Hello everyone,
I haven't been feeling that well due to side effects from the chemo, hence the long delay in posting. I am feeling a bit better today but still struggle with the digestive issues due to the stent. It is very hard to stay away from raw fruits and vegetables. But if I don't, I really feel awful. My blood counts are dropping so I am somewhat confined to the house - and get tired easily.
I wanted to mention that my CA125 went down from 230 to 161! I am very encouraged about this and praise the Lord for His far-reaching mercy to me. Anna and her husband arrived last week and we have been enjoying them very much. My son Stephen is arriving today and Andrew arrives on the weekend sometime.
Anna and Stephen have been making smoothies from fresh fruit which somewhat satisfies my cravings - they make very healthy interesting concoctions.
It is hard to believe 2008 is over. How faithful the Lord has been through all the ordeals - floods, surgeries, and chemo. I sometimes wish His path choices were different, but as it says in Psalms 18:30 - As for God - His way is perfect ; The word of Jehovah is tried. He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.
Through the ordeals and the days with no ordeals, Jehovah has been a shield when I have taken refuge in Him. He is enterable! Isn't that wonderful? We can take refuge in God. Wow! Rather than fight against His way, when I say amen to what He has chosen, the way is open to enter into Him and then He shields me from the fiery darts that attack my mind.
1 Under His wings I am safely abiding;
Though the night deepens and tempests are wild,
Still I can trust Him, I know He will keep me;
He has redeemed me, and I am His child.
Under His wings, under His wings,
Who from His love can sever?
Under His wings my soul shall abide,
Safely abide forever.
2 Under His wings—what a refuge in sorrow!
How the heart yearningly turns to His rest!
Often when earth has no balm for my healing,
There I find comfort, and there I am blest.
3 Under His wings—oh, what precious enjoyment!
There will I hide till life's trials are o'er;
Sheltered, protected, no evil can harm me;
Resting in Jesus I'm safe evermore.
Please pray about the digestion and the stent and the pain that occurs whenever I have a meal. It is very uncomfortable - I spent most of today in a lot of pain. I ate a few clementines today thinking this would not aggravate the stent, but I was wrong. O Lord. My next chemo is scheduled for January 7th, 2009.
Much love dear ones,
Joanne
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Another song in the night
Sorry - it is late, very late and the steroids are keeping me up - so the Lord has met me with a song in the night and I thought I would share it with you. It is based on Psalm 73:
PSALM 73
1 Surely God is good to Israel, To those who are pure in heart.
2 But as for me, my feet were nearly turned aside; My steps had almost slipped.
3 For I was envious of the arrogant, When I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
4 For they have no pangs in their death, And their body is well nourished.
5 They do not find themselves in the hardship of men, Nor are they plagued like other men.
6 Therefore pride is a necklace for them, Violence covers them like a garment.
7 Their eyes bulge out from fatness; The imaginations of their heart overflow.
8 They mock and wickedly speak of oppression; They speak loftily.
9 They set their mouth against the heavens, And their tongue walks about on the earth.
10 Therefore his people return here, And waters of abundance are drained by them;
11 And they say, How does God know? And is there knowledge with the Most High?
12 Behold, these are the wicked; And always at ease, they heap up riches.
13 Surely I have purified my heart in vain, And I have washed my hands in innocence.
14 For I have been plagued all day long And chastened every morning.
15 If I had said, I will speak thus; Behold, I would have betrayed the generation of Your children.
16 When I considered this in order to understand it, It was a troublesome task in my sight,
17 Until I went into the sanctuary of God; Then I perceived their end.
18 Surely You set them in slippery places; You cast them down into ruins.
19 How they are made desolate in a moment! They are utterly consumed by terrors.
20 Like a dream, when one awakes, You, O Lord, Upon arising, will despise their image.
21 When my heart was embittered, And inwardly I was pricked;
22 I was brutish and knew nothing; I was like a beast before You.
23 Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand.
24 You will guide me with Your counsel, And afterward You will receive me in glory.
25 Whom do I have in heaven but You? And besides You there is nothing I desire on earth.
26 My flesh and my heart fail, But God is the rock of my heart and my portion forever.
27 For behold, those who are far from You will perish; You destroy all who go about as harlots away from You.
28 But as for me, drawing near to God is good for me; I have made the Lord Jehovah my refuge, That I may declare all Your works.
Here is the lovely hymn along with the tune: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php?t=ns&n=287&f=mid
1 There are times in my life
When my heart is embittered.
There are questions unanswered,
Yet, You're drawing me
To enter
Into Your blessed sanctuary
And turning my eyes heavenward,
The questions of constant inquiry
Are changed to these words,
2 "Whom do I have in heaven
But You, dear Jehovah.
My flesh and my heart
Constantly fail,
But God's still
The strength of my heart and my portion;
To Him forever I'll draw near.
I've made Jehovah my sweet refuge.
So now throughout the years
3 Turn my view to see You,
How I need to see Jesus!!
Though I don't understand
The ways that You take;
Lord, make me
A babe and suckling always praising.
Enjoying Your worth day by day.
Let each experience constitute me
So Your life I'll display
In every way.
Oh, Lord, turn my view to see You! Though I don't always understand the ways you take. Help me to enjoy Your worth day by day, so Your life will be expressed in my each day. Amen.
Love, Joanne
PSALM 73
1 Surely God is good to Israel, To those who are pure in heart.
2 But as for me, my feet were nearly turned aside; My steps had almost slipped.
3 For I was envious of the arrogant, When I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
4 For they have no pangs in their death, And their body is well nourished.
5 They do not find themselves in the hardship of men, Nor are they plagued like other men.
6 Therefore pride is a necklace for them, Violence covers them like a garment.
7 Their eyes bulge out from fatness; The imaginations of their heart overflow.
8 They mock and wickedly speak of oppression; They speak loftily.
9 They set their mouth against the heavens, And their tongue walks about on the earth.
10 Therefore his people return here, And waters of abundance are drained by them;
11 And they say, How does God know? And is there knowledge with the Most High?
12 Behold, these are the wicked; And always at ease, they heap up riches.
13 Surely I have purified my heart in vain, And I have washed my hands in innocence.
14 For I have been plagued all day long And chastened every morning.
15 If I had said, I will speak thus; Behold, I would have betrayed the generation of Your children.
16 When I considered this in order to understand it, It was a troublesome task in my sight,
17 Until I went into the sanctuary of God; Then I perceived their end.
18 Surely You set them in slippery places; You cast them down into ruins.
19 How they are made desolate in a moment! They are utterly consumed by terrors.
20 Like a dream, when one awakes, You, O Lord, Upon arising, will despise their image.
21 When my heart was embittered, And inwardly I was pricked;
22 I was brutish and knew nothing; I was like a beast before You.
23 Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand.
24 You will guide me with Your counsel, And afterward You will receive me in glory.
25 Whom do I have in heaven but You? And besides You there is nothing I desire on earth.
26 My flesh and my heart fail, But God is the rock of my heart and my portion forever.
27 For behold, those who are far from You will perish; You destroy all who go about as harlots away from You.
28 But as for me, drawing near to God is good for me; I have made the Lord Jehovah my refuge, That I may declare all Your works.
Here is the lovely hymn along with the tune: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php?t=ns&n=287&f=mid
1 There are times in my life
When my heart is embittered.
There are questions unanswered,
Yet, You're drawing me
To enter
Into Your blessed sanctuary
And turning my eyes heavenward,
The questions of constant inquiry
Are changed to these words,
2 "Whom do I have in heaven
But You, dear Jehovah.
My flesh and my heart
Constantly fail,
But God's still
The strength of my heart and my portion;
To Him forever I'll draw near.
I've made Jehovah my sweet refuge.
So now throughout the years
3 Turn my view to see You,
How I need to see Jesus!!
Though I don't understand
The ways that You take;
Lord, make me
A babe and suckling always praising.
Enjoying Your worth day by day.
Let each experience constitute me
So Your life I'll display
In every way.
Oh, Lord, turn my view to see You! Though I don't always understand the ways you take. Help me to enjoy Your worth day by day, so Your life will be expressed in my each day. Amen.
Love, Joanne
Monday, December 15, 2008
Prayer request for Wednesday
Hi everyone
I will be having my next round of chemo this Wednesday. Please pray for the effectiveness of the chemo - to kill all the cancer cells and also for a minimum of side effects - last time I was really, really sick from the chemo and got pretty discouraged for a few days. This time around I am asking Dr. Berlin if I can take steroids for a day or two following the chemo treatment - it helps suppress side effects, which would be a good thing. Anna and her husband are coming home on Friday - so it will be great to see them again so soon. Stephen and Andrew will be coming home later on before New Year's - it is a real treat that Stephen can get a break from med school to come home.
I really enjoyed this verse and hymn today in the early hours of the morning, the main theme being a cry from the believer to grow in grace.
2 Peter 3:18 says:
18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and unto the day of eternity. Amen.
1 Unto him that hath Thou givest
Ever more abundantly;
Lord, I live because Thou livest,
Therefore give more life to me,
Therefore speed me in the race,
Therefore let me grow in grace.
Therefore speed me in the race,
Therefore let me grow in grace.
2 Deepen all Thy work, O Master,
Strengthen every downward root;
Only do Thou ripen faster,
More and more Thy pleasant fruit;
Purge me, prune me, self abase;
Only let me grow in grace.
Purge me, prune me, self abase;
Only let me grow in grace.
3 Let me grow by sun and shower,
Every moment water me;
Make me really, hour by hour,
More and more conformed to Thee,
That Thy loving eye may trace
Day by day my growth in grace.
That Thy loving eye may trace
Day by day my growth in grace.
4 From Thy fulness grace outpouring,
Show me ever greater things;
Raise me higher, sunward soaring,
Mounting as on eagle-wings.
By the brightness of Thy face,
Ever let me grow in grace.
By the brightness of Thy face,
Ever let me grow in grace.
5 Let me, then, be always growing,
Never, never standing still,
Listening, learning, better knowing
Thee and Thy most blessed will.
Till I win the glorious race,
Daily let me grow in grace.
Till I win the glorious race,
Daily let me grow in grace.
Link to tune: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php?t=nt&n=394b&f=mid
This hymn is really such a marvelous prayer - deepen all Thy work, O Master - strengthen every downward root - this verse is so wonderful. As believers we have moment by moment opportunities to grow in grace. How wonderful. Whether by sun or by shower, O Lord, day by day may we grow in grace.
Thank you all for standing with me in this trial. I am sustained and supplied through your petition and the bountiful supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Hallelujah!
Love,
Joanne
I will be having my next round of chemo this Wednesday. Please pray for the effectiveness of the chemo - to kill all the cancer cells and also for a minimum of side effects - last time I was really, really sick from the chemo and got pretty discouraged for a few days. This time around I am asking Dr. Berlin if I can take steroids for a day or two following the chemo treatment - it helps suppress side effects, which would be a good thing. Anna and her husband are coming home on Friday - so it will be great to see them again so soon. Stephen and Andrew will be coming home later on before New Year's - it is a real treat that Stephen can get a break from med school to come home.
I really enjoyed this verse and hymn today in the early hours of the morning, the main theme being a cry from the believer to grow in grace.
2 Peter 3:18 says:
18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and unto the day of eternity. Amen.
1 Unto him that hath Thou givest
Ever more abundantly;
Lord, I live because Thou livest,
Therefore give more life to me,
Therefore speed me in the race,
Therefore let me grow in grace.
Therefore speed me in the race,
Therefore let me grow in grace.
2 Deepen all Thy work, O Master,
Strengthen every downward root;
Only do Thou ripen faster,
More and more Thy pleasant fruit;
Purge me, prune me, self abase;
Only let me grow in grace.
Purge me, prune me, self abase;
Only let me grow in grace.
3 Let me grow by sun and shower,
Every moment water me;
Make me really, hour by hour,
More and more conformed to Thee,
That Thy loving eye may trace
Day by day my growth in grace.
That Thy loving eye may trace
Day by day my growth in grace.
4 From Thy fulness grace outpouring,
Show me ever greater things;
Raise me higher, sunward soaring,
Mounting as on eagle-wings.
By the brightness of Thy face,
Ever let me grow in grace.
By the brightness of Thy face,
Ever let me grow in grace.
5 Let me, then, be always growing,
Never, never standing still,
Listening, learning, better knowing
Thee and Thy most blessed will.
Till I win the glorious race,
Daily let me grow in grace.
Till I win the glorious race,
Daily let me grow in grace.
Link to tune: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php?t=nt&n=394b&f=mid
This hymn is really such a marvelous prayer - deepen all Thy work, O Master - strengthen every downward root - this verse is so wonderful. As believers we have moment by moment opportunities to grow in grace. How wonderful. Whether by sun or by shower, O Lord, day by day may we grow in grace.
Thank you all for standing with me in this trial. I am sustained and supplied through your petition and the bountiful supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Hallelujah!
Love,
Joanne
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Addendum to previous post
She did what she could....**This is actually a verse: Mark 14:8a: about Mary anointing the feet of the Lord Jesus with all she had - She has done what she could. Did you know that this account of what Mary did is recorded in all 4 gospels?
This reminds me of that wonderful footnote and song from Matthew 26:8:
Here is the song which is very lovely. Here's a link to the melody: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php?t=ns&n=99&f=mid
1 Mary poured out her love offering
To many such love was a waste.
Throughout all of the centuries
Such lovers Your sweetness do taste.
Precious lives and heart treasures, too
Positions and golden futures,
Have been "wasted" on You, Lord;
Your sweetness a fragrance so sure.
She took opportunity
To love You; Lord, with her best.
Like her, Lord, I too would pour
My love and all that I have.
2 As I love You I set my being—
My spirit, my soul and body.
With my heart, my mind, and my strength,
Absolutely on Thee.
Lord, I let my entire being
Be occupied by Thee
As I enter in Your heart
I sense a fellowship sweet.
Occupied and lost in You;
My Lord, You're my everything.
Fellowship so intimate;
In spirit Lord I enjoy Thee.
3 Lord there's none in heav'n nor on earth
That I desire but Thee.
Though my heart and flesh faileth, Lord,
Thou ever my portion will be.
All is vanity, all is dung;
I count all other things loss;
Everything else drains my love
But You have captured my heart.
Lord, I've seen Thy preciousness,
Thy worth, Thy reality.
Now, my Lord, I must confess
My heart is only for Thee.
Watchman Nee wrote a chapter in The Normal Christian Life about Mary, called Waste. Here is an excerpt:
Oh Lord, You are worthy!
Joanne
This reminds me of that wonderful footnote and song from Matthew 26:8:
8-1 The disciples considered Mary's love offering to the Lord a waste. Throughout the past twenty centuries thousands of precious lives, heart treasures, high positions, and golden futures have been "wasted" upon the Lord Jesus. To those who love Him in such a way He is altogether lovely and worthy of their offering. What they have poured upon Him is not a waste but a fragrant testimony of His sweetness.
Here is the song which is very lovely. Here's a link to the melody: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php?t=ns&n=99&f=mid
1 Mary poured out her love offering
To many such love was a waste.
Throughout all of the centuries
Such lovers Your sweetness do taste.
Precious lives and heart treasures, too
Positions and golden futures,
Have been "wasted" on You, Lord;
Your sweetness a fragrance so sure.
She took opportunity
To love You; Lord, with her best.
Like her, Lord, I too would pour
My love and all that I have.
2 As I love You I set my being—
My spirit, my soul and body.
With my heart, my mind, and my strength,
Absolutely on Thee.
Lord, I let my entire being
Be occupied by Thee
As I enter in Your heart
I sense a fellowship sweet.
Occupied and lost in You;
My Lord, You're my everything.
Fellowship so intimate;
In spirit Lord I enjoy Thee.
3 Lord there's none in heav'n nor on earth
That I desire but Thee.
Though my heart and flesh faileth, Lord,
Thou ever my portion will be.
All is vanity, all is dung;
I count all other things loss;
Everything else drains my love
But You have captured my heart.
Lord, I've seen Thy preciousness,
Thy worth, Thy reality.
Now, my Lord, I must confess
My heart is only for Thee.
Watchman Nee wrote a chapter in The Normal Christian Life about Mary, called Waste. Here is an excerpt:
"She has done a noble deed to Me" (Matt. 26:10). "She has done what she could" (Mark 14:8). In other words, Mary laid down all that she had. We need to calculate the cost and spend everything on Christ. In other words, we should waste everything on Him. If we have not wasted ourselves completely on Him, we have not done enough yet. Thank the Lord that many people could have been very useful if they had not wasted themselves on the Lord. They could have become a famous writer, scientist, or doctor. But they wasted themselves totally on Christ. God is calling men to waste themselves on Christ! Friends, have you done all that you can do? The Lord said that Mary had done what she could! Have you done what you can? Wherever the gospel is proclaimed, the waste is also proclaimed. Wherever the gospel is proclaimed, many useful and great works of men will be stripped away for the Lord's sake, and the desire for result and fruit will be lost. Wherever the gospel is proclaimed, everything is poured on Christ. Whatever is poured on Christ is not a waste, but will bring genuine fruit. Thank the Lord that the poor and works count little. The point is not how much the poor will benefit or how much society and the nation will benefit, but what the Lord will gain. Today in the church, men ask what the poor, the society, and the nation will gain. But we should ask what the Lord will also gain. May the gospel be preached here and the story of Mary also be preached here, and may more Marys be raised up here.
Oh Lord, You are worthy!
Joanne
Update
Hi everyone,
Sorry for being so deliquent in updating the blog - I have been feeling exhausted this week and also still having to deal with the stomach pains, cramps and general uncomfortable feeling whenever I eat anything. Even drinking water causes pain. Since I have these stents, I am supposed to eat a very processed diet - the opposite of what I have been eating - one doctor called it "The Twinkie Diet". This diet should be composed of highly caloric processed foods - UGH - because I don't have to eat much to get a large amount of calories. While I haven't really taken this diet seriously, I have not been able to eat much fresh, raw foods without experiencing intense pain - so no fruit or vegetables. Everything has to be cooked or processed in the food processor - like baby foods or smoothies. Smoothies sound good - I just have to find some recipes that don't have milk - it seems that milk products cause stomach aches as well.
I saw Dr. Berlin today and found that my white and red counts are down (as expected) and that is the main reason for the exhaustion. My next round of chemo is on Wednesday, December 17. Please pray for the effective killing of the cancer cells and that the Lord, in His mercy would subdue some of the awful side effects from the chemo.
While I was in the hospital so many of you called/visited/prayed. I want you all to know how much you ministered life to me both physically and spiritually. How much we need one another as we go through all these suffering circumstances.
I am so grateful to the Lord for each day. His mercies are new every morning. His rich supply is like the manna - the fresh dew each morning. His grace is sufficient and is available for timely help. His throne is a throne of grace, where I can come boldly. Hallelujah! Again I enjoyed this great hymn by Fanny Crosby:
1 Redeemed—how I love to proclaim it!
Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb;
Redeemed through His infinite mercy,
His child, and forever, I am.
Redeemed, redeemed,
Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb;
Redeemed, redeemed,
His child, and forever, I am.
2 Redeemed and so happy in Jesus,
No language my rapture can tell;
I know that the light of His presence
With me doth continually dwell.
3 I think of my blessed Redeemer,
I think of Him all the day long;
I sing, for I cannot be silent;
His love is the theme of my song.
4 I know I shall see in His beauty
The King in whose way I delight;
Who lovingly guardeth my footsteps,
And giveth me songs in the night.
I especially enjoyed the lines I sing for I cannot be silent - His love is the theme of my song! I'm sure you all know about Fanny Crosby, but in case you don't - she was blind from a baby and wrote over 8,000 hymns in her lifetime. On her tombstone is inscribed "She did what she could."** Wow! You never sense in any of her hymns anything but rejoicing! What a wonderful testimony.
**see next post in blog.
Love you all,
Joanne
Sorry for being so deliquent in updating the blog - I have been feeling exhausted this week and also still having to deal with the stomach pains, cramps and general uncomfortable feeling whenever I eat anything. Even drinking water causes pain. Since I have these stents, I am supposed to eat a very processed diet - the opposite of what I have been eating - one doctor called it "The Twinkie Diet". This diet should be composed of highly caloric processed foods - UGH - because I don't have to eat much to get a large amount of calories. While I haven't really taken this diet seriously, I have not been able to eat much fresh, raw foods without experiencing intense pain - so no fruit or vegetables. Everything has to be cooked or processed in the food processor - like baby foods or smoothies. Smoothies sound good - I just have to find some recipes that don't have milk - it seems that milk products cause stomach aches as well.
I saw Dr. Berlin today and found that my white and red counts are down (as expected) and that is the main reason for the exhaustion. My next round of chemo is on Wednesday, December 17. Please pray for the effective killing of the cancer cells and that the Lord, in His mercy would subdue some of the awful side effects from the chemo.
While I was in the hospital so many of you called/visited/prayed. I want you all to know how much you ministered life to me both physically and spiritually. How much we need one another as we go through all these suffering circumstances.
I am so grateful to the Lord for each day. His mercies are new every morning. His rich supply is like the manna - the fresh dew each morning. His grace is sufficient and is available for timely help. His throne is a throne of grace, where I can come boldly. Hallelujah! Again I enjoyed this great hymn by Fanny Crosby:
1 Redeemed—how I love to proclaim it!
Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb;
Redeemed through His infinite mercy,
His child, and forever, I am.
Redeemed, redeemed,
Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb;
Redeemed, redeemed,
His child, and forever, I am.
2 Redeemed and so happy in Jesus,
No language my rapture can tell;
I know that the light of His presence
With me doth continually dwell.
3 I think of my blessed Redeemer,
I think of Him all the day long;
I sing, for I cannot be silent;
His love is the theme of my song.
4 I know I shall see in His beauty
The King in whose way I delight;
Who lovingly guardeth my footsteps,
And giveth me songs in the night.
I especially enjoyed the lines I sing for I cannot be silent - His love is the theme of my song! I'm sure you all know about Fanny Crosby, but in case you don't - she was blind from a baby and wrote over 8,000 hymns in her lifetime. On her tombstone is inscribed "She did what she could."** Wow! You never sense in any of her hymns anything but rejoicing! What a wonderful testimony.
**see next post in blog.
Love you all,
Joanne
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