Saturday early evening, July 28th

A lot had transpired by the time I returned to the hospital at 5:30. Mom no longer had any tubes in her. They took her off the PCA and are now giving her oxycontin and oxycodone and ativan for pain. This has made Mom’s pain a little less bearable, but it is encouraging seeing her walk around with nothing but her walker – it makes a Sunday return home seem like more of a reality. She also started eating solid foods for dinner. Visitors have been consistent, which has been encouraging.

Stephen

Saturday Morning Doctors Visit

Mom was visited by a teamd of 3 doctors this morning, including Dr. Fleming from several months ago. They looked at Mom's wound, which still looks ok, but they are watching it closely to make sure it keeps draining out. They also gave Mom some tips for identifying an infection when she goes home. The doctor encouraged her to keep walking.

She is still in a considerable amount of pain and the nurse last night was a little demanding, but overall she is doing quite well. Everyone that remembers her from the last time, agree that she looks much better.

Stephen Juraschek

Friday Morning - Berkowitz Post-Surgery Visit

Dr. Berkowitz visited Mom at 6:50 am. He said that everything went very well. The cancer responded dramatically to the chemo. He removed everything bigger than a tenth of an inch, and there really wasn’t that much to remove. During surgery Dr. Berkowitz discussed with Dr. Berlin (Mom's oncologist) about putting in an abdominal catheter and they decided to put it in. Now chemo will be administered intravenously and through the IP catheter. They did take the appendix out, that was the only bowel work. The goals for today are getting out of bed with the help of the nurses and deep breathing. He said Mom has every reason to be encouraged by her current condition. The incision looked good – the dressing is nice and dry. They excised the old wound, so new tissue is being used to heal the incision. He emphasized that it is dramatic what the chemotherapy did. We have every reason to be hopeful that the chemotherapy will resolve the rest. The average is to be in the hospital 3 days. Hopefully she will be ready to go home Sunday or Monday. She can do the stairs in our house. The only restriction is from the perspective of her comfort. She shouldn't do stairs on her own, but she can do them.

In terms of her morale, Mom is quite peaceful. She is very lucid, much better than the last time. She was quite encouraged by the news from Dr. Berkowitz and is currently resting.

Stephen Juraschek

In the recovery room

We visited Mom at 3 and then again at 5. Currently she is still in the recovery room. We will remain here until she moves to the Connor's Center. When we saw her she seemed at peace though understandably in much pain--though she commented that she felt a lot less pain than last time. She has a lot fewer apparatuses attached to her, which increases her comfort level. She was happy to know that the colon remained intact, that they did the hysterectomy, and that she qualified for the intraperitoneal. Hopefully she will be moved out of the ICU soon. Andrew is doing well too, he was able to handle mom's condition much better than after her last surgery . Dad is also at peace.

Stephen Juraschek

Berkowitz's Assessment of Mom's Surgery

Hi everyone,

Here are the notes we took from Berkowitz's consult after mom's surgery. Right now she is in recovery and we will be able to see her at 3 pm. I will update you on the psychological side of things once we see her. Thank you for your prayer.

The surgery went as well as possible. There were a limited number of tumors to remove – most of the ones removed were the size of a lentil though some were as large as a quarter. The others were the size of grains of sand – too small to be removed. Internally, there was a tremendous improvement from before. They removed the fallopian tubes and the ovaries. They did a resection on a portion of the appendix, abdominal lining, and pelvic lining where there were tumors. There was no bowel resection required. Based on a consult with the oncologist they felt to insert an intraperitoneal (IP) catheter, which is a recent technology developed at Johns Hopkins that administers chemotherapy directly to the diseased area of the body.

Stephen Juraschek

The Secret

In my quest to overcome the fear that sneaks up on me and chokes me, I found that reasoning around the fear does not help. I have to engage my spirit - so I've been praying about the surgery etc. and the sneak fear attacks have become less. The prayer produces faith and then the issue of this faith is the secret weapon - praising the Lord for who He is in the midst of the suffering situation. But not just empty praising. Psalm 106:12 says Then they believed His words; They sang His praise. When we pray and touch the Lord, we are infused with Him which produces faith, which then issues in praise. God's hands are good - there are so many attributes of God that do not change - even though I am in the midst of a struggle, He is still good. His mercy endures forever. I read in a booklet this morning entitled Praising by Watchman Nee about a battle of Jehosaphat's. He was a king of Judah going to battle and he put singers at the front of the troops saying Praise the Lord, for His mercy endures forever. He fought the battle through praise.
Sometimes the real struggle lies within me - not only the outward situation but my response to it. Here is an excerpt from the booklet I mentioned (which I highly recommend):

"Please remember that when you suffer great personal hardship and severe injustice, it is not the time for you to pray, but the time for you to praise. You should bow your head and say to the Lord, “I thank You. You are never wrong in what You do. I accept all these things from Your hands. I thank You. I praise You.” If you do this, all your problems will go away. Victory has nothing to do with struggling with the flesh. It has nothing to do with trying to forgive others or striving to pardon others with one’s own strength. Victory comes when one bows his head and praises the Lord: “I praise You for Your way. Your arrangement is always good. Whatever You do is right.” "

Today I have a pre-op visit, blood work etc. at BWH. Wednesday is the intenstinal cleanout and then Thursday is the surgery at 7:30 am. I arrive at the hospital at 6:00 am!

I appreciate your support through your prayers, calls, email, and comments on the blog - I am supplied by all of you. Two items to pray about: that the surgical wound will heal without infection and that the surgeon will be able to remove all gross cancer.

It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord, and to sing praises unto Thy name, O Most High. Psalm 92:1.

Here's a great hymn to praise the Lord with:
I've found the One of peerless worth,
My heart doth sing for joy;
And sing I must for Christ I have;
Oh, what a Christ have I.

The hymn has 15 verses which are so rich - to see and hear it, go to

http://www.hymnal.net/cgi-bin/hymns/index?t=h&n=510


Praise Him! His mercy endures forever! I think my son Stephen will pick up the blog while I am recovering from surgery. He is home this summer until mid-August.

Much love,
Joanne

Peace and Rest

In reading the Healing from surgery book, I have to come up with a restful, relaxing place where I can imagine myself resting. I've been having the hardest time to come up with a picture of a relaxing place - it seems that everywhere I think is somewhat stressful.
I thought of a nice warm bed with a comforter and the fresh smell of sheets as you snuggle down under the covers. That might be a good one.

As I searched the New Testament for verses, I realized that the coming of the Lord Jesus to the earth announced peace among men. He is our peace (Ephesians 2:14-15). His coming announced peace! I am also reminded of the verses in Luke 8 where Jesus told his disciples that they would go over to the other side of the sea. A strong wind and storm arose but Jesus was asleep in the boat. It is amazing to me that in the midst of the storm with the wind, the rain and the raging sea, Jesus was asleep in the bottom of the boat, resting. I read the following and it is really true:

"We need to believe in the Lord and not look at our environment or circumstances. Instead of looking at the storm, let us look at the resting Lord. Which will you follow—the storm or the resting Lord? We may even want to say to the Lord, “Lord, since You are resting, I shall rest with You. Let the wind blow. Because You are resting, I can rest with You.” However, it is easy to say this, but it is difficult to practice it."

So how do I practice resting? Partly by saying no to worry - I have been trying this each day - when the worries come up and attack - I speak to them - No, you are a lie. I will not allow my mind to be invaded by you. The surgery coming up is good, necessary and right. But I have worried a lot over the years as all who know me can testify, so this is an exercise of the Spirit with my spirit - to change the way I think. This must be the renewing of the mind! Even though I can't remember things and seem to have a shortened attention span, my mind is still being renewed!

I also realize that some of the worries need to be borne in prayer by others. I think of Moses who had his arms held up in prayer by Aaron and Hur in order to defeat the Amalekites. We need to pray for each other and hold each other up in order to defeat the enemy. So I appreciate all the prayer which strengthens me to rest with the resting Lord Jesus. Things to continue to pray for: the surgery on July 26 - that all the cancer can be removed, no complications, no infections; the surgery preparation - that it will be effective; also I struggle with fear which sometimes overtakes me - I know that perfect love casts out fear and I stand on that fact, but sometimes the fear just grips me when I don't expect it. Please pray that the promises that the Lord has given in His word would be my reality. Pray also that I can focus on the Word - sometimes it's difficult to focus.

Well, I'd better go - much love to all of you.
Joanne

getting in shape for surgery

Hi Everyone,
It has been a week since chemo and while I am feeling fatigued, I am definitely better than I was. I even threw in some laundry - and then had to rest for 10 minutes - laundry can do that, especially at my house! I have so much enjoyed the comments from you as well as cards, visits, meals and calls. Sometimes when I am resting I don't pick up the phone, but just seeing that you called is so encouraging. My mission these next two weeks is to get ready for surgery - apparently an attitude of dread and fear is counter-healing and can actually prolong recovery. My oncologist recommended a book by Peggy Huddleston about preparing for and healing from surgery. It is an interesting approach. The author was a Harvard Divinity School grad who has done a lot of work in the Boston area with cancer/surgery patients. The approach is not something I had thought about but one thing she said is that while there are many, many things out of my control, the one thing I can control is my mind. Just like in Romans 8:6 - for the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the spirit is life and peace. I can set my mind on something other than my anxiety - which is a REAL exercise of the spirit for me. But since I have two weeks to practice this, I am going to find a few verses that will serve like the stones David selected from the stream and placed in his shepherd's bag to fight Goliath. Somewhere I once heard that these stones represent the Word which we select to fight the accuser. I'm going to find some verses on rest and peace that I can use to silence the anxious thoughts in my mind. If you have any suggestions, please send them along.
As soon as I am stronger, I am going to try walking around the block - I am wary of a very mean large dog across the street from me but that shouldn't keep me inside. I want to be as strong as possible physically for this surgery too.

The real prayer requests are for the upcoming surgery - that all the visible cancer can be removed (that didn't happen last time). Also, I am praying that the chemo will seek and destroy all the cancer cells in the abdominal area. Pray for the healing of the wound - the last wound still has not completely healed - pray for no infection and for peace for me and the family. Another prayer request involves the pre-op prep which is like preparing for a colonoscopy - drink yuky stuff etc. Please pray that I don't get too weak and collapse like I did earlier this week. That is something that is a recurring worry.

Thank you all again for your support - I wouldn't be here today without the Lord's gracious supply ministered to me through you all.

Love,
Joanne

Emergency Room

Last night, Anna and my Uncle Vincent took my mother to the emergency room. At about 4 pm, she passed out and hit her head on the bathroom floor. She was met by Dad at the emergency room and after waiting several hours, underwent numerous tests including a cat scan, an EKG, blood tests, and urine analysis. The whole ordeal took 5 hours. Mom and Dad arrived home at 12:00 am. The doctors ordered so many tests because they were concerned about internal bleeding (a contusion) due to the blood thinner she is taking. Their conclusion was that she was dehydrated and encouraged her to drink more fluids during the day.

Please continue to pray for her. This event although seemingly benign was somewhat discouraging and jarring to all of us. Also, please continue to pray for her upcoming surgery scheduled for July 26th.

Aside from the mishap, she is doing ok. She has some nausea and diaherrea due to the chemo, but otherwise has been looking much healthier than a month ago.

Stephen Juraschek

Fourth Round of Chemo

Today Mom had her fourth round of chemotherapy. She needed to wait a significant amount of time before starting and since it was late on Friday when the chemo did begin they had to administer it at a faster rate so Mom wouldn't interfere with the nurses' weekend plans. Later, Mom spoke with Dr. Berlin who said she was very encouraged by Mom's progress, Mom is responding well to the chemo, and Dr. Berlin discussed their hope to reduce the cancer nodules as much as possible prior to surgery on July 26th. She said that if Dr. Berkowitz is able to remove most of the tumor during the surgery, called debulking, Mom will be a candidate for an IP catheter, which applies the chemotherapy directly to the diseased region of her body. She also said that this surgery should go much better because Mom is much better physical condition than several months ago. Mom has a resilient body! Dr. Berlin answered most of Mom's questions about flushes, vomiting, and leg pain and reminded her of some critical handouts on chemo treatment that she had misplaced. Mom left in high spirits.

The days immediately following chemo are always difficult so please continue to pray for Mom.

Stephen Juraschek