A time for every purpose under heaven

At the close of 2007, I am reminded of these verses in Ecclesiastes chapter 3:1-8:

1 For everything there is a season, And a time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to seek, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear, and a time to sew; A time to be silent, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; A time for war, and a time for peace.

As I read these verses, I realized that this year I have experience much of these "times" - killing, healing, tearing down, building up, weeping, laughing, mourning, dancing. While it has seemed overwhelming at times, nothing has been out of control. God has set the boundaries of each suffering, of each trial. He has supplied superabundantly above all that we could ask or think.

Today my children and my husband talked about those days back in April when I was first diagnosed. I don't remember much of that time but as they related different things that happened I was in awe of all that the Lord has done. While we were not prepared for what happened, we were supplied by God to go through it. We are still being supplied day by day, moment by moment. Even though this year has been filled with an unexpected journey through a region of life that we would never choose, what has sustained us, what has supplied us and what has carried us through has not been the resolution of the problems, but the supply of Life - the divine life that corresponds to our innermost being. We are so thankful for all of you standing with us through these "times."

The incision has healed well and is still a bit tender. I have a follow-up visit with Dr. Berkowitz and a CT scan scheduled for January 9. As the Lord provides, I hope to help out at the Boston Trinity Academy library beginning in January. Please pray for strengthening each day and continued healing.

May the new year bring with it multiple opportunities for all of us to experience and plumb the depths of the love of God, the grace of Christ and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.

Much love to you all,
Joanne

when "not doing" is "doing"

I decided not to drive down with my husband and family to New York to be with my mother and siblings for a few days and instead take the opportunity to rest. This is completely contrary to my nature - I would never choose to do "nothing". But today as I was considering this, I realized that choosing to rest is very important - something we all need to "do." I am reminded of a story that a brother in the Lord related to me about his childhood. He was a young boy when the troops returned from fighting in Europe and the Pacific in World War II. He remembered the cheers of the crowds as the soldiers and the tanks went by his window. But he told me that the cheers got very loud at one point and he thought that these must be the strongest soldiers and the biggest tanks coming up next, but instead it was the wounded soldiers who were being carried on stretchers or pushed in wheelchairs that got the loudest cheers. He told me that sometimes it is our function to fight on the front lines and wage war, and other times it is our function to be carried. When we allow ourselves to be carried by others, we are strengthened and perhaps one day we will be the ones who carry others. This testimony has always encouraged me especially since I too often get trapped in evaluating my functioning. How wonderful to be at rest with where the Lord has placed us and enjoy the grace that He supplies either to labor or to be laid aside for a time. Watchman Nee wrote a wonderful hymn about this: Live Thyself, Lord Jesus, through me. Verse 3 says:

Every moment, every member,
Girded, waiting Thy command;
Underneath the yoke to labor
Or be laid aside as planned.
When restricted in pursuing,
No disquiet will beset;
Underneath Thy faithful dealing
Not a murmur or regret.

I am also comforted by these verses in Matthew 11:28-30

28 Come to Me all who toil and are burdened, and I will give you rest.

29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Footnotes from the Recovery Version:

To take the Lord's yoke is to take the will of the Father. It is not to be regulated or controlled by any obligation of the law or religion or to be enslaved by any work, but to be constrained by the will of the Father. The Lord lived such a life, caring for nothing but the will of His Father (John 4:34; 5:30; 6:38). He submitted Himself fully to the Father's will (26:39, 42). Hence, He asks us to learn from Him.

The Greek word means fit for use; hence, good, kind, mild, gentle, easy, pleasant — in contrast to hard, harsh, sharp, bitter.

The Lord's yoke is easy! His burden is light! To strive to fulfill any law whether external or self-made is to toil and be burdened. But the Lord calls us to come to Him to find rest for our souls. He is truly wonderful.

The incision is healing - resting helps the process - I am so thankful that I was asleep during the surgery - I am a bit needle-phobic and when I heard there was going to be local anesthesia administered with a needle, I prayed that I would be asleep during that part and I was! The last thing I remember is Dr. Berkowitz entering the operating room and smiling to me, waving his mask. At the pre-op visit, he told me I would see him before the surgery without his mask on - and he fulfilled his promise.

Praise the Lord, dear ones - may the Lord richly bless you all with Life abundant!

Much love,
Joanne

Surgery Update

Things went very well today - the IP port was taken out without any complications. I just have pain right now, which was expected. I am resting and am so grateful to the Lord for how smoothly everything went today.

I am going to rest now. Here's a hymn I have been enjoying:

Christ, whose glory fills the skies
Christ, the true, the only Light,
Sun of Righteousness, arise,
Triumph o'er the shades of night;
Dayspring from on high, be near,
Daystar, in my heart appear.

Dark and cheerless is the morn
Unaccompanied by Thee;
Joyless is the day's return,
Till Thy mercy's beams I see,
Till Thou inward light impart,
Glad my eyes, and warm my heart.

Visit then this soul of mine,
Pierce the gloom of sin and grief;
Fill me, Radiancy divine,
Scatter all my unbelief;
More and more Thyself display,
Shining to the perfect day.


Fill us, Radiancy divine! - Scatter all my unbelief and display more and more of Thyself.

Thank you for praying. He who inhabits eternity goes before and continues to supply grace moment by moment. Praise Him!

Much love,
Joanne

"Behold I make all things new!"

When I saw Dr. Berkowitz last Friday, he explained that they have done several dozen of these IP port removals and have not had any complications with the removal. Typically, they sedate the patient and use a local anesthetic. He did say that there is a remote possibility that the port might get caught or stuck and then they have to open the abdomen to remove it. This has not happened yet but its possibility causes me to again have to rely on the Lord for every detail. Please pray for this surgery that nothing will get stuck and the port will be removed easily.

One of my favorite hymn lyrics is a familiar hymn for this time of year - which I think, due to its over-use and familiarity, might cause us to miss the wonderful truth that is contained in the words. The Lord has promised that He makes all things new - even old, familiar hymns.

1 Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the new-born King;
Peace on earth, and mercy mild;
God and sinners reconciled."
Joyful, all ye nations, rise,
Join the triumph of the skies;
With angelic hosts proclaim,
"Christ is born in Bethlehem."

2 Christ, by highest heav'n adored,
Christ, the everlasting Lord:
Late in time behold Him come,
Offspring of a virgin's womb.
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see,
Hail th' incarnate Deity!
Pleased as man with man to dwell,
Jesus our Immanuel.

3 Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Sun of righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings,
Ris'n with healing in His wings:
Mild He lays His glory by,
Born that man no more may die;
Born to raise the sons of earth;
Born to give them second birth.

4 Come, Desire of nations, come!
Fix in us Thy humble home:
Rise, the woman's conqu'ring seed,
Bruise in us the serpent's head;
Adam's likeness now efface,
Stamp Thine image in its place:
Final Adam from above,
Reinstate us in Thy love.


The lines that jump out to me are from verse 1: God and sinners reconciled; from verse 2: Pleased as man with man to dwell, Jesus our Immanuel; from verse 3: Born that man no more may die; from verse 4: Adam's likeness now efface, Stamp Thine image in its place.

Sometimes when I am spending time with the Lord, I use the hymns to pray and also to praise and thank the Lord for what He has accomplished. Just praying those few lines above would be a wonderful way to enjoy the Lord - "Thank you Lord that through Your coming, through Your death and resurrection God and sinners are reconciled. Thank you Lord that you were pleased to become a man to dwell among men - Praise You Lord that You are Immanuel - God with us! You were born - You entered humanity and began the process of destroying sin, death, and the devil! Praise You that today You are removing every trace of old Adam and doing the work of conforming us to the image of Christ. Do that work more in us today - stamp Your image in every part of our being."

Hopefully when you hear this hymn it will be new to you - and you will enjoy the wonder of the "Incarnate Diety".

Thank you for standing with me through this time.
Much love,
Joanne

White as snow

Yesterday afternoon and evening we had a snow storm and got about 12 inches of fluffy white snow - it is really beautiful this morning to see everything covered in white. During the night however I was plagued by an incessant reminder of an old sin that I had confessed - the thought that kept me awake a good part of the night was that what I had done was not enough - I had not made it right completely and that this would cost me the kingdom. When I woke up this morning and looked at the snow, I was reminded of that verse in Isaiah 1:18: Come now and let us reason together, Says Jehovah. Though your sins are like scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are as red as crimson, They will be like wool.
Here's another verse: Psalms 103:12: As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
And of course the verse in 1 John 1:9: If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I was also reminded of the accuser of the brethren who accuses us before God day and night (Rev. 12:10) and how to overcome him: Revelation 12:11 And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they loved not their soul-life even unto death. The enemy of God would like to remind of our sins and keep us in a constant anxiety about them, thus robbing us of enjoying all that Christ has accomplished on the cross.

I was also reminded that I am a member of the body of Christ and as a member I am clothed with the armor of God, by which I can stand against the stratagems of the devil(Eph 6). One part of the armor is the helmet of salvation. Here is a footnote about the effectiveness of this helmet:

17-1 Receiving the helmet of salvation is for covering our mind, our mentality, against the negative thoughts shot in by the evil one. Such a helmet, such a covering, is God's salvation. Satan injects threats, worries, anxieties, and other weakening thoughts into our mind. God's salvation is the covering that we take up against all these. Such a salvation is the saving Christ whom we experience in our daily life.

With this helmet and with the sword of the Spirit-the Word of God, we are able to overcome, to withstand in the evil day! Today, I choose to be empowered in the Lord and in the might of His strength (Eph. 6:10). This strength is really quite powerful - it is the the power that raised Christ from the dead and seated Him in the heavens, far above all the evil spirits in the air.

I am reminded of this wonderful hymn:
1 Praise Him! praise Him! Christ is Victor!
He has won the victory!
Sin is judged, old Adam finished,
Full redemption now we see!
Vanquished all the evil powers
Thru the Cross triumphantly!

2 Praise Him! Christ is resurrected!
God hath raised Him from the dead!
All the pow’r of death is swallowed,
Man from death to life is led!
Broken through are hell and darkness
And His pow’r exhibited!

3 Praise Him! Christ hath now ascended!
God hath raised Him to the throne!
Far above all rule and power,
He the highest Name doth own!
All authority receiving
Till His foe is overthrown!

4 Hallelujah, Christ the Victor
Triumphed on Mt. Calvary!
Hallelujah, resurrected,
He displays His victory!
Hallelujah, now ascended,
He shall reign eternally!

Here's a link to the tune if you want to sing along: http://www.hymnal.net/Hymns/Hymnal/midi/e0009_i.mid

Today I have an appointment with Dr. Berkowitz and a pre-op visit at Brigham and Women's Hospital. Please pray for the Lord to cover all aspect of the surgery which is December 20th at 7:30 am.

Take time to enjoy Christ our Victor today!
Joanne

Giving and receiving

I actually used the ellipical trainer yesterday for 11 minutes! A new world record for out of shape me! Today, however, I was not able to do much - but I did a little cooking, which was fun. I am still having intestinal issues - hopefully this will lessen as I get stronger. My outing on Friday was really wonderful. It was great to visit with dear friends who manifest the love of God to me. Last night I got a call from someone who used to live in Dedham, who was like a part of our family when my children were younger - her daughter was our babysitter and she spent a lot of time with us. She didn't know what I had been through but was so full of encouragement from the Lord for me. It was a wonderful call. I woke up today thinking about how much I have received during this time of trial. Even though it has been a time of loss, I have been the rich recipient of the superabundance of the Lord's rich supply, ministered to me by so many of you - whether through your prayer, fellowship, meals, emails, phone calls, visits, cards....you have all given so much - be assured of this promise in Luke 6:38:

38 Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, they will give into your bosom. For with what measure you measure, it shall be measured to you in return.

When I read this verse, I was reminded of this hymn - written by a sister, serving the Lord in China:

1 There is always something over,
When we taste our gracious Lord;
Ev'ry cup He fills o'erfloweth,
Rich supply He doth afford.
Nothing narrow, nothing stinted,
Ever issued from His store;
To His own He gives full measure,
Running over, evermore.
To His own He gives full measure,
Running over, evermore.

2 There is always something over,
When we, from the Father's hand,
Take our portion with thanksgiving,
Praising for the things He planned.
Satisfaction, full and deepening,
All our need He doth supply,
When the heart has tasted Jesus
Its desires to satisfy.
When the heart has tasted Jesus
Its desires to satisfy.

3 There is always something over,
When we share in all His love;
Unplumbed depths still lie beneath us,
Unscaled heights rise far above.
Human lips can never utter
All His wondrous tenderness.
We can only praise and wonder
And His Name forever bless.
We can only praise and wonder
And His Name forever bless.

We really experience the riches of the Lord when we live in the reality of the Body of Christ - which I have surely experienced during these last 8 months. When we share the riches of Christ with others, we get back more riches! That exchange of riches does something eternal between us. It is too marvelous - and inexhaustible. We will never reach the end of these riches and will be enjoying them for eternity!

Well, I best be going to bed - I still somehow wake up very early.
Much love to you all,
Joanne

Finally heard from Brigham and Women's Hospital

I just have a moment as I am actually going out this afternoon to a friend's home from Westgate Christian Academy where I worked for many years. I am kind of excited to be going out - it does get lonely at home by myself at times. To think I used to yearn for alone time....the Lord has a kind of sense of humor - kind of like the quail that the children of Israel longed for and complained about - they got tons and they became loathesome to them - seems that only Christ can satisfy.

Here's a great hymn about how only Christ can satisfy:

O Christ, in Thee my soul hath found,
And found in Thee alone,
The peace, the joy I sought so long,
The bliss till now unknown.

Refrain:
Now none but Christ can satisfy,
None other name for me;
There's love, and life, and lasting joy,
Lord Jesus, found in Thee.

I sighed for rest and happiness,
I yearned for them, not Thee;
But while I passed my Saviour by,
His love laid hold on me.

I tried the broken cisterns, Lord,
But ah! the waters failed!
E'en as I stooped to drink they'd fled,
And mocked me as I wailed.

The pleasures lost I sadly mourned,
But never wept for Thee,
Till grace the sightless eyes received,
Thy loveliness to see.

My favorite line is - while I passed my Saviour by, His love laid hold on me! Hallelujah!

Oh yes, about the surgery....
The surgery to remove the IP port is scheduled for December 20 at 7:30 am. The procedure should take 30 minutes with 2 hours in recovery. Most patients really have little difficulty with this surgery - which is great for me to hear since the word surgery surely brings up memories I'd like to forget...

I must go now - I appreciate your continued prayers as the Lord leads each one of you. May He continue to satisfy you all today.
Joanne

Finding rest

These days since the chemotherapy has ended, I have been hoping for a quick resurgence of energy - but have not really experienced the immediacy I had hoped for. I have found that I need to depend helplessly on the Lord each day and not on that energy surge which seems so fleeting at times. I discovered a hymn by Margaret E. Barber - the verses were a real comfort to me:

Deep down into the depths of this Thy Name,
My God, I sink and dwell in calm delight;
Thou art enough however long the day,
Thou art enough however dark the night.

Thou art my God - the All-Sufficient One,
Thou canst create for me whate'er I lack;
Thy mighty hand has strewn the lonely track
With miracles of love and tender care.

For me, Thy trusting one, My God I dare
Once more to fling myself upon Thy breast,
And there adore Thy ways in faith's deep rest,
And there adore Thy ways in faith's quiet rest.

Isn't this a marvelous hymn? Faith offers a deep, quiet rest. I am so thankful for that. Also there is a depth in the Lord's name that we can sink and dwell in! These days I have been dwelling in my considerations about myself - there is no calm delight there - only anxiety. How wonderful to turn to the Author and Perfecter of our faith to be strengthened, nourished and encouraged. Let us all just fling ourselves upon His tender, loving breast!

Since I have been moving around more (up and down the stairs etc.) I have been having a lot of joint pain - I can't really take anything for the pain since I am also taking a blood thinner - so, please pray for more grace! Also please pray for the Lord's leading about which vitamins and nutritional path I should take - I have been receiving a lot of advice from people as well as reading books and want to follow the Lord's leading in this matter.

Yesterday I thought I would tackle the unpaired socks in my room - however, soon I was overwhelmed with probably over one hundred single socks - I spread them out all over my bed and then just had to lie down! I can't believe I had so many - it was amazing. I just separated them into darks and whites and put them in bags...to deal with another day.

I still haven't heard from the Nurse about the surgery - I will call her again today.

Thank you all for your sustaining prayers - may we all dive into Christ, our All-Sufficient One!

Much Love,
Joanne