Hi Everyone,
My visit with Dr. Berkowitz was enlightening, encouraging and downright scary too! He was exceedingly encouraged about the CA125 marker level of 9; and said that the cancer in the abdomen had decreased significantly. There is still a tumor on the bowel and nodules in the upper abdomen. He decided that I should have the next round of chemo, scheduled for July 6th. He also scheduled surgery for July 26, which will remove all gross tumor, possibly involve a hysterectomy and also may involve bowel surgery which could (very slight chance) result in a colostomy. I will need to drink that awful stuff to empty my bowel the night before - with all your prayer I will keep it down and it will work.
Please pray for this next round of chemo that it significantly shrinks that tumor on the bowel and all cancerous cells. Also pray as the Lord leads you, regarding the side effects of the chemo - the nausea and the horrible leg pain that kept me awake for nights and days. Also pray for my physical strength and for all the details surrounding the surgery.
God is faithful. He is the Great Shepherd of the sheep, and He is my shepherd, who is with me through the valley of the shadow of death. I read the following explanation recently: "This means that we experience His presence. For Him to be with us is for us to enjoy His presence. His presence is a comfort, a rescue, and a sustaining power to us when we are walking in the valley of the shadow of death."
Thank you Lord for Your sweet presence and moment by moment supply. Thank you dear friends for your support, your prayers and your love.
Joanne
Friday, June 29, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
A hymn with deeper meaning
I had my CT scan yesterday - I find out the results on Friday and also I will find out whether I have surgery before the next round of chemo or after. The next round of chemo is scheduled for July 6th. Anna went with me to Dana Farber - it was great to spend the afternoon with her.
The leg pain has subsided - hallelujah! I am still somewhat fatigued each day but try to walk around the block - although I won't be trying it in 90+ degree weather. I'll wait until it's a bit cooler.
Today I thought about a hymn I had sung years ago when I was much younger - while it was meaningful then, today it has much more depth of meaning. Here are the words:
I take Thy promise, Lord, in all its length,
And breadth and fullness as my daily strength.
Into life's future fearless I may gaze
For Savior, Thou art with me all the days.
Days may be coming fraught with loss and change,
New scenes surround my life and fancies strange;
I thank Thee that no day can ever break,
Savior, when Thou wilt leave me or forsake.
There may be days of darkness and distress,
When sin has power to tempt, and care to press,
Yet in the darkest day I will not fear,
For 'mid the shadows, Thou wilt will be near.
Days there may be of joy and deep delight,
When earth seems fairest, and her skies most bright,
Then draw me closer to Thee, lest I rest
Elsewhere, my Savior, than upon Thy breast.
And all the other days that make my life,
Marked by no special joy or grief or strife,
Days filled with quiet duties, trivial care,
Burdens too small for other hearts to share;
Spend Thou these days with me, all shall be Thine,
So shall the darkest hour with glory shine.
Then when these earthly years have passed away,
Let me be with Thee in the perfect day.
For me, today the taking of the promise is the exercise of faith. It is the stretching forward toward the goal that Paul talked about in Philippians. Oh, Lord, strengthen me to take Your promises day by day and not to believe the strangeness of my life as it appears now. YOu are the same, You do not change. Praise You, Lord!
As the Lord leads, please pray for wisdom for Dr. Berkowitz as he decides about the surgery and for me that the bountiful supply of the Spirit will carry me through the days ahead - I am not able but He is able.
Much love,
Joanne
The leg pain has subsided - hallelujah! I am still somewhat fatigued each day but try to walk around the block - although I won't be trying it in 90+ degree weather. I'll wait until it's a bit cooler.
Today I thought about a hymn I had sung years ago when I was much younger - while it was meaningful then, today it has much more depth of meaning. Here are the words:
I take Thy promise, Lord, in all its length,
And breadth and fullness as my daily strength.
Into life's future fearless I may gaze
For Savior, Thou art with me all the days.
Days may be coming fraught with loss and change,
New scenes surround my life and fancies strange;
I thank Thee that no day can ever break,
Savior, when Thou wilt leave me or forsake.
There may be days of darkness and distress,
When sin has power to tempt, and care to press,
Yet in the darkest day I will not fear,
For 'mid the shadows, Thou wilt will be near.
Days there may be of joy and deep delight,
When earth seems fairest, and her skies most bright,
Then draw me closer to Thee, lest I rest
Elsewhere, my Savior, than upon Thy breast.
And all the other days that make my life,
Marked by no special joy or grief or strife,
Days filled with quiet duties, trivial care,
Burdens too small for other hearts to share;
Spend Thou these days with me, all shall be Thine,
So shall the darkest hour with glory shine.
Then when these earthly years have passed away,
Let me be with Thee in the perfect day.
For me, today the taking of the promise is the exercise of faith. It is the stretching forward toward the goal that Paul talked about in Philippians. Oh, Lord, strengthen me to take Your promises day by day and not to believe the strangeness of my life as it appears now. YOu are the same, You do not change. Praise You, Lord!
As the Lord leads, please pray for wisdom for Dr. Berkowitz as he decides about the surgery and for me that the bountiful supply of the Spirit will carry me through the days ahead - I am not able but He is able.
Much love,
Joanne
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
chemo and beyond
Hi Everyone,
Sorry for the delay in updating the blog - I haven't been feeling up to writing at the computer. But today I have more energy so I thought I'd give you all an update. The chemo went well - no allergic reactions; only restless leg reaction to 50 mg of benadryl - which isn't too bad - I just had to walk around a bit to alleviate the feeling. I went in at 9:00 am and left at 6:30. A long day - but it was okay. I had meetings with the social worker and the nutritionist which helped pass the time. I was also able to sleep for a couple of hours, which is also great. THank you Lord for all the prayers and for the supply that day.
I was able to eat a bit more - I found that saltines work great to keep something in my stomach without overwhelming it - so I lived on that and soup. The worst part is that I get overwhelmed emotionally and cry a lot and also I had a lot of very painful neuropathy in my legs. It has subsided somewhat today and I am thankful for that.
Things to pray about: I have a CT scan on Monday to determine what is going on with the tumors and to see whether I will have surgery before or after the 4th round of chemo. The wound from the first surgery is not quite healed but is doing well - so it is a bit hard to think about another surgery - but the Lord has carried me thus far and will continue I am sure. Please pray for wisdom for Dr. Berkowitz and his team. Also please pray that I will remain healthy - since my white blood cell count is lower and I am at risk for infections.
I appreciated those to responded to my questions about suffering and gaining the Lord. I am so encouraged to keep looking at away to Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of faith. When we behold Him, we are transformed into the same image! That is quite remarkable and encouraging.
Please pray for my family these days. It is hard to have a mom who is not able to do what I used to do - hard on Paul and on the kids. Please pray that they can access the all-sufficient grace day by day to keep them encouraged and full of peace.
One more prayer request - I am supposed to give myself a shot twice daily - it is a small needle and it goes into fat pockets in my belly (which are plentiful) but I have quite the mental block about this and am struggling to overcome my mind which will not allow me to perform this task. So, your prayers would be appreciated!
My CA125 marker was down to 9 - but the doctor says that's not all they look at.
I am getting a bit tired now - so I will sign off. Praise the Lord for all your encouraging words, for your prayers and thoughtful words and deeds. I am sustained by them moment by moment.
Joanne
Sorry for the delay in updating the blog - I haven't been feeling up to writing at the computer. But today I have more energy so I thought I'd give you all an update. The chemo went well - no allergic reactions; only restless leg reaction to 50 mg of benadryl - which isn't too bad - I just had to walk around a bit to alleviate the feeling. I went in at 9:00 am and left at 6:30. A long day - but it was okay. I had meetings with the social worker and the nutritionist which helped pass the time. I was also able to sleep for a couple of hours, which is also great. THank you Lord for all the prayers and for the supply that day.
I was able to eat a bit more - I found that saltines work great to keep something in my stomach without overwhelming it - so I lived on that and soup. The worst part is that I get overwhelmed emotionally and cry a lot and also I had a lot of very painful neuropathy in my legs. It has subsided somewhat today and I am thankful for that.
Things to pray about: I have a CT scan on Monday to determine what is going on with the tumors and to see whether I will have surgery before or after the 4th round of chemo. The wound from the first surgery is not quite healed but is doing well - so it is a bit hard to think about another surgery - but the Lord has carried me thus far and will continue I am sure. Please pray for wisdom for Dr. Berkowitz and his team. Also please pray that I will remain healthy - since my white blood cell count is lower and I am at risk for infections.
I appreciated those to responded to my questions about suffering and gaining the Lord. I am so encouraged to keep looking at away to Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of faith. When we behold Him, we are transformed into the same image! That is quite remarkable and encouraging.
Please pray for my family these days. It is hard to have a mom who is not able to do what I used to do - hard on Paul and on the kids. Please pray that they can access the all-sufficient grace day by day to keep them encouraged and full of peace.
One more prayer request - I am supposed to give myself a shot twice daily - it is a small needle and it goes into fat pockets in my belly (which are plentiful) but I have quite the mental block about this and am struggling to overcome my mind which will not allow me to perform this task. So, your prayers would be appreciated!
My CA125 marker was down to 9 - but the doctor says that's not all they look at.
I am getting a bit tired now - so I will sign off. Praise the Lord for all your encouraging words, for your prayers and thoughtful words and deeds. I am sustained by them moment by moment.
Joanne
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
the process in trials
Philippians 3 : 8
8 But moreover I also count all things to be loss on account of the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, on account of whom I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as refuse that I may gain Christ. This phrase "that I may gain Christ" has always been a longing within me for much of my Christian life. I'm sure we all often wonder whether there has been much gaining of Christ in us. We seem the same - the earthen vessel seems still very earthen with fears, doubts etc. So I'd love your spiritual insight into this process of gaining Christ - perhaps we aren't supposed to look into ourselves to see how much we have gained - perhaps that is the Lord's job - He is the righteous judge who weighs the spirits - and our function is to just keep pursuing Him day by day. But as I go through trials - and we all do - I don't want to waste the opportunity the Lord has graciously brought into my path.
This morning I read a verse in Hebrews that talks about the discipline of the Lord:
Hebrews 12 : 11
11 Now no discipline at the present time seems to be a matter of joy, but of grief; but afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been exercised by it.
Are all trials the discipline of the Lord? What is the process of being exercised by it?
I do thank you all for your support - as I woke up today there was the grace ministered to me through the Word, through your prayer and through the power that operates in me!
As I get the chemo - this is what I pray and think about: Today God's zoe life is going to swallow up all the death in my body and "zoeify" it. The zoe life of God is the champion, who will withstand and destroy the usurping cancer cells. Praise the Lord for His unconquerable, indestructible life in us!
I know this entry seems a bit disjointed - I have to take a steroid before chemo which makes me a bit hyper. But I do ask for your insight about the questions I asked about gaining Christ, being exercised by the discipline of the Lord etc. Thank you for your continued prayer and petition.
May we all keep looking away to Jesus today! Joanne
8 But moreover I also count all things to be loss on account of the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, on account of whom I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as refuse that I may gain Christ. This phrase "that I may gain Christ" has always been a longing within me for much of my Christian life. I'm sure we all often wonder whether there has been much gaining of Christ in us. We seem the same - the earthen vessel seems still very earthen with fears, doubts etc. So I'd love your spiritual insight into this process of gaining Christ - perhaps we aren't supposed to look into ourselves to see how much we have gained - perhaps that is the Lord's job - He is the righteous judge who weighs the spirits - and our function is to just keep pursuing Him day by day. But as I go through trials - and we all do - I don't want to waste the opportunity the Lord has graciously brought into my path.
This morning I read a verse in Hebrews that talks about the discipline of the Lord:
Hebrews 12 : 11
11 Now no discipline at the present time seems to be a matter of joy, but of grief; but afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been exercised by it.
Are all trials the discipline of the Lord? What is the process of being exercised by it?
I do thank you all for your support - as I woke up today there was the grace ministered to me through the Word, through your prayer and through the power that operates in me!
As I get the chemo - this is what I pray and think about: Today God's zoe life is going to swallow up all the death in my body and "zoeify" it. The zoe life of God is the champion, who will withstand and destroy the usurping cancer cells. Praise the Lord for His unconquerable, indestructible life in us!
I know this entry seems a bit disjointed - I have to take a steroid before chemo which makes me a bit hyper. But I do ask for your insight about the questions I asked about gaining Christ, being exercised by the discipline of the Lord etc. Thank you for your continued prayer and petition.
May we all keep looking away to Jesus today! Joanne
Monday, June 11, 2007
Daily Grace
By the Lord's sustaining grace I was able to attend Andrew's graduation and watch Anna's graduation on the Harvard website. Both were awesome (in the true sense of the word!). Andrew's ability to overcome all the year's trials and be at that graduation was a testimony of the verse in Ephesians 3:20 which says:
"But to Him who is able to do superabundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power which operates in us,"
My prayers were short and to the point "Lord, enable Andrew to finish the course." And God answered above all that I could ask or think! What I just realized that He answers according to the power which operates in us. The depth of that truth is really unfathomable!
By myself I get overwhelmed with anxiety of the upcoming pain, discomfort, treatment. I think about how hard it is to get up from my bed when just 2 months ago I was bounding out of bed at 5:00 am to start the day. I have begun to realize that I did much of what I did because I could do it - in the comfortableness of my familiar routine. Whether I depended more on that comfort or on the day's portion of grace only the Lord really knows but I think that now that I can't depend on a routine, I am leaning more and more on my Beloved to face the challenges of each step in this journey. I deeply appreciate the Lord's appearing to me through the members of His Body, through your comments, visits, preparing of meals, flowers, cards and through all the prayer that sustains and supplies.
We had a graduation celebration this past Saturday for Andrew and Anna and I attended for a bit - I watched as many dear brothers and sisters participated in the preparation ,serving and planning of the meal and marvelled at how this is really living in the reality of the Body of Christ - before I would have done all of it myself (with help, of course). But this was a display of Christ through the members of His body. Hallelujah! In myself I felt a bit sad that I could not do more, but this morning when I considered what transpired and how each member functioned, I could rejoice!
Please continue to pray as the Lord leads for the upcoming chemotherapy on Wednesday - last time I started to get hives from the taxol, but another dose of Benedryl stopped the hives. Please pray that I am able to keep drinking (both physically and spiritually!)
Much love, Joanne
"But to Him who is able to do superabundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power which operates in us,"
My prayers were short and to the point "Lord, enable Andrew to finish the course." And God answered above all that I could ask or think! What I just realized that He answers according to the power which operates in us. The depth of that truth is really unfathomable!
By myself I get overwhelmed with anxiety of the upcoming pain, discomfort, treatment. I think about how hard it is to get up from my bed when just 2 months ago I was bounding out of bed at 5:00 am to start the day. I have begun to realize that I did much of what I did because I could do it - in the comfortableness of my familiar routine. Whether I depended more on that comfort or on the day's portion of grace only the Lord really knows but I think that now that I can't depend on a routine, I am leaning more and more on my Beloved to face the challenges of each step in this journey. I deeply appreciate the Lord's appearing to me through the members of His Body, through your comments, visits, preparing of meals, flowers, cards and through all the prayer that sustains and supplies.
We had a graduation celebration this past Saturday for Andrew and Anna and I attended for a bit - I watched as many dear brothers and sisters participated in the preparation ,serving and planning of the meal and marvelled at how this is really living in the reality of the Body of Christ - before I would have done all of it myself (with help, of course). But this was a display of Christ through the members of His body. Hallelujah! In myself I felt a bit sad that I could not do more, but this morning when I considered what transpired and how each member functioned, I could rejoice!
Please continue to pray as the Lord leads for the upcoming chemotherapy on Wednesday - last time I started to get hives from the taxol, but another dose of Benedryl stopped the hives. Please pray that I am able to keep drinking (both physically and spiritually!)
Much love, Joanne
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
The shower is getting easier - I was able to remove the dressing without much trouble. My big problem is that I don't want to look at the wound - I am really a chicken - the open wound just makes me feel faint. So it is tricky trying to shower, remove a bandage and then get dried off and dressed with my eyes either closed or looking up. Right now I have an aide to guide me....The nurse says the wound is healing well - which is a real answer to prayer.
I am supposed to be drinking 70-80 oz. of water a day - this is not so easy. The nutritionist said that being hydrated is the best way to fight the side effects of the chemo. So I am trying to drink. I took a walk outside yesterday with the physical therapist - everything is so green and beautiful. It was breezy which felt great! I made it down the street and back which was huge for me.
I'm trying to rest up so that I can go to Andrew's graduation tomorrow - please pray for the Lord's life to supply my physical body so that I can attend. It is at night and I have been really exhausted by around 3:30 every day. So we'll see what happens. I have to miss Anna's graduation in the morning but I think Paul and Stephen will attend.
Psalm 92: 1 - It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord and to sing praises unto Thy name, O Most High.
Thank you Lord for today - for today's portion of grace and for the bountiful supply of the Spirit.
Much love, Joanne
I am supposed to be drinking 70-80 oz. of water a day - this is not so easy. The nutritionist said that being hydrated is the best way to fight the side effects of the chemo. So I am trying to drink. I took a walk outside yesterday with the physical therapist - everything is so green and beautiful. It was breezy which felt great! I made it down the street and back which was huge for me.
I'm trying to rest up so that I can go to Andrew's graduation tomorrow - please pray for the Lord's life to supply my physical body so that I can attend. It is at night and I have been really exhausted by around 3:30 every day. So we'll see what happens. I have to miss Anna's graduation in the morning but I think Paul and Stephen will attend.
Psalm 92: 1 - It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord and to sing praises unto Thy name, O Most High.
Thank you Lord for today - for today's portion of grace and for the bountiful supply of the Spirit.
Much love, Joanne
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Wigs, protein drinks, showers, and grace
I have been really tired lately, so I haven't been posting too much. I guess I am doing more at home that I realize. We visited Dana Farber yesterday and I was able to pick up a wig (no, not blond) that looks really natural, I think. It was hard to find something that looked like my hair which is not really super curly, not really long, etc, etc. A few of the wigs looked like one of the dogs in the movie Lady and the Tramp. I kept laughing and telling the wig lady that I kind of looked like a dog in some of them. She was quite surprised but she kept on and found one.
We also visited the nutritionist who says I have to take in more protein and calories. So I am going to have to drink some kind of protein drink 3x a day - in addition to meals. I am not sure how this will work out.
My next chemo treatment is June 13th. Please pray for the effectiveness of the chemo to kill those renegade cancer cells - and also pray that I wouldn't be completely clobbered by the treatment - last time I didn't eat or drink much for 4 days but I had the liquid nutrition (TPN). This time there is no TPN, so somehow I have to be able to take in nourishment.
I have to face another shower today. This is somewhat stressful since the aide and I are supposed to remove the wound dressing without the help of the nurse. The visiting nurses are required to show improvement in the patient and taking the shower and removing the dressing without the nurse shows this. They also are supposed to train a family member to do the dressing change - however, I don't have a family member that is able to do this right now due to schedules and having to do a million other things - it is frustrating and stressful to have to deal with following the rules of the insurance company - which seem out of touch with the family's situation. I've been praying that this would work out but it does give me a headache.
I'm going to rest a bit - to garner strength for the day's challenges. I am thankful for today's portion of grace which can meet and surpass all my needs. His grace is sufficient. Lord, strengthen us all to come forward to You today to take the grace You are supplying! Thank you Lord!
Joanne
We also visited the nutritionist who says I have to take in more protein and calories. So I am going to have to drink some kind of protein drink 3x a day - in addition to meals. I am not sure how this will work out.
My next chemo treatment is June 13th. Please pray for the effectiveness of the chemo to kill those renegade cancer cells - and also pray that I wouldn't be completely clobbered by the treatment - last time I didn't eat or drink much for 4 days but I had the liquid nutrition (TPN). This time there is no TPN, so somehow I have to be able to take in nourishment.
I have to face another shower today. This is somewhat stressful since the aide and I are supposed to remove the wound dressing without the help of the nurse. The visiting nurses are required to show improvement in the patient and taking the shower and removing the dressing without the nurse shows this. They also are supposed to train a family member to do the dressing change - however, I don't have a family member that is able to do this right now due to schedules and having to do a million other things - it is frustrating and stressful to have to deal with following the rules of the insurance company - which seem out of touch with the family's situation. I've been praying that this would work out but it does give me a headache.
I'm going to rest a bit - to garner strength for the day's challenges. I am thankful for today's portion of grace which can meet and surpass all my needs. His grace is sufficient. Lord, strengthen us all to come forward to You today to take the grace You are supplying! Thank you Lord!
Joanne
Saturday, June 2, 2007
earthen vessel
Well, I cried in the shower - mostly because it felt like the right thing to do, given my unreasonably heightened anxiety and the rather disbelieving looks on the faces of the home health aide and nurse. The nurse did encourage me to cry to my heart's content - that the shower was the right place for crying and singing. The bandage did not loosen as I expected and was quite painful being taken off. The next shower will be Tuesday and the nurse will not be there - just me and the aide (who is about 24 and doesn't really want to go into nursing as a career). I suppose the shower was refreshing but I was really amazed how somehow I was able to get into that shower - even with all my fear - it showed me again how I am just an earthen vessel - weak, fearful at times and not too brave, but I am indwelt with a treasure - the indwelling Christ who carried me and held me in that situation. Thank you all for praying. So, I am encouraged as I think about the next shower or even upcoming chemo and surgery and more chemo (which together can be crushing to even consider for a moment) that I have One who does sustain, supply and bear all things. I am reminded of something I read in a booklet entitled The Treasure in Earthen Vessels by Watchman Nee. I re-read the following portion of it this morning. It was so encouraging:
"God wants us to arrive at the point where we see that everything human is just an earthen vessel to contain God's treasure...As we journey along this way, we will discover the immensity of the spiritual contradiction that exists within us. As time goes on, we find this cleavage, this dividing gulf, is ever widening; the contradiction within us is ever accentuated. At the same time, the treasure is expressed ever clearer. The earthen vessel remains an earthen vessel. How wonderful this picture is! We find a man whose original traits remain intact, yet God gives him a patience far more excellent than his natural resilience. It is better to see a man in whom God has placed humility than to see a naturally reticent person. It is better to see a man in whom God has placed meekness than to see a person who is weak and impotent by nature. It is better to see a person in whom God's power resides than to see a naturally strong man. The inward difference is enormous. It matters little what kind of earthen vessel we have; the treasure can always go inside. The earthen vessel remains an earthen vessel, but it is now a filled vessel. All weak people think that they are too earthen; their vessels are too full of clay and they are without any hope. Please remember that we have no reason to be disappointed or troubled. Whatever is spiritual, strong, powerful, and comes from the Lord can be manifested in us and will shine brighter and be magnified through the earthen vessel."
I have to get my daily shot (I get two in the belly a day) - Paul is the giver of the shot and has to endure my grimaces, waving hands and shouts of pain - so please continue to pray for him. My mom, sister and nephew arrive today. My mom is staying the week for Andrew's graduation. So please continue to pray for us this week. Thank you all for all your encouraging comments. They convey to me God's love and care so sweetly and tenderly. Much love to you all - Joanne
"God wants us to arrive at the point where we see that everything human is just an earthen vessel to contain God's treasure...As we journey along this way, we will discover the immensity of the spiritual contradiction that exists within us. As time goes on, we find this cleavage, this dividing gulf, is ever widening; the contradiction within us is ever accentuated. At the same time, the treasure is expressed ever clearer. The earthen vessel remains an earthen vessel. How wonderful this picture is! We find a man whose original traits remain intact, yet God gives him a patience far more excellent than his natural resilience. It is better to see a man in whom God has placed humility than to see a naturally reticent person. It is better to see a man in whom God has placed meekness than to see a person who is weak and impotent by nature. It is better to see a person in whom God's power resides than to see a naturally strong man. The inward difference is enormous. It matters little what kind of earthen vessel we have; the treasure can always go inside. The earthen vessel remains an earthen vessel, but it is now a filled vessel. All weak people think that they are too earthen; their vessels are too full of clay and they are without any hope. Please remember that we have no reason to be disappointed or troubled. Whatever is spiritual, strong, powerful, and comes from the Lord can be manifested in us and will shine brighter and be magnified through the earthen vessel."
I have to get my daily shot (I get two in the belly a day) - Paul is the giver of the shot and has to endure my grimaces, waving hands and shouts of pain - so please continue to pray for him. My mom, sister and nephew arrive today. My mom is staying the week for Andrew's graduation. So please continue to pray for us this week. Thank you all for all your encouraging comments. They convey to me God's love and care so sweetly and tenderly. Much love to you all - Joanne
Friday, June 1, 2007
new challenge
While I have never considered this a challenge before, today I am faced with taking a shower - something I have not done with the wound I still have in my abdomen. It is advised by the nurses that water run over the wound and cleanse out any impurities. However, I have not seen this wound and am rather uneasy about seeing it. So, one prayer request today is for taking care of this event with ease and courage. Since I no longer have the more dense packing on the wound which was part of the wound vac system, I feel the wound a lot more - i.e. more pain. But it's somewhat bearable. Please pray for Paul as he is struggling with all the work he usually has plus having to run the household and take care of things like food shopping, etc. plus, of course, the emotional strain of having to be a caregiver. It is very difficult. We appreciate all the meals and help with housework - this has lessened his load considerably.
Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things in Him who empowers me", which is the converse of John 15:5 "Apart from Me, you can do nothing." These are verses that I have quoted and prayed over and considered much in my life. Yet I have always considered them in the greater context of what is familiar to me. This stage in my life is unfamiliar - I do not know how to face simple things like showers, nor do I know how to adequately show my appreciation to my husband and family for all the sacrifices they endure on my behalf. I prayed this morning and told the Lord that I don't know how to be the kind of person that these situations require. But He is that person. And He can meet the requirements for each situation that I cannot meet. So, today the Lord will be my person in the shower!
Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things in Him who empowers me", which is the converse of John 15:5 "Apart from Me, you can do nothing." These are verses that I have quoted and prayed over and considered much in my life. Yet I have always considered them in the greater context of what is familiar to me. This stage in my life is unfamiliar - I do not know how to face simple things like showers, nor do I know how to adequately show my appreciation to my husband and family for all the sacrifices they endure on my behalf. I prayed this morning and told the Lord that I don't know how to be the kind of person that these situations require. But He is that person. And He can meet the requirements for each situation that I cannot meet. So, today the Lord will be my person in the shower!
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