Rest

Rest, that much needed and often elusive entity that is so important is something I have been pondering as I lie on my bed trying to do just that - rest. There are the distractions to rest like nausea and aches and thinking about needles.....all of which are rather jarring. I looked up rest in the New Testament and these verses were more specifically about rest - and the source of rest:

Matthew 11:28

28 Come to Me all who toil and are burdened, and I will give you rest.

Hebrews 4:10-11 (actually many of the preceding verses talk about rest)
10 For he who has entered into His rest has himself also rested from his works, as God did from His own.
11 Let us therefore be diligent to enter into that rest lest anyone fall after the same example of disobedience.

While I realize that the rest here is really about ceasing to do things for God according to the law - I think there is some small application to my situation - that of trying to rest, trying to stop my mind from running through all the lists of anxious thoughts. Since I have time to think and consider and analyze, I often find my mind doing just that. I realized that when I do this - I am taking on the responsibility of fulfilling the law - which of course causes the rest to disappear -
so when the thoughts come about whether I am gaining the Lord enough or loving Him enough or seeking Him enough through all this, instead of getting geared up to try to be more, I realized that I need to turn to Him to enter into all that He has done and will do and has ordained from the foundation of the world and pray that all that He desires would be accomplished in me by His life in me. It is then that I enter into His rest. Turning to Him last night was just a whisper of O Lord Jesus I need You. It continues to be this today. So easy and simple and enterable.

Side effects are mounting but I am going to be a bit more diligent about taking meds to help with those. I am trying to drink. Please pray that I stay hydrated - it is tough when everything tastes like metal. Please pray that the chemo destroys the cancer and doesn't harm the kidneys and other cells.

Thank you all so much for your comments, your care, your prayers and love. They sustain me day by day and are such an encouragement. It is overwhelming.

Much love,
Joanne