Prayer Request

Hi everyone,
The neupogen medication that boosts my white blood cells is also making my bones ache really terribly. Please pray that I am able to get some relief from this pain - I didn't sleep more than a few minutes every hour last night. This is very difficult. Also please pray for my body's reaction to the new chemo - it seems very extreme and I hope I will be able to tolerate it. The Lord knows. I am still dealing with the side effects of the chemo and it is exhausting. I do find refuge in calling on the Lord and am so encouraged by your notes and prayers.
Much love,
Joanne

no IP chemo today

When I went to Dana Farber today and they did the blood work, my white blood cell count was too low to do anymore chemo and I was dehydrated and low on magnesium so I just had to be hydrated for a couple of hours. I have to take an antibiotic too to make sure that I don't get any infections. My appetite is returning somewhat although everything tastes like metal! I enjoy watching cooking shows since I can cook and eat vicariously! The next round of chemo is scheduled for september 13 but that may change to a couple of days later - since they decided not to do the second part of the taxol today. Hopefully I will be able to rest - I have been getting hit with hot flashes and soaking wet sweats at night which is always a reason to wake up. Yesterday I was so uncomfortable that all I could do was call on the Lord and I found some comfort and rest.

I'm going to try to rest now. God is faithful!
Much love to all,
Joanne

hard to sleep

I have been having a hard time sleeping - it seems that I am having night sweats, hot flashes, and all the intestinal troubles that come with chemo all at the same time. So I haven't really been able to sleep well or much at all. Please pray for this and tomorrow's round of taxol - I can't imagine feeling worse that I feel right now - so Lord, strengthen me to take today's portion of grace.

I don't have much energy to write too much but know that I am sustained by the prayers of everyone. I will write more later if I am able.

Joanne

Update

I am feeling kind of awful due to the first part of the chemo round - I have the second part on Thursday - 2 hours of IP Taxol (they fill my abdominal cavity with the chemo. I had IP cisplatin last Saturday - it is uncomfortable - makes me feel very full and also the nurses had a hard time getting the needle into the port. Paul has a cold which is very dangerous for me and isolating for him -so please pray that I won't be getting any infections and that he will heal quickly. This chemo protocol really surpresses the white blood cell count so I have to have 11 injections of neupegen during the 21 days - Paul is the needle giver - hence the concern about the infection potential. I will be having 4 rounds of this new chemo which will bring me into the beginning of November - a bit longer than I had thought. So perhaps no apple picking this year - I should still be able to make a pumpkin pie I hope! Please pray for all the side effects etc. of all the drugs and that this chemo will make contact with and destroy all the cancer cells that still exist. Lamentations 3:22-23: 22 It is Jehovah's lovingkindness that we are not consumed, For His compassions do not fail; 23 They are new every morning;

THank you Lord for your new compassions and mercy today.

Gotta go - much love,
Joanne

Thanks for all the encouragement

I am still in the midst of this round of chemo-I go back to Dana Farber today for hydration and then back again on Thursday for IP administered (into the abdomen)Taxol. I have to battle the side effects like before and will have probably one good week in the 3 week round. Then it starts over again in September on the 13. The doctors say that I will have 4 rounds of this IP chemo. I am feeling the yuckiness of post chemo nausea - so I'm trying to down saltines and drink sips of water.

Because of my religious upbringing, I had formed a thought about God in my head that He was not a sympathetic God but one who was always measuring us - to see how we did and then meet out the appropriate reward or punishment - all the time watching and measuring. I never knew or realized that He is also one who is ministering all that we need to fulfill whatever the situation before us requires. I spent a good deal of my Christian life trying to do what God wanted but always feeling that I had fallen short. Now comes this cancer. I do not have any idea of what to do on many levels and I am fully aware of my lack of faith, my fear, my anxieties etc. - all of which are not a very good testimony of my faith in Christ which is also real. So this past week prior to the chemo, people came over to visit with me - some I see regularly, and others who I hadn't seen for a long time. They came and helped me turn my focus from my worries to take note of all that the Lord had done. Even yesterday an old, close friend was driving by and she had the strong sense to come and see me. It was such a treat to my soul to see her. Her visit and the visits and care from others have made Hebrews 4:15-16 so real to me: For we do not have a High Priest who cannot be touched with the feeling of our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all respects like us, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come forward with boldness to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace for timely help.
The grace and mercy for timely help came in the voices, notes, and visits of so many dear ones. And the Lord did not blame me for my weakness, He carried me through it.

I heard this Psalm yesterday when I was coming home from the hospital. David wrote it when he was in a cave - probably hiding from Saul - at least he was not in a very pleasant situation - yet out of his spirit poured forth this praising psalm. I hope you enjoy it.

Psalms
CHAPTER 103

1 Bless Jehovah, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
2 Bless Jehovah, O my soul; And do not forget all His benefits:
3 He pardons all your iniquities; He heals all your diseases;
4 He redeems your life from the pit; He crowns you with lovingkindness and compassions;
5 He satisfies the prime of your life with good, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
6 Jehovah executes righteous acts, And judgments for all who are oppressed.
7 He made His ways known to Moses; His acts, to the children of Israel.
8 Jehovah is compassionate and gracious, Long-suffering and abundant in lovingkindness.
9 He will not always contend with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever.
10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor has He recompensed us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness upon those who fear Him.
12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
13 As compassionate as a father is toward his children, So compassionate is Jehovah toward those who fear Him.
14 For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.
15 Man - his days are like grass; He flourishes like a field flower:
16 For the wind passes over it, and it is no more; And its own place knows of it no longer.
17 But Jehovah's lovingkindness is from eternity Unto eternity upon those who fear Him, And His righteousness is to the children's children;
18 To those who keep His covenant And remember His precepts so as to do them.
19 Jehovah has established His throne in the heavens, And His kingdom rules over all.
20 Bless Jehovah, you His angels, Who are mighty in strength to perform His word, By obeying the voice of His word.
21 Bless Jehovah, all you His hosts, You His ministers who execute His will.
22 Bless Jehovah, all you His works, In all places of His dominion. Bless Jehovah, O my soul.

While I have a bit of strength left, I thought I would share these verses of enjoyment with you - I hope it doesn't sound too "preachy", please accept it as an offering of a tasty morsel of nourishing food that is supplying me through a rather difficult time.

Love you all,
Joanne

Prayer Requests for this week

Hi Everyone,
This week my two sons Stephen and Andrew left for school - I will miss them terribly. They have been so dear and such a big help this summer.

I started having bleeding yesterday which may have been because of trying to help Andrew pack (which required a lot of bending at the waist). I am trying to lay low and take it easy.

Please pray about the new chemo round this week. The new drug for the Interperitoneal chemo has a lot of very serious side effects - like kidney failure, deafness, nausea, vomiting, etc. In order to avoid the kidney problems, I have to drink 2-3 liters of water each day during and after the treatment. I also have to get another injection of neupegen (sp!) which stimulates the bone marrow to produce more blood cells - and this shot causes pain in the bones. It also can cause an allergic reaction so please pray that everything goes as it should and that I am not too overcome by pain and nausea and that I would not have any kind of secondary infection. Also, that I would not become dehydrated due to nausea.

I am worried as I face this round of chemo but I am so thankful that this protocol is available to me.

I have been sustained by all your prayers - they bring the supply to face each day. I'm going to rest now. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

Joanne

Chemo next week and Jehovah-Shalom

I spoke with an oncology nurse about the interperitoneal chemo treatments which begin next week. These rounds are different from the IV chemo I have been receiving. They start in the hospital and involve getting the IV chemo over a 24 hour period and then the chemo in the abdominal cavity and then getting hydrated - followed by another round of the abdominal chemo 5 days later. I also will need to have 11 shots during the round to stimulate the bone marrow to produce white blood cells. I will be dangerously low and susceptible to infection 10-14 days following the chemo. I am praying about resting in the Lord but the anxiety keeps creeping in.
I am so thankful to the Lord that I am able to get this chemo - it is very effective in battling the cancer but I am worried about the unknown side effects - although God who inhabits eternity is there already! Another item for prayer is that everyone in the house is sick with a cold or virus - please pray that I am able to stay infection free so that I can continue with the chemo schedule.

So, this is the next step of the journey - thank you all for continuing to pray that the chemo will get all the microscopic cancer cells and that there will not be any secondary infection.

One of the names of God in the Bible is Jehovah Shalom or the Lord my peace. I am praying that I can enter into the reality of this name of God and be filled with peace. This name of God was revealed to Gideon. He was called by God to do battle against the Midianites, who were an oppressive and powerful people. Here are the verses (Judges 6:23-24a) which describe the Lord's appearing to him:
23 And Jehovah said to him, Peace be with you. Do not be afraid; you shall not die.
24 Then Gideon built an altar there to Jehovah, and he called it Jehovah-shalom.

My worries, like the Midianites, can only be defeated by Jehovah-Shalom. Oh Lord, help us all to enter into the reality of this name.

Much love,
Joanne

Post Operative Visit with a few edits

Hi Everyone,
I just want to correct a couple of items Stephen put into the blog yesterday - there was an opening in the incision but it was not infected. The opening was very small - about the size of a pea - so it will close and is closing up - there was no redness around the opening - so I am certain there was not infection. I cleaned it out once and then there was a scab over it so I am not sure how to proceed. I will ask the nurse on Tuesday.

I will be having chemotherapy on August 23-25 - as an in-patient at Brigham and Women's. They will be doing both types of chemo at that time - the interperitoneal - which goes into the abdominal cavity directly and also the IV - which I have been having. The IP chemo requires that I be in the hospital for its administration. Please pray for this chemo treatment that it will reach all the tiny tumors (1-2mm) that the doctors were unable to remove surgically - and for me that I am not overcome with anxiety about it.

I praise the Lord for so much answered prayer - thank you all for your faithful and diligent prayer for all the details of the surgery - the Lord surely did answer and so we believe that this is His will. I pray that through all this I gain Him more and more each day. Sometimes I worry that I am not gaining the Lord because I get so focused on my physical status.

Yesterday I was reminded of this verse from Psalms 34. 8 Taste and see that Jehovah is good; Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.

It is interesting that the tasting of Jehovah is coupled with taking refuge in Him. These days I have taken refuge in Him - I cannot find refuge elsewhere. I was encouraged to see that this is also a tasting of the Lord - so I can testify that He is good!

Much love to all of you -
Joanne

Post-Operative Visit

On Friday Mom visited Dr. Berkowitz at Dana Farber as a post-operative follow up. He was over two hours late so it was a challenging wait. He looked at Mom's wound and noted that a small area was open. He cleaned it out and commented that so much of the wound had closed so there was no way to pack it with either gauze or sponges. The woumd could be treated with a cue tip which Mom was to use 3-4 times a day on her own. Mom was terrified of this idea, but Dr. Berkowitz insisted that she could do it and even had her do it right in the exam room. She only stuck the cue tip in a short distance, however, so Dr. Berkowitz encouraged her to go deeper. Mom reluctantly complied, but successfully completed the process.

Back home Mom is still having trouble with her digestive tract. Dr. Berkowitz said her bowels look fine, but the analgesics she is taking tend to slow her bowels down making elimination difficult.

The next major step in treatment will be chemotherapy on the 23rd. This will be more extensive as she now will be getting an additional dose through the IP catheter into her abdomen.

Stephen Juraschek

Monday Update

This past week Mom has been home, moving around the house, recuperating from surgery. On Friday she had her staples out. There was a little concern that this was premature, but there is no infection and taking the staples out should help prevent this. On Monday Mom visited a palliative care clinic at Dana Farber. She was referred there by Dr. Berkowitz. They gave Mom a better pain regimen and pointed out that her perscription of Motrin for pain was a mistake - she was on enough blood thinner with the Lovenox and did not need more. Otherwise Mom is ok. Pain in her lower back, air in her abdomen, pain from the incision, and hot flashes from the hysterectomy are fatiguing and rob her of sleep. This Friday she will be seeing Dr. Berkowitz and will attempt to ask if she can be switched from Lovenox to Coumadin, an alternative, oral blood thinner.

Stephen