Seasons

Hi Everyone,
I returned home on Thursday May 27th at around 3:00 pm. We found an agency that will help with home care called Seasons - which reminds me of Ecclesiasties 3:1-8:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to seek, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to throw away; A time to tear, and a time to sew; A time to be silent, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; A time for war, and a time for peace.

We reached this decision after reviewing the results of a CT scan, which showed that the chemotherapy had not been effective in stopping the cancer since April. The cancer had increased. So we decided to stop treatment that was not helping anyway. I am so glad to be home with my family. Who knows what the Lord will do? We are looking forward to enjoying Him and sharing in His marvelous plan. I am resting these days and hoping to get my g-tube working well so that I will stop vomiting. God is so faithful. I have been enjoying a song which you might also enjoy. I heard it on a cd from the Church in New York Young People. Here is a link to the music: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php?t=ns&n=287&f=mp3

Here are the words to the hymn:

There are times in my life
When my heart is embittered.
There are questions unanswered,
Yet, You're drawing me

To enter
Into Your blessed sanctuary
And turning my eyes heavenward,
The questions of constant inquiry
Are changed to these words,

"Whom do I have in heaven
But You, dear Jehovah.
My flesh and my heart
Constantly fail,

But God's still
The strength of my heart and my portion;
To Him forever I'll draw near.
I've made Jehovah my sweet refuge.
So now throughout the years

Turn my view to see You,
How I need to see Jesus!!
Though I don't understand
The ways that You take;

Lord, make me
A babe and suckling always praising.
Enjoying Your worth day by day.
Let each experience constitute me
So Your life I'll display
In every way.

O Lord, Turn our view to see You!
Much love,
Joanne

Exercising Faith

The GI doctors determined that the G-tube is functioning adequately to remove fluids that build up from continuous secretions within the bowels but may need occasional flushing and the help of various positions and walking to work effectively with gravity.
A Cat Scan with contrast on Saturday, May 23 revealed an additional partial obstruction in the middle of the small intestines in addition to the full obstruction at the end of the small intestines and partial blockage at the location of the duodenal stents at the beginning of the small intestines.
After more than six months of non-stop chemotherapy and the debilitating side-effects, the oncologist feels to suspend further chemo treatment at this time due to resistance to the chemo drugs and shift focus to quality of life, allowing Joanne to spend more time at home with the family.
We continue to be drawn to exercise increased faith in the One who proclaimed “I am the Resurrection and the Life”, Who has authority over all things, while presenting to Him our hands open for His perfect will. This is a time for His glory to be manifested. After man has reached the limit of what he can do, God will reveal what He can and chooses to do. Our “earnest expectation and hope is that … even now Christ will be magnified in Joanne’s body, whether though life or through death.” Phil 2:20 We are expecting to see His glory whether through miraculous healing or in living a life one spirit with Him, moving in harmony with His will and expressing the abundant riches of His grace for His purpose.

Current Status

Hi Everyone,

We wanted to bring everyone up to speed on my mom's situation. On May 15th, she went in to have a follow-up chemo appointment, but her red blood cell count was considered below the threshold and they did not proceed with the infusion. The following day, Saturday, she received a blood transfusion and a shot of Octeotride to reduce secretion of digestive juices. Then, beginning Sunday she began to experience severe back pain and nausea. On Wednesday, May 20th, of this week, she was admitted to Brigham & Women's Hospital and the GI doctors are assessing the functionality of the G-tube. They are continuing to look for causes of the back pain and the build up of fluids. Mom is beginning to be more conversational as pain medication enables her to get sufficient sleep.

Please pray for a clear diagnosis and the formulation of an effective treatment plan to provide adequate drainage of excess fluids in her system.

Update

Hello everyone,
Thought I'd update you today since I am feeling a bit better. I am just recovering from a horrendous rash that developed the day I came home from the hospital. Turns out I am allergic to the lipids part of the TPN - so the TPN was modified to exclude essential fats and the race has just about cleared up. I am having some blood sugar issues with the TPN too that are being worked on - it is amazing how our bodies were designed to work so precisely - when we try to replicate some function artificially, it is not easy to get everything to work well together. I had chemo last Friday and took about 4 days to recover from it - the side effects were mainly fatigue and also aches, pains and fever. I will see Dr. Berlin on Friday and will have blood tests to see how low my blood counts are - if too low, then no chemo. I'll keep you posted as I feel better. I am missing food a lot - getting nutrition through the TPN is efficient but not enjoyable. I really miss chewing - and miss sandwiches and other yummy things. I need to keep eating that food that Jesus talked about to His disciples - food that they didn't know about... This kind of eating will help me with the diet change. Like the children of Israel. They needed to eat the manna to help them change their diet. The manna experience is very similar to mine. Those children of Israel had been enjoying a rich diet in Egypt and then they were asked to eat this wafer. It must have been quite difficult for them to enjoy it very much. Yet it was their nutrition while in the wilderness. It helped wean them from the leeks and garlic of Egypt. That manna is just a type of Christ - He is the living bread that came down out of heaven from God. John 6 has many wonderful verses about the Lord as the living bread, the bread of life. We just need to eat Him! He told us that if we eat Him, we will live by Him. John 6:57 says: As the living Father has sent Me and I live because of the Father, so he who eats Me, he also shall live because of Me. Eating God is a really foreign concept - mostly we think about honoring God, worshipping God - but what about eating God? I realize that if I eat Him, I will be strengthened during the day to live by Him - and live in another realm, on another plain - by another life.

Here's a hymn to the tune of Amazing Grace:

1 The tree of life, how sweet the fruit,
With God as life complete.
I once was dead, but now I live,
Was starved, but now I eat.

2 'Twas God that brought me to the tree,
With Christ Himself as meat;
How precious did that tree become
When I began to eat.

3 The Lord Himself is food to me,
He is my life supply;
He will my pure enjoyment be,
None else can satisfy.

4 I freely eat this living tree,
For eating is the way
To put God's life inside of me,
To live by Him today.

My mom is visiting with my brother Vincent in Texas and having a wonderful time, according to him.

I went for a walk today - there was a lull in the rain - everything was so beautiful.

Please continue to pray as the Lord leads - I appreciate this so much.

Much love,
Joanne

Liquid Nutrition

Hi Everyone,
I was able to have surgery on Tuesday April 21 and Dr. Russell put in a PEG tube (which I mentioned in the last blog entry) and also removed the NG tube – YAY!! This G-tube allows my stomach to drain any excess fluids into a bag and thus bypass the area of the GI tract where the partial obstruction is. In conjunction with this G-tube, my main source of nutrition will be a liquid called TPN or total parenteral nutrition from now on. I can take in some liquids (clear soups and broths), but this will be for comfort mostly and not for nutrition. This is really hard – I have been “mourning the loss of eating” this past week. It is not easy to change the way I eat. However, this TPN will make me stronger and more able to receive chemotherapy. The chemo hopefully will shrink the obstruction so that eventually I will be able to reverse the G-tube and go back to eating. I met with someone from nutrition the other day and she mainly gave me a long list of things I can’t take in – like fruit, veggies, cheese, pizza, etc. This is not easy. But the Lord knows and His grace is sufficient..
To infuse the TPN, I also had a double lumen PICC line put in my left arm last Tuesday. The 2nd line is a power PICC line - which allows me to have the contrast for CT scans and also will give the TPN nurse a line to draw blood. However, they are having trouble with this line (not the TPN line but the other line). Hopefully they will get this resolved today and I will be able to go home tomorrow.
In all these changes, we are continuing to set our hope on Him in Whom all things subsist, that He would be glorified both outwardly and through His transformation and building work within.

Change in plans

Hi Everyone,
Well, I went down to have the g-tube inserted and when they attempted to insert it, they found that they didn't have room in my abdomoninal cavity for the device. They fill the stomach with air and then then try to locate a place for the g-tube. However, since my small intestines kind of spill up over into the space they thought they had for the g-tube placement, they couldn't insert the tube - at least in the radiology unit. Needless to say I was disapppointed since I will have to delay the chemo a few days since I will be having surgery. But the Lord knows. I was so frustrated with all the delays and incompetencies of the teams. However, Dr. Russell will be doing the surgery tomorrow and they will be be doing one of two kinds of surgeries: one is a Percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy (PEG) - a surgical procedure for placing a tube for feeding without having to perform an open operation on the abdomen. The other is an open gastronomy procedure. They will do one of these procedures on Tuesday sometime. Please continue to pray for this procedure and for all the decisions that have to be made over the next few days. I will also be having a line put in for the nutrition as well. O Lord Jesus.

I just love this psalm - I thought I'd share it with you:

Psalm 84
1 How lovely are Your tabernacles, O Jehovah of hosts!
2 My soul longs, indeed even faints, for the courts of Jehovah;
My heart and my flesh cry out to the living God.
3 At Your two altars even the sparrow has found a home; and a swallow nest for herself,
where she may lay her young, O Jehovah of hosts, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in Your house; They will yet be praising you.
5 Blessed is the man whose strength is in You.
6 Passing through the valley of Baca, They make it a spring;
Indeed the early rain covers it with blessings.
7 They go from strength to strength; each appears before God in Zion.
8 O Jehovah God of hosts, hear my prayer; Give ear, O God of Jabob.
9 Behold our shield O God; And look upon the face of Your anointed.
10 For a day in your courts is better than a thousand; I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God Than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For Jehovah God is a sun and a shield; Jehovah gives grace and glory; He does
not withhold anything good from those who walk uprightly,
12 O Jehovah of hosts, blessed is the man who trusts in you.

There was footnote for verse 3

A home is a place of rest, and a nest is a place of refuge. Through the two altars God's redeemed can find a nest as their refuge and a home with God in rest. The cross of Christ, typified by the bronze altar, is our next our refuge, wherewe are faved from our troubles and there we lay our young - that is produce new believers through the preaching of the gospel. When we experience the resurrected Christ in His ascension, typified by the golden altar of incense, we are accepted by God in such a Christ and find a home, a place of rest, in the house of God. This house is the processed and consummated Triune God united, mingled, and incorporated with all his redeemed, regenerated, and transformed elect to be the body of Christ in the present age and the new Jerusalem as the mutual dwelling dewelling place of God and His redeemed in eternity.

I realized this week with so many visits from brothers and sisters in the Lord that as the Lord's dwelling places, they are so lovely!

Much love lovely ones!-
Joanne

Update

Hi Everyone,
It seems that things slow down on the weekend so this will be a weekend of rest - which is always a good thing. Monday I will have a pick line inserted in my arm for the TPN (total parenatal nutrition) - the total nutrition that I will be get needs a dedicated line that will only be used for that purpose hence the need for a new line. I just heard that the gastric tube - which will replace the nasal gastric tube which is inserted into my nose - will also be placed or inserted on Monday as well. Please pray for the accurate insertion of these tubes and for the directing hand of God on each of the doctors involved in the surgery.

I just have one thing to say - those wonderful words by Fanny Crosby

All the way my Savior leads me;
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav'nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate'er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well,
For I know, whate'er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.


Amen! Jesus does all things well. Thank you for praying and for standing with me during this past week and a half. I am really experiencing the reality of the body life. What a rich, rich inheritance we have in the members of the Body! Thank you all!

The surgery is out-patient and should be in the afternoon, I believe.

Much love,
Joanne

We will keep you posted.

Spirit of His Resurrection Life

This week began with some considerable discouragement. It ended in resurrection through the bountiful supply of the Spirit through the continuing prayers of His Body and the visits and care of numerous friends and brothers and sisters in the Lord.
Some evidence of Joanne’s small bowels opening began to appear on Saturday. However, the consensus of the doctors involved with Joanne’s case is moving toward a surgical intervention involving the insertion a feeding port to provide liquid nourishment and a G tube from the stomach to drain excess fluids that cannot empty out of the small bowels due to a continued partial blockage. Pray that God’s will be worked out.
This week we experienced some influence of a cloud of darkness from a spirit of death that is pressing in around us. We also realized the covering and spiritual fighting to subdue this element through the prayer of others. Pray that the Spirit of His resurrection life would reign over all thoughts and emotions and fill the atmosphere around us with His Life as we continue to exercise our faith in God and claim the fulfillment of God’s calling in Joanne for His purpose.

Our faith is in the Lord, Who is our Healer.

Our faith rests in Him above all things. We are grateful for what He will do through the doctors and our cooperation, but in reality, our confidence and faith is in Him alone. He is the Healer and has made us His new creation in Himself for His purpose.
Joanne's oncologist has encouraged her to be realistic about what is manifest at this time, but optimistic (holding on to hope and a positive outlook for each day). We are at a difficult decision point having to find a solution to the painful symptoms of a third episode of a small bowel obstruction in the last month.
There are essentially 2 roads:
1. The bowel obstruction clears up (Joanne will be on a limited regime of clear fluids for nourishment, possibly TPN) and continue with chemo.
2. A GI surgical intervention is required to remove the obstruction (open a pathway) or at a minimum install a G tube replacing the current NG tube. Once a system for delivering nutrition is established, chemo would resume.
The OB/GYN team led by Dr. Berkowitz along with Dr. Berlin (her oncologist) will respond to the GI surgeon’s team recommendations on Friday depending on the results of her current bowel rest facilitated by the NG tube.
We believe that God would grant Joanne more time and this obstruction would be cleared. Pray for this in the next two days. Pray also that all the unlawful, renigade cancerous cells would be eradicated through chemo and the Lord’s healing which we decree in the faith of the One in us.
Now is the time O Lord to glorify Your Name once again as we rest and set our hope in You and all that You have accomplished.

Update

My mom is still in the hospital with a partial bowel obstruction which is making it difficult for her to eat or drink. The CT scan on Saturday confirmed that there is a partial obstruction. She still has the NG tube to help rest her bowels. The GI doctors are considering some surgical interventions but need to coordinate with the oncologist who is dealing with the treatment of the cancer. Please pray that the doctors would be headed up in Christ and for His perfect will to be done. Also pray that my mom would be strengthened with Christ as her living hope. She has been feeling low and discouraged as the doctors have been giving her mixed messages. Her anxiety has been exacerbated by new pain medication as well. Pray she would be guarded from any attack and that her joy would be maintained.

In all likelihood she will be in the hospital through this week and possibly into next.

Thank you for your prayer and support.

Anna