Hello everyone,
This will be a packed week. My mom is still in the rehab facility, Clark House in Westwood MA. They are keeping her there while they watch to see if the UTI is completely gone so they can begin giving her coumadin again. She seems okay at times but rather scared and anxious. I was able to pray for her which I think helped her calm down. Thusday, Oct 2 I have a fine needle biopsy of the nodule on the thyroid. As I HATE needles, I hope this will not be too traumatic. Friday begins the clinical trial drug E7389 (eribulin mesylate). Please pray that all goes well - not much side effects and lots of dead cancer cells! I must go to bed - my eyelids are closing - I will post more tomorrow. Love you all, Joanne
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Next round of treatment and the Jubilee
Hi Everyone,
I finally have an idea of what is happening next with the treatment. I have decided to do the clinical trial - even though I have to stop the herbs - I can still take nutritional supplements like vitamins - which I am going to continue to take. I have to go to Dana-Farber on September 26 for a CT scan, EKG and blood work as well as meet with Dr. Berlin and the research nurses about the trial. The first infusion will be on October 3rd. I have two weeks of infusion and one week off. Since this is a clinical trial, the side effects are not well known - but there is a list - the major ones that are the most common are fatigue, low white blood cell count and nausea. Other reported side effects include hair loss--so my "gorgeous" curls might have to go. I am still planning to work at school but may have to wear a mask and also may be kind of tired some days. On October 9, I have the thyroid aspiration scheduled (biopsy of the nodule). Please pray for me - as I have told the Lord, I am not really brave and long needles going into my neck can cause a bit of panic.....
My mom is still suffering from much pain due to the shingles. She is getting worn out and seems to think it is her fault. The construction for her "room" downstairs is not complete yet and she has to climb the stairs which is very, very painful. Her doctor prescribed a stronger pain med which hopefully will help her.
Recently my daughter asked me why the Lord allows so many things to happen to us at once - she wondered why they can't be staggered with a brief respite in between. This is a reasonable question. I have often asked the Lord "What can You gain if you crush me altogether?" Then this week I read something really quite wonderful about the Jubilee. In case you don't know what the Jubilee is, here are some verses from Leviticus 25:8-17 which describe it:
Leviticus 25 : 8 ---- Leviticus 25 : 17
8 And you shall count off seven Sabbaths of years to yourself, seven times seven years, so that you have the time of seven Sabbaths of years, that is, forty-nine years.
9 Then you shall sound aloud the ram's horn in the seventh month on the tenth day of the month; on the Day of Expiation you shall sound the trumpet throughout all your land.
10 And you shall sanctify the fiftieth year, and proclaim liberty throughout the land to all its inhabitants. It shall be a jubilee for you; and each of you shall return to his possession, and each of you shall return to his family.
11 The fiftieth year shall be a jubilee for you; you shall not sow nor reap its aftergrowth nor gather from its unpruned vines.
12 For it is a jubilee; it shall be holy to you. You shall eat its produce out of the field.
13 In this year of jubilee each one of you shall return to his possession.
14 And if you sell anything to your fellow countryman or buy from the hand of your fellow countryman, you shall not wrong one another.
15 According to the number of years after the jubilee you shall buy from your fellow countryman; according to the number of crop years remaining he shall sell to you.
16 According to the extent of the years you shall increase its price, and according to the fewness of the years you shall diminish its price; for it is the number of crop years that he sells to you.
17 And you shall not wrong one another, but you shall fear your God; for I am Jehovah your God.
Essentially, the jubilee, or the 50th year, was a special year in which all the slaves were to be set free and all of God's people would return to their possession. Then in Isaiah 61:1-2 the acceptable year of the Lord is mentioned. This year is the Jubilee year. Then in Luke 4, the Lord Jesus says "18 "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to announce the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to send away in release those who are oppressed,
19 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, the year of jubilee.''
20 And when He rolled up the scroll and gave it back to the attendant, He sat down. And the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on Him.
21 And He began to say to them, Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.
I realized that the Jubilee was not just for the children of Israel - is not just historical - but as the Lord Jesus said - it has been fulfilled in Him. He is the Jubilee. Only when we receive the Lord jesus as the real jubilee in us can we be delivered from the bondage of sin and Satan to have real freedom and rest. I read something from an outline on the Jubilee published in the Crystallization-Study of the Gospel of Luke (Living Stream Ministry). This was quite encouraging and enlightening to me:
The reality of the Jubilee is the Lord Jesus. If I am found in Him, I am released from prison, set free from whatever enslaves me and also I have my inheritance, my portion. So the Jubilee is not an event but a Person. In order to enter into the reality of the Jubilee we need to spend time with the Lord in the Word. I pray that we all can enter into this reality. If we set our being absolutely upon Him, and not upon anything else, then we will not be disappointed. All those things enslave us. Only the Lord Jesus sets us free.
Here is a wonderful hymn that I enjoy so much:
There is a song by Michael Card Jubilee - which is also quite wonderful
The Lord provided for a time for the slaves to be set free
For the debts to all be cancelled so his chosen ones could see
His deep desire was for forgiveness, he longed to see their liberty
And his yearning was embodied in the year of jubilee
Jubilee, Jubilee
Jesus is the Jubilee
Debts forgiven, Slaves set free
Jesus is our Jubilee
At the Lord’s appointed time, his deep desire became a man
The heart of all true jubilation and with joy we understand
In his voice we hear a trumpet sound that tells us we are free
He is the incarnation of the year of jubilee
Jubilee, Jubilee
Jesus is the Jubilee
Debts forgiven, Slaves set free
Jesus is our Jubilee
To be so completely guilty and given over to despair
To look into your Judge’s face and find a Savior there
Jubilee, Jubilee
Jesus is the Jubilee
Debts forgiven, Slaves set free
Jesus is our Jubilee
So enjoy the glorious freedom we have in the person of Christ today!
Much love,
Joanne
I finally have an idea of what is happening next with the treatment. I have decided to do the clinical trial - even though I have to stop the herbs - I can still take nutritional supplements like vitamins - which I am going to continue to take. I have to go to Dana-Farber on September 26 for a CT scan, EKG and blood work as well as meet with Dr. Berlin and the research nurses about the trial. The first infusion will be on October 3rd. I have two weeks of infusion and one week off. Since this is a clinical trial, the side effects are not well known - but there is a list - the major ones that are the most common are fatigue, low white blood cell count and nausea. Other reported side effects include hair loss--so my "gorgeous" curls might have to go. I am still planning to work at school but may have to wear a mask and also may be kind of tired some days. On October 9, I have the thyroid aspiration scheduled (biopsy of the nodule). Please pray for me - as I have told the Lord, I am not really brave and long needles going into my neck can cause a bit of panic.....
My mom is still suffering from much pain due to the shingles. She is getting worn out and seems to think it is her fault. The construction for her "room" downstairs is not complete yet and she has to climb the stairs which is very, very painful. Her doctor prescribed a stronger pain med which hopefully will help her.
Recently my daughter asked me why the Lord allows so many things to happen to us at once - she wondered why they can't be staggered with a brief respite in between. This is a reasonable question. I have often asked the Lord "What can You gain if you crush me altogether?" Then this week I read something really quite wonderful about the Jubilee. In case you don't know what the Jubilee is, here are some verses from Leviticus 25:8-17 which describe it:
Leviticus 25 : 8 ---- Leviticus 25 : 17
8 And you shall count off seven Sabbaths of years to yourself, seven times seven years, so that you have the time of seven Sabbaths of years, that is, forty-nine years.
9 Then you shall sound aloud the ram's horn in the seventh month on the tenth day of the month; on the Day of Expiation you shall sound the trumpet throughout all your land.
10 And you shall sanctify the fiftieth year, and proclaim liberty throughout the land to all its inhabitants. It shall be a jubilee for you; and each of you shall return to his possession, and each of you shall return to his family.
11 The fiftieth year shall be a jubilee for you; you shall not sow nor reap its aftergrowth nor gather from its unpruned vines.
12 For it is a jubilee; it shall be holy to you. You shall eat its produce out of the field.
13 In this year of jubilee each one of you shall return to his possession.
14 And if you sell anything to your fellow countryman or buy from the hand of your fellow countryman, you shall not wrong one another.
15 According to the number of years after the jubilee you shall buy from your fellow countryman; according to the number of crop years remaining he shall sell to you.
16 According to the extent of the years you shall increase its price, and according to the fewness of the years you shall diminish its price; for it is the number of crop years that he sells to you.
17 And you shall not wrong one another, but you shall fear your God; for I am Jehovah your God.
Essentially, the jubilee, or the 50th year, was a special year in which all the slaves were to be set free and all of God's people would return to their possession. Then in Isaiah 61:1-2 the acceptable year of the Lord is mentioned. This year is the Jubilee year. Then in Luke 4, the Lord Jesus says "18 "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to announce the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to send away in release those who are oppressed,
19 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, the year of jubilee.''
20 And when He rolled up the scroll and gave it back to the attendant, He sat down. And the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on Him.
21 And He began to say to them, Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.
I realized that the Jubilee was not just for the children of Israel - is not just historical - but as the Lord Jesus said - it has been fulfilled in Him. He is the Jubilee. Only when we receive the Lord jesus as the real jubilee in us can we be delivered from the bondage of sin and Satan to have real freedom and rest. I read something from an outline on the Jubilee published in the Crystallization-Study of the Gospel of Luke (Living Stream Ministry). This was quite encouraging and enlightening to me:
"Jubilee means having no worry or anxiety, no concern or care, no lack or shortage, no sickness or calamity, and no problems whatsoever, but rather having all benefits; hence, all things are pleasant and satisfying to our heart, and we are free from anxiety, at ease, excited, and exultant...If our heart is set on any person, thing, or matter other than the Lord, this is idolatry, and the end is wretchedness. If we allow Christ to live in us and we live by Him, everything is to our satisfaction; otherwise, everything is a problem, and nothing is a jubilee. Everything can be satisfying to us only after we have gained the all-inclusive Christ as our enjoyment; it is not outward persons, matters, or things, but Christ within us who enables us to be calm and free of worries as we face all kinds of situations."
The reality of the Jubilee is the Lord Jesus. If I am found in Him, I am released from prison, set free from whatever enslaves me and also I have my inheritance, my portion. So the Jubilee is not an event but a Person. In order to enter into the reality of the Jubilee we need to spend time with the Lord in the Word. I pray that we all can enter into this reality. If we set our being absolutely upon Him, and not upon anything else, then we will not be disappointed. All those things enslave us. Only the Lord Jesus sets us free.
Here is a wonderful hymn that I enjoy so much:
1. Once I was bound by sin’s galling fetters;
Chained like a slave, I struggled in vain.
But I received a glorious freedom,
When Jesus broke my fetters in twain.
Refrain
Glorious freedom! Wonderful freedom!
No more in chains of sin I repine!
Jesus the glorious Emancipator—
Now and forever He shall be mine.
2. Freedom from all the carnal affections;
Freedom from envy, hatred and strife;
Freedom from vain and worldly ambitions;
Freedom from all that saddened my life!
Refrain
3. Freedom from pride and all sinful follies;
Freedom from love and glitter of gold;
Freedom from evil temper and anger;
Glorious freedom, rapture untold!
Refrain
4. Freedom from fear with all of its torments;
Freedom from care with all of its pain;
Freedom in Christ, my blessèd Redeemer—
He Who has rent my fetters in twain.
Refrain
There is a song by Michael Card Jubilee - which is also quite wonderful
The Lord provided for a time for the slaves to be set free
For the debts to all be cancelled so his chosen ones could see
His deep desire was for forgiveness, he longed to see their liberty
And his yearning was embodied in the year of jubilee
Jubilee, Jubilee
Jesus is the Jubilee
Debts forgiven, Slaves set free
Jesus is our Jubilee
At the Lord’s appointed time, his deep desire became a man
The heart of all true jubilation and with joy we understand
In his voice we hear a trumpet sound that tells us we are free
He is the incarnation of the year of jubilee
Jubilee, Jubilee
Jesus is the Jubilee
Debts forgiven, Slaves set free
Jesus is our Jubilee
To be so completely guilty and given over to despair
To look into your Judge’s face and find a Savior there
Jubilee, Jubilee
Jesus is the Jubilee
Debts forgiven, Slaves set free
Jesus is our Jubilee
So enjoy the glorious freedom we have in the person of Christ today!
Much love,
Joanne
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
CA-125, thyroid and the choragus
Hi Everyone,
I got the results of the CA-125 blood test - it is up - to 59. Dr. Berlin hasn't called about what to do next, so I am going to call her today. The thyroid ultrasound showed growths that need to be biopsied, which will happen on October 9 at 8:45 am. The radiologist did say that the growths didn't look "nasty", so he thought it would be highly unlikely that they are malignant. He also said that it is unlikely that the ovarian cancer would reappear in the thyroid. So I am not worried. I only have a small part of my thyroid left, since most of it was removed about 13 years ago due to nodules and growths which were not malignant. Also, last Friday, my mom came to live with us - she has a bad case of shingles and is in a lot of pain right now. But overall I am glad she is with us. We are creating a room and bathroom for her downstairs so she won't have to use the stairs.
This summer and now fall have been full of unexpected challenges. I am reminded of the verse in Philippians 1:19:
19 For I know that for me this will turn out to salvation through your petition and the bountiful supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ,
Footnote 19-3: The Greek word refers to the supplying of all the needs of the chorus by the choragus, the leader of the chorus. The bountiful supply of the all-inclusive Spirit enabled Paul to live and magnify Christ in his sufferings for Him.
Here is an excerpt from General Sketch of the New Testament in the Light of Christ and the Church, A - Part 2: Romans through Philemon.
It is so wonderful that today we have the Spirit as the choragus to meet all our needs with the bountiful supply.
Here's a great hymn about the supply of the Spirit. It has many verses and can be a great way to praise the Lord by praying each of the verses:
1 Gracious Lord, Thy name “I AM” is,
Precious name, how rich and full ‘tis,
All-inclusive, faithful too ‘tis-
All we need, Thou art!
2 Thou the Son, the Father in Thee,
As the Spirit now indwell me,
That the riches of Thyself we
May experience.
3 Thou the Temple for God’s dwelling,
Thou the Father’s life e’er telling;
We in Thee with joy excelling
Face to face see Him.
4 Thou the Lamb and Thou the Bridegroom,
For the bride Thou sufferedst sin’s doom,
Wounded, crucified in our room;
Thus we find our rest.
5 Thou art wisdom and the way, Lord,
Thou our lives dost plan each day, Lord,
Grace to us Thou dost convey, Lord,
In Thy path to walk.
6 Pure and holy, righteous Thou art,
One with God, well-pleasing His heart,
Thou within to us dost impart
Harmony with God.
7 Thou art life and Thou art light, Lord,
Death hast swallowed, banished night, Lord,
Thou hast quickened, given sight, Lord;
We are now set free.
8 Thou art resurrection power,
Thou the conqu’ror in hell’s hour;
Thou dost us with might empower
Over all to reign.
9 Living water, food supply, Lord,
Thou Thyself art, and didst die, Lord,
All our want to satisfy, Lord;
Now we feast on Thee.
10 Thou the Shepherd and Physician,
Thou hast healed our sick condition;
Comfort, guide, protect-Thy mission;
Thou dost care for us.
11 Priest and King Thou art fore’er, Lord;
Into God we’re brought, and there, Lord,
Thine authority we share, Lord;
What an honored place!
12 Thou our Hope and our Redemption,
Thou wilt change our old creation,
Make of Thee a duplication,
Thus Thyself express.
13 Thou our Joy, our Peace, our Glory;
Truth, and Grace, the Rock, the Life-tree,
Building, Mountain, Sun, and Shield-we
Ne’er can tell it all.
14 What Thou art-eternal, boundless,
Full and perfect, rich, exhaustless-
Meets our need to utter fullness
And from us o’erflows.
Lord, You are eternal, boundless, rich and exhaustless - and You meet our need to utter fullness. Praise You!
Keep praying for wisdom concerning the clinical trial and also for strengthening to apprehend all that is being supplied to us.
Much love,
Joanne
I got the results of the CA-125 blood test - it is up - to 59. Dr. Berlin hasn't called about what to do next, so I am going to call her today. The thyroid ultrasound showed growths that need to be biopsied, which will happen on October 9 at 8:45 am. The radiologist did say that the growths didn't look "nasty", so he thought it would be highly unlikely that they are malignant. He also said that it is unlikely that the ovarian cancer would reappear in the thyroid. So I am not worried. I only have a small part of my thyroid left, since most of it was removed about 13 years ago due to nodules and growths which were not malignant. Also, last Friday, my mom came to live with us - she has a bad case of shingles and is in a lot of pain right now. But overall I am glad she is with us. We are creating a room and bathroom for her downstairs so she won't have to use the stairs.
This summer and now fall have been full of unexpected challenges. I am reminded of the verse in Philippians 1:19:
19 For I know that for me this will turn out to salvation through your petition and the bountiful supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ,
Footnote 19-3: The Greek word refers to the supplying of all the needs of the chorus by the choragus, the leader of the chorus. The bountiful supply of the all-inclusive Spirit enabled Paul to live and magnify Christ in his sufferings for Him.
Here is an excerpt from General Sketch of the New Testament in the Light of Christ and the Church, A - Part 2: Romans through Philemon.
The Bountiful Supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ
Verse 19 of chapter one is another verse which is very precious yet very much neglected by Christians today. This verse speaks of the bountiful supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Conybeare tells us that the Greek word for supply is a technical word, referring to the choragus, the leader of the chorus on the Greek stage. The choragus was responsible to supply all the needs of the members of the chorus. Their clothing, food, musical instruments, and everything they needed was provided by the choragus. Paul used this same word to describe the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Therefore, this word may be rendered as bountiful supply, a supply that meets all our needs.
The term the Spirit of Jesus Christ is richer than the Spirit of God. The Spirit of God at the beginning of the Old Testament was not as rich as the Spirit of Jesus Christ after Pentecost. In the Old Testament times, within the Spirit of Jehovah there were not the elements of the humanity of the Lord Jesus, His suffering in His human life, the effectiveness of His death, and the power of His resurrection. However, on the day of Pentecost the Spirit was poured out from the ascended Christ, and within this Spirit were all these elements.
A cup of plain water contains only the water, but if we add tea, sugar, and other ingredients, the water becomes richer. This is a picture of the bountiful supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ. To speak only of the Spirit of God is not sufficient; today the Spirit of God is the Spirit of Jesus Christ. In this Spirit there is divinity, the heavenly element, and there is also humanity, the suffering of the Lord Jesus in His human life on earth, His crucifixion, and His resurrection.
The Spirit of Jesus Christ may be compared to an all-inclusive dose of medicine. When we take this dose, one element kills germs, another element supplies nourishment, and other elements supply other needs. The reason that Paul could live Christ and magnify Him, the reason he was able to say, “For to me, to live is Christ,” is that he had the bountiful supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ. As a member of the “chorus,” Paul was bountifully supplied by the Choragus. This is the proper meaning of Philippians 1:19.
We also are members of the “chorus,” and the Holy Spirit is the choragus to satisfy all our needs. We are human beings, and within the Spirit is the human nature. We are suffering on the earth, and within Him there is the element of the suffering of human life. We need the cross as our killing element, and within the Spirit there is this element. We also need His resurrection power, and within the Spirit of Jesus Christ there is this power. Whatever we need today is in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. By the bountiful supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ we can live Christ to magnify Him, and we can say, “For to me, to live is Christ.”
It is so wonderful that today we have the Spirit as the choragus to meet all our needs with the bountiful supply.
Here's a great hymn about the supply of the Spirit. It has many verses and can be a great way to praise the Lord by praying each of the verses:
1 Gracious Lord, Thy name “I AM” is,
Precious name, how rich and full ‘tis,
All-inclusive, faithful too ‘tis-
All we need, Thou art!
2 Thou the Son, the Father in Thee,
As the Spirit now indwell me,
That the riches of Thyself we
May experience.
3 Thou the Temple for God’s dwelling,
Thou the Father’s life e’er telling;
We in Thee with joy excelling
Face to face see Him.
4 Thou the Lamb and Thou the Bridegroom,
For the bride Thou sufferedst sin’s doom,
Wounded, crucified in our room;
Thus we find our rest.
5 Thou art wisdom and the way, Lord,
Thou our lives dost plan each day, Lord,
Grace to us Thou dost convey, Lord,
In Thy path to walk.
6 Pure and holy, righteous Thou art,
One with God, well-pleasing His heart,
Thou within to us dost impart
Harmony with God.
7 Thou art life and Thou art light, Lord,
Death hast swallowed, banished night, Lord,
Thou hast quickened, given sight, Lord;
We are now set free.
8 Thou art resurrection power,
Thou the conqu’ror in hell’s hour;
Thou dost us with might empower
Over all to reign.
9 Living water, food supply, Lord,
Thou Thyself art, and didst die, Lord,
All our want to satisfy, Lord;
Now we feast on Thee.
10 Thou the Shepherd and Physician,
Thou hast healed our sick condition;
Comfort, guide, protect-Thy mission;
Thou dost care for us.
11 Priest and King Thou art fore’er, Lord;
Into God we’re brought, and there, Lord,
Thine authority we share, Lord;
What an honored place!
12 Thou our Hope and our Redemption,
Thou wilt change our old creation,
Make of Thee a duplication,
Thus Thyself express.
13 Thou our Joy, our Peace, our Glory;
Truth, and Grace, the Rock, the Life-tree,
Building, Mountain, Sun, and Shield-we
Ne’er can tell it all.
14 What Thou art-eternal, boundless,
Full and perfect, rich, exhaustless-
Meets our need to utter fullness
And from us o’erflows.
Lord, You are eternal, boundless, rich and exhaustless - and You meet our need to utter fullness. Praise You!
Keep praying for wisdom concerning the clinical trial and also for strengthening to apprehend all that is being supplied to us.
Much love,
Joanne
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