Hungering and Thirsting

Hello everyone,
I have been slowly recovering - I stopped taking the pain meds and have been experiencing pain - sometimes it is really uncomfortable. This forces me to lie down and rest, so it is not a totally negative thing. Please pray for the continued healing of all those incisions and that I will be restricted from lifting or doing anything strenuous - and rest. Also, this past week a lot of work was done on the house (to repair flooding damage) and there is a lot of dust around which causes coughing...which causes pain. We found some air purifiers and have them running so this will help. Also no one has been working for the past few days so the dust has settled, so to speak.

Since the surgery I have been very thirsty, waking up many times during the night with parched lips and dry throat. I'm not sure why - but this morning the spiritual significance of this state of being really struck me. I was reminded of the scene in John 7:37-39:

37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink.

38 He who believes into Me, as the Scripture said, out of his innermost being shall flow rivers of living water.

39 But this He said concerning the Spirit, whom those who believed into Him were about to receive; for the Spirit was not yet, because Jesus had not yet been glorified.

The scene prior to Jesus' speaking these words was that the Feast of Tabernacles was near. This feast, in Exodus 23:16 is the last feast of the year, the feast of ingathering to celebrate the labor of the field. It was the culminating feast of the year. After the full harvest of their crops, the Jewish people observed the Feast of Tabernacles to worship God and enjoy what they had reaped (Deut. 16:13-15). Hence, this feast signifies the completion, achievement, and success in man's career, man's study, and other matters of human life, including religion, with the joy and enjoyment thereof. At the end of such a feast, which had such a background, Christ cried out the promise of the rivers of living water, which will satisfy man's expectation for eternity (vv. 37-39). (from the footnote for 7:2.) The phrase in verse 37, on the last day, has this significance:

Footnote 37-1 The last day here signifies that all the enjoyment of any success in the human life will end. There is a "last day" to every kind of material thing of the physical life.


What really touched me is that Jesus is there at the last day, at the end of all the enjoyment of any success, not condemning us for our enjoyment, but realizing that we will be thirsty and encouraging us to come to Him to drink. He knows our condition. I read the Life STudy of the Gospel of John, message 17 and found that this case in John is the 6th case and is a continuation of the 5th - which is Jesus meeting the needs of the hungry in John 6. Here is a most encouraging excerpt from that message:

The sixth case is a continuation of the fifth case, because the matter of food is related to water. In this connection, there is also another contrast. In the scene of the fifth case, there was the feast of the Passover. In the scene of this case in chapter seven, there is the feast of Tabernacles. The feast of the Passover is the first of the annual Jewish feasts, and the feast of Tabernacles is the last (Lev. 23:5, 34). The feast of the Passover, as the first feast of the year, implies the beginning of man’s life (cf. Exo. 12:2-3, 6), which involves man’s seeking for satisfaction and results in man’s hunger. The feast of Tabernacles, as the last feast of the year, implies the completion and success of man’s life (cf. Exo. 23:16), which will end and result in man’s thirst. In the scene of the feast of the Passover, the Lord presented Himself as the bread of life, which satisfies man’s hunger. In the scene of the feast of Tabernacles, the Lord promised that He would flow forth the living water, which quenches man’s thirst.

The feast of the Passover occurred early in the year, when the people were working and laboring hard. The case of the feeding of the five thousand finds the people working to fill their hunger, but failing to be satisfied. They labored, they worked, they sought something to satisfy, but they failed. The feast of Tabernacles, on the contrary, occurred at a time when the harvest was over. The people had reaped the corn and the wine (Deut. 16:13-14). Everything of the harvest had been reaped, and the people were to come together at the feast of Tabernacles and enjoy everything with their families and even with their servants. We must realize that during the feast of Tabernacles the people do not labor because the work is over, the crop has been reaped, and the corn and wine have been harvested. That was the time to rejoice in their enjoyment—but they were still thirsty! The sixth case reveals that their thirst was not quenched even by their success...
However, the Lord is the food to the people who labor and He will afford living water to those who rest. Actually, humanity exists in only one of two conditions. One is that because they lack something they must seek, work, strive, and labor; the other is that because they have everything they may rejoice and enjoy their riches. In other words, at first you find that you do not have anything; therefore, you must work and labor hard. For example, perhaps you are in the first year of college and you have to labor over your studies. This is like the feast of the Passover. After you have graduated and received your degree and have an excellent occupation, you are rich. This is like the feast of Tabernacles because the work and labor are over. Now you are at rest and are in the position to rejoice and enjoy the benefits of your labor.

Which feast are you attending—the feast of the Passover or the feast of Tabernacles? Regardless of which feast you are attending, you are still hungry or thirsty. Whether you are in a poor or rich condition, whether you are in a state of poverty or plenty, you will realize that you are either hungry or thirsty. Many foreign students come to the rich country of the United States for an education, but in reality, they are simply hungry. After they work hard for several years and finally achieve their Ph.D. degree, some will become very wealthy, but they will still be thirsty...

Praise the Lord that Christ is the bread of life for those who are laboring at the feast of the Passover. A college education can never be the bread of life. Only the Lord Himself can be our satisfaction. Furthermore, only Christ can quench the thirst for those who are resting and rejoicing at the feast of Tabernacles. Even when people have everything, the corn and the wine, they realize that an inner thirst still persists. They may rejoice and enjoy the produce that is in their hands, yet only the Lord has the living water to quench their thirst.

If you see the thought concerning these two feasts, you will see the two phases of man’s condition and the two aspects of Christ as our supply of life. On one hand, He is the bread of life while we are laboring; on the other hand, He supplies us with the living water while we are resting. Once you see this thought, you will understand the whole of John 7. Although it is a long chapter, it is brief in thought. The thought is that when you have succeeded in all of your achievements, when you have enjoyed all of your possessions, when you have rejoiced in all of your best circumstances, you will then realize that your thirst has not been quenched. Nothing is adequate to quench your thirst. Only the Lord can quench your thirst by affording you the living water.

How wonderful the Lord is - whether we are hungering for something or thirsting because we are not satisfied with what we hungered for, He is the unique solution. He is the bread of life and He is the water of life.

Here is a hymn I hope you will enjoy with a link to the tune. The original has 8 verses, I have only included a few:

1 My heart is hungry, my spirit doth thirst;
I come to Thee, Lord, to seek Thy supply;
All that I need is none other but Thee,
Thou canst my hunger and thirst satisfy.
Chorus
Feed me, Lord Jesus, give me to drink,
Fill all my hunger, quench all my thirst;
Flood me with joy, be the strength of my life,
Fill all my hunger, quench all my thirst.

2 Thou art the food and the water of life,
Thou canst revive me, my spirit upbear;
I long to eat and to drink here of Thee,
Thyself enjoy through my reading and prayer.

3 Thou art the Word with God’s fulness in Thee,
Thou too the Spirit that God my life be;
Thee in the Word I enjoy as my food,
Thou as the Spirit art water to me.

4 Thou from the heavens as food camest down,
Thou to be drink hast been smitten for me;
Thou as the food, my exhaustless supply,
Thou as the water, a stream unto me.

5 Thou in the Word art the Spirit and life,
Thus by the Word I may feed upon Thee;
Thou dost as Spirit in my spirit live,
Thus I may drink in the spirit of Thee.

8 Here, O my Lord, may I feast upon Thee;
Flood with Thy Spirit and fill by Thy Word;
May, Lord, Thou be such a feast unto me
As man hath never enjoyed nor e’er heard.

Flood us with joy, today, Lord, be the strength of our life! Fill all our hunger and quench all our thirst.

Much love,
Joanne

Our Hoarded Resources

Hi Everyone,
It's me, Joanne, up at 4:30 due to a number of issues, one being the pressing issues of life that keep me awake, another being the pain at the incision sites which requires that I take medication which makes my mind fuzzy. Oh Lord. So, this morning when I woke up, I was reminded of a line from one of my favorite hymns - "When we reach the end of our hoarded resources, our Father's full giving is only begun."

I also considered the instance of the wedding at Cana where resources ran out and they came to Jesus for the answer. Here is the account of that wedding:

John 2:1-11
1 And the third day a wedding took place in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there.

2 And Jesus also was invited, as well as His disciples, to the wedding.

3 And when the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, They have no wine.

4 And Jesus said to her, Woman, what do I have in this that concerns you? My hour has not yet come.

5 His mother said to the servants, Whatever He says to you, do.

6 Now there were six stone waterpots lying there, according to the Jews' rite of purification, holding two or three measures each.

7 Jesus said to them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.

8 And He said to them, Draw some out now and take it to the master of the feast. And they took it to him.

9 And when the master of the feast tasted the water which had become wine and did not know where it came from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew, the master of the feast called the bridegroom

10 And said to him, Every man sets out the good wine first, and when they have drunk freely, then that which is worse; you have kept the good wine until now.

11 This beginning of signs Jesus performed in Cana of Galilee and manifested His glory, and His disciples believed into Him.


Many years ago, as a young Christian, I always pondered this incongruity of being at the end of hoarded resources, yet being indwelt with the limitless, Eternal One! Why was I at the end of my rope? Why was I not able to go on? Wasn't I a Christian? Wasn't this a poor testimony? Well, I found the answer when I read something about this passage. It has continued to supply me all through the years and supplied me again this morning when I was faced with the end of the line of my hoarded resources again.

The footnotes for these verses really explain the situation. The fact that the wine ran out is significant. Footnote 3-1 says: Wine, the life juice of the grape, signifies life. Hence, the wine's running out symbolizes that the human life runs out. Ran out - literally the translation means fell short.

Verse 6 talks about the 6 stone waterpots lying there which signify man, who was created on the 6th day. That they were used for the Jewish rite of purification:Footnote 6-2: The Jews' rite of purification with water signifies religion's attempt to make people clean by certain dead practices. But the Lord changes death into life. The water that the waterpots were filled with signified death - (we are baptized in water into the death of Christ).

So far, the 6 waterpots, signifying man, who was created on the 6th day, are filled with water, i.e. death. The wine, the human life has run out. But hallelujah, Jesus is there! At that juncture, Jesus changes the water into wine. The head waiter appraises the wine as the best. The end is not the end when Jesus is there. That is because the Lord’s changing water into wine establishes the principle of life— changing death into life. The Lord Jesus can change death into life. So when we reach the end of ourselves, and we come to the Lord at the end, He can fill us with Himself and become our life.

I know in principle, we are Christians and the Lord is our life. But we will depend upon and live according to our natural life (the first wine). This life will come to an end, it will run out.

So while I have extenuating circumstances that require much prayer, I also have the confidence that as long as Jesus is a factor, the running out of my human life, the end of my human capacity is the door of opportunity for Him to become my life, and my all.

Here's the hymn that I enjoyed and a new way of singing it
(http://www.hymnal.net/Hymns/NewTunes/midi/e0723_new.mid):

1 He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase,
To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men,
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

2 When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half-done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father's full giving is only begun.


Isn't it wonderful that His love has no limit? His grace has no measure? He is giving all that He is to us - Praise Him.

Please continue to pray that we can get the house issues taken care of - they are very pressing and it is getting increasingly difficult to find places for all the stuff. Please also pray for Paul - he is in the middle of all this and the burden is crushing as times. Please also pray that the incisions from the surgery would heal and that the Lord would continue to take care of every detail.

He is so wonderful.

Much love to you all,
Joanne

Update on Mom

Yesterday, Mom had a 3 hour hernia repair surgery. The doctors were able to complete the procedure laproscopically, but did so through 14 incisions. They inserted a 27X30 cm mesh to repair what the doctor called a double hernia. Dad and I were able to meet mom in the recovery room. Unfortunately she was in a lot of pain. After a couple of hours in the recovery room, she was moved back to the 7th floor of the Connors building which was a pleasant surprise. Dad and I brought her stuff up to her room and met her there. She was in a lot of pain last night but was able to manage it with dilaudid. She had one of her old nurses, Erin, who remembered her and took good care of her last night. She walked a lot today and is waiting for her bowels to wake up. Even though a hernia repair is a fairly standard procedure, the size of mom's hernia may extend the recovery time. She is moving around but is still on a liquid diet. She may be released on Saturday but it will likely be Sunday. She is just enjoying resting for a few days. She is no longer taking dilaudid and is doing much better. She went into this surgery much healthier than surgeries in the past and it is remarkable how good she looks. Please pray that she would have less pain and be ready to go home soon. Thank you all for your prayers and support!

Songs in the Night

Hi Everyone,
Lately (for the past few months actually) I have been waking up at around 3:30 or 4:00. Sometimes I can get back to sleep but other times sleep just slips away and I am left in my bed with my thoughts. I usually am reminded that this is a good time to pray and spend time with the Lord. Today, I got up and remembered a line from a hymn by Fanny Crosby - the line was "And giveth me songs in the night." Here is the hymn which is an old favorite and really enjoyable to sing:

1 Redeemed—how I love to proclaim it!
Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb;
Redeemed through His infinite mercy,
His child, and forever, I am.

Redeemed, redeemed,
Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb;
Redeemed, redeemed,
His child, and forever, I am.

2 Redeemed and so happy in Jesus,
No language my rapture can tell;
I know that the light of His presence
With me doth continually dwell.

3 I think of my blessed Redeemer,
I think of Him all the day long;
I sing, for I cannot be silent;
His love is the theme of my song.

4 I know I shall see in His beauty
The King in whose way I delight;
Who lovingly guardeth my footsteps,
And giveth me songs in the night.

I wondered if this phrase was in the Bible or just a symbolically poetic phrase. Here are a number of verses about songs in the night.

Job 35:10: But no one says, Where is God my Maker, Who gives songs in the night,

Psalms 42:8: By day Jehovah commands His lovingkindness, And by night His song is with me, A prayer to the God of my life.

Psalms 77:6: I remember my song in the night; I muse with my own heart, and my spirit carefully searches.

Psalms 119:62: At midnight I rise up to give thanks to You Because of Your righteous ordinances.

Acts 16:25: And about midnight Paul and Silas, while praying, sang hymns of praise to God; and the prisoners were listening to them.

Many times last year I would awaken in the middle of the night because of a beeping IV pump, or pain, hot flashes, or the nurse checking vital signs or I was just awake. I can't remember ever feeling completely alone and desolate - rather, I was comforted by the Word of God and by songs in the night. Sometimes I would listen to a cd of the Bible or else I would listen to a hymn - but most of the time, the Lord would remind me of a verse or hymn or someone to pray for. Each time I had a strong sensation that the Lord was there with me, giving me songs in the night. Praise Him.

So again, this morning at 4:00, I was awake and praying for a dear sister I know who is fighting a similar cancer battle (only she is at the beginning) and the Lord gave me a song in the night! He is too sweet, too rich, too wonderful! I had to share the song with you all.

Much love,
Joanne

Entering into the joy of the Lord

The surgery is one week from Thursday - please pray for the surgeon and for every detail of the surgery - the anesthesia, the procedure and the recovery. Hallelujah we are in the Lord's hands.

This past week I have been considering the matter of suffering and being dealt with in our circumstances. I know that as Christians we are in the process of being transformed and this requires the losing of the soul-life or denying the self. As I considered how I could possibly deny the self, I realized that any attempt in myself to do this kind of denying will cause the self to grow and be fortified. Yet the word is clear: He who loves his soul-life will lose it and he who denies his soul-life will gain it in the coming age.

So, what is the soul, and how do we lose the soul-life and what exactly is the soul our transformation is a freeing process. I used to think it was a hard, rather difficult thing to be transformed - but this week I realized that what is happening is that we are in the process of being freed from the tyranny of the law of sin and of death. The law of sin - causes us to be a slave of sin. The footnote in Romans 8:2 from the Recovery Version of the Bible about the working of this law is very enlightening:

26 The law of sin, the power to commit sin that arises spontaneously in man, causes man to become a slave of sin (John 8:34). Thus, man is helpless, is controlled and manipulated by sin, and does many things against his will. The law of death, the natural power that causes man to become weak, to wither up, and to age and die, dwells in man and causes every part of man to enter into decay and death. On one hand, death disables man; on the other hand, it desensitizes man. It causes man to be disabled when he attempts to do good, and to be insensitive when he commits sins.


So transformation is the process of the life of God freeing us completely from the law of sin and death.

So to deny the self really is not to create a vacuum within us where we stop doing something - but it is rather being drawn by the Lord to enjoy what He enjoys. It is really something to realize that the Lord Jesus, for the joy set before Him, endured the cross. (Hebrews 12:2) What was His joy? I did a search on the word joy in the New Testament and a few verses stood out to me:


Matthew 25:23

23 His master said to him, Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful over a few things; I will set you over many things. Enter into the joy of your master.

John 15 : 11

11 These things I have spoken to you that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be made full.

Romans 14:17

17 For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

Galatians 5:22

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Hebrews 12 : 2

2 Looking away unto Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down on the right hand of the throne of God.


In considering these verses, it seems that the Lord's joy had to do with the Father's will - Psalms 40 : 8

8 I delight in doing Your will, O My God; Indeed Your law is within My inward parts.


So the Lord's joy is directly related to doing the Father's will - Denying the self happens spontaneously as we enjoy the Lord and His joy becomes our joy. As we enjoy Him, little by little we are freed from the tyranny of the law of sin and of death and we are more and more living according to the Law of the Spirit of Life!

Gain us more today, Lord!

Here is a wonderful hymn about this process of transformation! It is also a great prayer to pray to the Lord. Here's a link to the tune: Click Here


1 God’s intention is to have us
All conformed to His dear Son;
Thus a work of transformation
By the Spirit must be done.

Chorus
Lord, transform us to Thine image
In emotion, mind, and will;
Saturate us with Thy Spirit,
All our being wholly fill.

2 God hath us regenerated
In our spirit with His life;
But He must transform us further-
In our soul by His own life.

3 Spreading outward from our spirit
Doth the Lord transform our soul,
By the inward parts renewing,
Till within His full control.

4 By the power of His Spirit
In His pattern He transforms;
From His glory to His glory
To His image He conforms.

5 He transforms, all sanctifying,
Till like Him we are matured;
He transforms, our soul possessing,
Till His stature is secured.


Praise Him for His marvelous work!
Much love,
Joanne

Surgery Update

I saw the pre-op nurse practitioner yesterday and got some of the details of the upcoming surgery. They will attempt to do it laparoscopically but if they are not able since it is rather large, they will have to do regular abdominal surgery. But the nurse told me that if anyone can do it, Dr. Brooks can. One of the problems following surgery is that a large amount of CO2 is pumped into the abdominal cavity so that all the organs can be viewed more easily - this causes a great deal of pain following surgery but walking usually helps the body absorb the CO2. Depending on what happens, I will at least spend one night at BWH.

The Victory of Resurrection

Last winter, the ornamental cherry tree in our front yard was severely damaged by a heavy, wet snow storm. I watched in horror as a large limb of the tree broke off. We all thought that it would never recover and really mourned its loss. It is really majestic in the spring when the soft pink flowers blossom - it takes your breath away, really. Well, today, Patriots' Day in Massachusetts, Spring is definitely here and different bushes, trees and bulbs are waking up from the long winter. It is always such a delight to see the different flowers, and to see the buds appear on those seemingly dead tree branches. I walked by the window this morning and looked out at the cherry tree, sadly anticipating the absence of its former beauty. However, this morning there was triumph in that tree, for in spite of its being broken, cherry blossoms were just blooming! I said, even though it is broken, it is still beautiful. Actually it is more beautiful in some ways. That damage, that breaking, did not stop the life within the tree from being expressed! I had to upload a picture for you to see. In the middle of the tree is the jagged stump of the limb that broke off this winter. At its base, you can see the limb that broke off - how huge it was and also you can gauge how much the tree lost. This caused me to think about the Christian life and the following verses in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18:

16 Therefore we do not lose heart; but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

17 For our momentary lightness of affliction works out for us, more and more surpassingly, an eternal weight of glory,

18 Because we do not regard the things which are seen but the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.


There is footnote in the Recovery Version about being renewed in verse 16 that talks about resurrection life:
16-3 By being nourished with the fresh supply of the resurrection life. As our mortal body, our outer man, is being consumed by the killing work of death, our inner man, that is, our regenerated spirit with the inward parts of our being (Jer. 31:33; Heb. 8:10; Rom. 7:22, 25), is being metabolically renewed day by day with the supply of the resurrection life.


I also thought about Lazarus, who in John 11 had died and whom Jesus brought back from the dead and how both Mary and Martha missed seeing that Jesus was the resurrection and the life. There is a very touching footnote for verse 14 where Jesus says plainly that Lazarus had died:

14-1 In the Lord's salvation He does not merely heal the sick; He also gives life to the dead. Hence, He remained two days until the sick one had died (v. 6). The Lord does not reform or regulate people — He regenerates people and raises them out of death. Hence, the first of the nine cases in chs. 3-11 was a case of regeneration, and the last was a case of resurrection, revealing that all the aspects of Christ as life to us, as unveiled in the other seven cases, are in the principle of regeneration and resurrection. This last case was the actual changing of death into life.

Only the Lord can change death into life - how marvelous! The Lord gives life to the dead! He raised Lazarus. The cherry blossoms on that tree are a reminder to me that life triumphs over death! There is another great verse in 1 Corinthians 15:54:
54 And when this corruptible will put on incorruption and this mortal will put on immortality, then the word which is written will come to pass, "Death has been swallowed up unto victory.

Here's a great footnote about victory:
54-3 This chapter is on resurrection. Christ's resurrection was His victory over Satan, God's enemy, over the world, over sin, and over death. After His triumphal ascension to the height (Eph. 4:8) in His resurrection, God subdued all the enemies for Him (v. 25). Then, as One who is in resurrection, He will come to the earth with the kingdom of God (Dan. 7:13-14) to exercise God's power and subdue everything on earth. This will continue for a thousand years (Rev. 20:4, 6). The last enemy to be abolished is death. The swallowing up of death will result in the ultimate victory of the Lord's resurrection, that is, in the ultimate and complete victory that He has accomplished in resurrection for us who believe in Him and participate in His resurrection. This is the ultimate issue of His resurrection for His and God's eternal kingdom and for the eternal enjoyment of His resurrection life in eternity by those who believe in Him.

I often enjoy this hymn about resurrection life:

1Death cannot hold the resurrection life,
The life of God eternal manifest;
’Tis uncreated, indestructible,
’Tis Christ Himself, unconqu’rable, expressed

2 Death cannot hold the resurrection life,
Though all its force against it may combine;
Death only gives it opportunity
To show the boundless pow’r of life divine.

3 Death cannot hold the resurrection life,
The more interred, the more it multiplies;
All kinds of suff’ring only help it grow
And fruits of life abundant realize.

4 Death cannot hold the resurrection life,
Thru every block and barrier it breaks;
Conqu’ring the pow’r of darkness and of hell,
It swallows death and victory partakes.

5 Death cannot hold the resurrection life,
All of God’s fulness it will manifest;
God’s righteousness and holiness it yields,
His glorious image by it is expressed.

6 Oh, may I know this resurrection life,
In every kind of death its pow’r outpoured,
In my experience ever realize
This life is nought but Christ my living Lord.

So the breaking of that cherry tree was not its end - when we experience the breaking of our outer man, we have hope - blessed hope that our inner man is being renewed! The outward breaking is not the end - it is the means to being renewed.

Oh Lord, may we know this resurrection life and in every kind of death enjoy its power outpoured. May we all enjoy the death swallowing, and victory partaking life that indwells us.

Praise Him!

More about the upcoming surgery tomorrow after I meet with the doctors at BWH. Please pray for a speedy recovery from this cold so it will not interfere with the surgery schedule.

Much love,
Joanne

Grace upon grace

Hello everyone,
I go to Brigham and Women's next Tuesday for the pre-op visit. Hopefully everything will go smoothly - I am getting a cold but hope that all those immune-boosting supplements along with the Zoe life of God will not allow the virus to take hold. Not much activity on the home front - we are still getting estimates from contractors. Today is April 15 - the crunch day for Paul - please continue to pray for him as he finishes up all the taxes in the midst of chaos. Also please pray for wisdom for me about when I should stop taking the supplements before the surgery.

This morning I was considering the title of this website along with the verse from 1 Peter 4:10 and thought about the "traditional" definition of grace which is God's unmerited favor. Now, I am not a Bible scholar nor do I know Greek, but I did some research this morning about this word. First of all, it appears 128times in the New Testament. Here are a few definitions from well-known resources:

Strong’s Dictionary of New Testament words defines the Greek word for ‘grace’ as follows:

“grace” = 5485 charis (khar'-ece); from 5463; graciousness (as gratifying), of manner or act (abstract or concrete; literal, figurative or spiritual; especially the divine influence upon the heart, and its reflection in the life; including gratitude): KJV-- acceptable, benefit, favor, gift, grace (-ious), joy, liberality, pleasure, thank (-s, -worthy).

Strong’s says that charis comes from a root word, “chairo” which is defined as follows:

chairo (khah'-ee-ro); a primary verb; to be "cheerful", i.e. calmly happy or well-off; impersonally, especially as salutation (on meeting or parting), be well: KJV-- farewell, be glad, God speed, greeting, hall, joy (-fully), rejoice.

Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament words says of charis:

GRACE = 1. charis ^5485^ has various uses, (a) objective, that which bestows or occasions pleasure, delight, or causes favorable regard. (From Vine's Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words) (Copyright (C) 1985, Thomas Nelson Publishers)

What really touched me about these definitions were two things: the divine influence upon the heart and all the references to joy, pleasure, delight. So, while grace surely is God's unmerited favor - it is more - it has to do with the divine influence upon the heart which issues in joy. Hence the verse in 1 Peter 4:10 about the varied grace of God. As I considered grace, I realized that we are in the age of grace - the age of the possibility for God to influence our heart to the extent that we enjoy Him! What an age to live in! How much we need to take advantage of this age of grace. Even the throne of God is the throne of grace! Hebrews 4:16 says:
Let us therefore come forward with boldness to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace for timely help.

When God became incarnate and stepped into humanity, that was an expression of grace. Grace came through Jesus Christ: John 1:17: For the law was given through Moses; grace and reality came through Jesus Christ.

The footnote from the Recovery Version says:
The law makes demands on man according to what God is; grace supplies man with what God is to meet what God demands. The law, at most, was only a testimony of what God is (Exo. 25:21), but reality is the realization of what God is. No man can partake of God through the law, but grace enables man to enjoy God. Reality is God realized by man, and grace is God enjoyed by man.

One of the names of God is "the God of all grace". All grace is significant here in light of the suffering a little while in 1 Peter 5:10:
But the God of all grace, He who has called you into His eternal glory in Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself perfect, establish, strengthen, and ground you.

The footnote for all grace is really marvelous:
All grace refers to the riches of the bountiful supply of the divine life in many aspects ministered to us in many steps of the divine operation on and in us in God's economy. The initial step is to call us, and the consummate step is to glorify us, as mentioned here in who has called you into His eternal glory. Between these two steps are God's loving care while He is disciplining us, and His perfecting, establishing, strengthening, and grounding work in us. In all these divine acts, the bountiful supply of the divine life is ministered to us as grace in varied experiences. The God of such grace will perfect, establish, strengthen, and ground the persecuted believers after they have suffered a little while.
Surely the grace we receive outweighs the burden of the suffering so our affliction can be referred to as momentary and light: 2 Corinthians 4:17: For our momentary lightness of affliction works out for us, more and more surpassingly, an eternal weight of glory,

So grace is ministered to us in each of our suffering experiences and is more than sufficient. Corinthians 12:9: And He has said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly therefore I will rather boast in my weaknesses that the power of Christ might tabernacle over me.

Here the footnote speaks of why suffering is required:

For the sufficiency of the Lord's grace to be magnified, our sufferings are required; for the perfectness of the Lord's power to be shown forth, our weakness is needed. Hence, the apostle would most gladly boast in his weaknesses that the power of Christ might tabernacle over him. Grace is the supply, and power is the strength, the ability, of grace. Both are the resurrected Christ, who is now the life-giving Spirit dwelling in us (1 Cor. 15:45; Gal. 2:20) for our enjoyment.

Another wonderful verse about grace is in Ephesians 1:6: To the praise of the glory of His grace, with which He graced us in the Beloved;

God has put is in the position of being the object of His grace and favor, that is, that we may enjoy all that He is to us!

No wonder John Newton wrote that grace is amazing!

Here is a wonderful hymn about grace and a link to the tune - in case you want to sing along:

Link to tune:

1 Grace in its highest definition is
God in the Son to be enjoyed by us;
It is not only something done or giv’n,
But God Himself, our portion glorious.

2 God is incarnate in the flesh that we
Him may receive, experience ourself;
This is the grace which we receive of God,
Which comes thru Christ and which is Christ Himself.

3 Paul the Apostle counted all as dung,
’Twas only God in Christ he counted grace;
’Tis by this grace-the Lord experienced-
That he surpassed the others in the race.

4 It is this grace-Christ as our inward strength-
Which with His all-sufficiency doth fill;
It is this grace which in our spirit is,
There energizing, working out God’s will.

5 This grace, which is the living Christ Himself,
Is what we need and must experience;
Lord, may we know this grace and by it live,
Thyself increasingly as grace to sense.


So dear ones, enjoy the grace that is your portion today!

Much love,
Joanne

Seeing Dr. Berlin

Hi Everyone,
Just a quick update - I saw Dr. Berlin today - after waiting 2.5 hours to see her! They say she spends a lot of time with her patients and that is why she is always late. I guess that's a good reason. I was able to do some reading while I waited and waited. I was in a great room on the corner of the building on the 9th floor that has two windows on the corner and around the office on two sides giving a great view of the whole Boston Medical area. Dr. Berlin told me that the chest CT scan showed nodularity that they couldn't distinguish - she says it means that one area of gray was not as smooth as other areas of gray and so she says that the only way they can tell if it is some new growth is to rescan - which they are going to do in July! My CA125 was 5, like it was in January. Anything below 35 is considered "normal." The hernia is something that needs to be taken care of because of how much of the colon is involved. I asked her about any complications with having the surgery - she felt that is was a quality of life decision since I can't continue to go around with that huge bulge. She said we have to take the high road in this field and we have to live like we are going to live! Amen to that! I am so thankful to the Lord for all that He has provided through this and other doctors at Dana Farber. That place is really something special – even the parking people are kind!

Dr. Berlin did want me to see a Dr. Rosenthal at the Zakim Center at Dana Farber – he is a “complementary” care doctor who could review the supplements I am taking through the naturopathic doctor. I didn’t have a chance to see him today but I will call him soon.

Well, I must get back to my reading.

Much love,
Joanne

Hello everyone,
We are still ceilingless in 3 rooms and are awaiting to see what the insurance company will do about funding the repairs. I have been thanking the Lord for those 16 years I lived in a very small house, because now we are crammed into the dining room and our bedroom with Paul's files, the computer, desks etc! While this isn't a great suffering, it has the potential to drive me crazy - so thanking the Lord has been a great way to subdue that urge to complain. I see Dr. Berlin on Wednesday but I won't know anything about the blood tests for a couple of days. Last week I was having abdominal pain but it has subsided - I think I was doing too much with the flooded house.

I don't know if you do this, but usually when a date comes that has significance historically in my life, I pause to consider what have I gained or have I changed much - this self-evaluation is usually not the best endeavor because I often doubt that there has been much change and also wonder if I have gained much of the Lord. Of course, this past Saturday was one of those days as it marked one year since I received the diagnosis and had that moment of having my life flashing before me. At that time, when the doctor told me I had tumors that were most likely cancer, tearfully doing a quick assessment of my life, I said to Paul (my husband), "I have no regrets. I have not spent my life in a vain way pursuing what I thought I would pursue before I met the Lord. He has mercifully rescued me from a life of vanity, pursing the wind, to one of reality, pursuing Him." There was great relief at that moment, that if I had to see the Lord face to face soon, at least I would not be ashamed about how I had spent the days He had given me. What a mercy that was to me.

But then over the next months, I began to seek the Lord about why this was necessary? What was God's point that He was trying to make? I worried that if I didn't learn the lesson, then perhaps I would have to repeat the "class". I think I got the answer. The sufferings, allowed by a faithful God, will be used by Him to bring each of us into more of the reality of Who He is, and will help us explore the depths of supply found in His Word. But suffering cannot be examined separately from God's economy - which is God dispensing Himself into us as our life and life supply. The suffering is not to make us model Christians who bear everything well, but rather to constitute us with God, with the Divine life, and make us utterly dependent on Him. How sad to go through suffering and come out more fortified in natural strength. That is how the world views adversity - that if you endure it, you will come out stronger. But the Lord's view is quite different. His goal is that we would decrease and He would increase; that He would do, as Charles Wesley wrote in the hymn Hark the Herald Angels Sing, Adam's image now erase, stamp Thine image in its place!

Regarding the matter of self-examination or introspection, here is something from the Collected Works of Watchman Nee, vol. 38 that addresses this issue and is really helpful:

Among God's children, there is nothing more damaging than introspection. Let us bear this in mind—the most damaging thing is to turn our gaze inward. This may be even more serious than sin. Sin is readily recognized as such, but introspection is not detected so easily. An unsuspected disease is always more serious and damaging than an apparent one. If you were asked whether it is wrong to be proud, you would immediately answer that it is obviously wrong. If you were asked whether it is wrong to be envious, you would know quite well that it is wrong. These flaws are obvious. But you can become introspective twenty times in a single day without any sense of wrongdoing. If you quarrel, you soon become aware that you have done something wrong; you quickly identify your sickness. But you can be introspective and be totally unaware of its evil. Looking within is the most hurtful thing in the Christian life. Many Christians are given to introspection, and they are living a life of false spirituality. There is no profit in introspection. The greatest damage a Christian can suffer comes from introspection; it will cheat you.

So rather than looking within, we need to look away! (Hebrews 12:2)

Some verses I have been enjoying about this matter of suffering:

Hebrews 12:11
11 Now no discipline at the present time seems to be a matter of joy, but of grief; but afterward it yields the 1apeaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been exercised by it.

1 Peter 1:6-7;
6 In which time you exult, though for a little while at present, if it must be, you have been made sorrowful by various trials,

7 So that the proving of your faith, much more precious than of gold which perishes though it is proved by fire, may be found unto praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

1 Peter 4:12-13
12 Beloved, do not think that the fiery ordeal among you, coming to you for a trial, is strange, as if it were a strange thing happening to you;

13 But inasmuch as you share in the sufferings of Christ, rejoice, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice exultingly.

Psalm 66:10
10 For You have tried us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined.

I offer this hymn that is a great way to pray concerning this matter. The hymn was written by Brother Watchman Nee.

1 Olives that have known no pressure
No oil can bestow;
If the grapes escape the winepress,
Cheering wine can never flow;
Spikenard only through the crushing,
Fragrance can diffuse.
Shall I then, Lord, shrink from suff’ring
Which Thy love for me would choose?

Chorus
Each blow I suffer
Is true gain to me.
In the place of what Thou takest
Thou dost give Thyself to me.

2 Do my heart-strings need Thy stretching,
Songs divine to prove?
Do I need for sweetest music
Cruel treatment of Thy love?
Lord, I fear no deprivation
If it draws to Thee;
I would yield in full surrender
All Thy heart of love to see.

3 I’m ashamed, my Lord, for seeking
Self to guard alway;
Though Thy love has done its stripping,
Yet I’ve been compelled this way.
Lord, according to Thy pleasure
Fully work on me;
Heeding not my human feelings,
Only do what pleases Thee.

4 If Thy mind and mine should differ,
Still pursue Thy way;
If Thy pleasure means my sorrow,
Still my heart shall answer, “Yea!”
’Tis my deep desire to please Thee,
Though I suffer loss;
E’en though Thy delight and glory
Mean that I endure the cross.

5 Oh, I’ll praise Thee, e’en if weeping
Mingle with my song.
Thine increasing sweetness calls forth
Grateful praises all day long.
Thou hast made Thyself more precious
Than all else to me:
Thou increase and I decrease, Lord-
This is now my only plea.

In the place of what Thou takest, Thou dost give Thyself to me! Praise the Lord!
What a great exchange! This is a promise we can believe - that the Lord causes all things to work together for good. What is good? That we would be conformed to His image - that self would decrease and He would increase.

I hope this blog has been useful over the past year - it has been a means for the Lord to flow out to reach you all when I have not been physically able. Your encouraging comments have sustained me and have exhibited God's loving care to me.

Much love,
Joanne