Thanks for all the encouragement

I am still in the midst of this round of chemo-I go back to Dana Farber today for hydration and then back again on Thursday for IP administered (into the abdomen)Taxol. I have to battle the side effects like before and will have probably one good week in the 3 week round. Then it starts over again in September on the 13. The doctors say that I will have 4 rounds of this IP chemo. I am feeling the yuckiness of post chemo nausea - so I'm trying to down saltines and drink sips of water.

Because of my religious upbringing, I had formed a thought about God in my head that He was not a sympathetic God but one who was always measuring us - to see how we did and then meet out the appropriate reward or punishment - all the time watching and measuring. I never knew or realized that He is also one who is ministering all that we need to fulfill whatever the situation before us requires. I spent a good deal of my Christian life trying to do what God wanted but always feeling that I had fallen short. Now comes this cancer. I do not have any idea of what to do on many levels and I am fully aware of my lack of faith, my fear, my anxieties etc. - all of which are not a very good testimony of my faith in Christ which is also real. So this past week prior to the chemo, people came over to visit with me - some I see regularly, and others who I hadn't seen for a long time. They came and helped me turn my focus from my worries to take note of all that the Lord had done. Even yesterday an old, close friend was driving by and she had the strong sense to come and see me. It was such a treat to my soul to see her. Her visit and the visits and care from others have made Hebrews 4:15-16 so real to me: For we do not have a High Priest who cannot be touched with the feeling of our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all respects like us, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come forward with boldness to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace for timely help.
The grace and mercy for timely help came in the voices, notes, and visits of so many dear ones. And the Lord did not blame me for my weakness, He carried me through it.

I heard this Psalm yesterday when I was coming home from the hospital. David wrote it when he was in a cave - probably hiding from Saul - at least he was not in a very pleasant situation - yet out of his spirit poured forth this praising psalm. I hope you enjoy it.

Psalms
CHAPTER 103

1 Bless Jehovah, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
2 Bless Jehovah, O my soul; And do not forget all His benefits:
3 He pardons all your iniquities; He heals all your diseases;
4 He redeems your life from the pit; He crowns you with lovingkindness and compassions;
5 He satisfies the prime of your life with good, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
6 Jehovah executes righteous acts, And judgments for all who are oppressed.
7 He made His ways known to Moses; His acts, to the children of Israel.
8 Jehovah is compassionate and gracious, Long-suffering and abundant in lovingkindness.
9 He will not always contend with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever.
10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor has He recompensed us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness upon those who fear Him.
12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
13 As compassionate as a father is toward his children, So compassionate is Jehovah toward those who fear Him.
14 For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.
15 Man - his days are like grass; He flourishes like a field flower:
16 For the wind passes over it, and it is no more; And its own place knows of it no longer.
17 But Jehovah's lovingkindness is from eternity Unto eternity upon those who fear Him, And His righteousness is to the children's children;
18 To those who keep His covenant And remember His precepts so as to do them.
19 Jehovah has established His throne in the heavens, And His kingdom rules over all.
20 Bless Jehovah, you His angels, Who are mighty in strength to perform His word, By obeying the voice of His word.
21 Bless Jehovah, all you His hosts, You His ministers who execute His will.
22 Bless Jehovah, all you His works, In all places of His dominion. Bless Jehovah, O my soul.

While I have a bit of strength left, I thought I would share these verses of enjoyment with you - I hope it doesn't sound too "preachy", please accept it as an offering of a tasty morsel of nourishing food that is supplying me through a rather difficult time.

Love you all,
Joanne