgiving. Please pray that I am not to saddled by side effects and that I am not dehydrated from the intestinal difficulties.

Another 2 verses that really supplied me this week are 1 Peter 1:7-8:
1 Peter 1 : 7 ---- 1 Peter 1 : 8

7 So that the proving of your faith, much more precious than of gold which perishes though it is proved by fire, may be found unto praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

8 Whom having not seen, you love; into whom though not seeing Him at present, yet believing, you exult with joy that is unspeakable and full of glory,

Sometimes in the fire-y trial it is hard to see the Lord - but I do love this One whom I have not seen - and I know whom I have believed. He is able. Praise Him!

Love you all,
Joanne