Today's chemo

Well, today's chemo at Dana Farber went as expected - the nurse got the needle in on the first try without much pain! - I'm finding that pain is bearable when you don't fight it - a difficult lesson to learn. The protocol is to fill the abdominal cavity with 2 liters (that's right - a large soda bottle) full of saline and add the taxil and then I have to swish it around for 2 hours by what they call "rocking and rolling" every fifteen minutes. I told Missy who sat with me for the event, that I felt like a manatee - so big and bulky - without the benefit of being buoyed up by water. It is uncomfortable at best but doing the job of killing cancer cells is important and necessary work.

Then Dr. Berlin came by and she said that I have had remarkable progress with the chemo and should be very encouraged about how I am doing. She says she remembers when she first met me and can't believe the incredible progress. It was really something - she just launched into this encouraging little talk - which I had whispered to the Lord about yesterday when I was feeling very worn out by all the side effects - I just mentioned to Him that it would be nice to hear if this was all worth it, but I didn't know if I could bring it up because I was feeling so awful. Isaiah 65:24 says: "And it will be that before they call, I will answer; Even while they are speaking, I will hear." This week the teachers at the school where I volunteer as a librarian have brought meals every day - it is perfect timing because I really didn't want to eat this week because of the metal taste, etc. but I just couldn't wait to see what was coming to the door! The Lord is too sweet. The comments and email and prayers and calls have sustained me through today. So I just have a few days of taxil side effects to deal with once the steroid wears off - but Dr. Berlin says that the side effects should be less because the dose is less. We'll see.

The students in a classroom at Holy Name School in West Roxbury have been praying for me - their teacher, a close friend. It is so sweet to know that these little ones are using this rather unpleasant situation to find out that God is approachable and near to us, accessible and dear and One who hears our cries. May their coming to the Lord in prayer be a reality that is woven into the daily fabric of their lives now and always.

I am so blessed to be cared for by all of you. It is most overwhelming.
Much love,
Joanne