Friday, July 17, 2009

Another Version of Mom's Testimony of Salvation

Here is another version of Mom's testimony of salvation that she also personally wrote:

I was raised in a Catholic family. My parents feared God and attended church regularly. They strongly believed that God existed, but did not have a personal relationship with Him. I was a seeking young person in the 1970’s and had many questions regarding the turmoil of the era. Why were my young friends going to Vietnam? Why were young people being shot and killed on college campuses? Why was there segregation? Didn’t God notice? Didn’t He care? Where was He, anyway? On a more personal level, I longed for a relationship. I wanted someone to love me unconditionally. Not too many people could offer me that kind of love.

A close friend of mine went away for the summer and came back a “Jesus person”. I didn’t really know what happened to her but she was different and she loved Jesus. I didn’t think it was strange to love Jesus. But she loved Him because she seemed to know Him. That was very intriguing. Unfortunately, she never told me how I could know Him. But her experience sparked the searching in me to know Jesus.

I went away to college and was drawn to fellowship there with a group of Christians. The people seemed friendly which was very unusual for a competitive music school. I attended one of their meetings and was horrified when I was asked to pray out loud. I stumbled over my words and uttered something like, “Oh God, I’m not worthy to pray to You. But I want to know You.” I left the meeting feeling like I was on the right track. Maybe somehow, someday, I thought, I could talk to God like those people did. He seemed to be their friend.

In the meantime, my friends from home had stopped calling me and were not very good at writing letters. I felt abandoned and discarded. I just wanted a lasting relationship with someone who would return the love I offered. I went to the cafeteria in tears and was invited to sit down at a table with two students I recognized from the Christian group. I was lonely, upset and desperate. They told me that the Lord Jesus loved me unconditionally and that I could have a relationship with him. At first, I rejected this-I had been to church, I said all the prayers and I didn’t have any kind of relationship with God. He was too far away, too distant. But they persisted and said that what I had before was an objective knowledge that God existed. They told me that if I opened up my heart and invited Jesus to come into my life, I would enter into a lasting relationship with Him. He was the friend I had been looking for. He offered the love that was unconditional. He laid down His life for me. So I prayed with them, asking Jesus to forgive my sins and to come into my heart and be my life. At that moment, I walked out of a lonely, rejection-filled life and entered into a life where I am continually being supplied by the life of God. I was filled with hope for the first time in my life. The emptiness in the core of my being was gone! And I experienced being loved unconditionally by the One who loved me and gave His life for me.

Testimony of Salvation

Here is a copy of Mom's personal testimony of salvation:

Friend.
Companion. Pal. Chum. Crony. Buddy. Soul mate. The fact that the English language has many words for this kind of human relationship seems to indicate that friendship is a prize worth winning and that one’s success is linked to the abundance of friends. As a child, I began a quest for a best friend, someone who would care about me and whom I would care for, who would be honest with me, who would journey with me through life’s adventures and, most important, would accept me for who I was. I was looking for someone who would love me just as I was. This was no small quest and I wasn’t sure I would be successful. But I knew I didn’t want to go through life alone and I figured, if the longing for a friend was there, then the person was worth searching for.

My mother said I was a friendly person. “People will like you,” she said, “because you have a nice smile and you are genuine.” At first I was optimistic, thinking that perhaps my mom was right. When I found someone who seemed interested in friendship, I gave my time, money, listening ear, and emotional support eagerly and whole-heartedly, expecting the same in return. Sadly, this was not often my experience. In fact, demands were often made of me before I would be considered a friend. Once, in order to be invited to a friend’s birthday party, I was asked to complete the birthday girl’s geography homework while the party was going on. I did it because I hoped that she would see what a good friend I could be and would be willing to become my friend. That didn’t happen, though. In fact, she didn’t even say thank you. My longing for a relationship with someone deepened as did my sadness that perhaps no one could love me in this way.

As I went through middle school, the desire for a genuine friend grew. Many so-called friends from elementary school ended our friendships because they were embarrassed to be seen with me, or because I lived in a small house with a large family or because I had curly hair. Their shallowness was heartbreaking. I couldn’t seem to find anyone who shared the same desire as I did for a genuine friend. Popularity was defined by values that held little or no importance to me. Were there others like me who had the same longing, who saw through the superficiality?

To fill up the longing in my heart, I gave myself to music.
Singing was my passion and I became quite a prominent performer in high school. I could escape from the harsh emptiness of my life into the characters I played in operas, musicals and plays. I sang at Carnegie Hall, sang leading roles in many operas and won many music awards and recognition. To my surprise, as my reputation grew, so did my group of friends. People wanted to be around someone who had the leading role in an opera. Yet, the friendships didn’t last. When the performance was over, the friendships often ended. One girl I considered a close friend, said “Why should I talk to you now? We have nothing in common anymore. The play is over and so is our relationship.” Again and again, I felt depleted, emptied of everything I had poured into people who just walked away.

Through all this searching, not once had I considered God as a friend.
I was raised in a Catholic family. My parents feared God and attended church regularly. I strongly believed that God existed, but did not have a personal relationship with Him and never thought of Him as a potential friend. God? He was too far away, too busy, too obscure to be a friend. I wondered if He could understand my struggle, if He could even remotely know about the longing that was in my heart. I never considered that the answer might be found in the One I was wondering about. The only glimpse that God was even aware of my condition came in the summer before my senior year. A girl in my neighborhood went to visit her sister and came back a changed person. She did not have the emptiness in her that I had. She seemed to be resting in the knowledge that she was loved. This really intrigued me. Could she know the answer to my searching? She and her mother invited me to their home for a Bible study. We read verses about God and my curiosity about God was stirred. While He still appeared too intangible to be realized as a friend, every time I read the Bible, I felt comforted. He definitely deserved further seeking out.

I was accepted to Eastman School of Music, majoring in Voice performance and piano.
My voice teacher was the head of the voice department. My goal was to sing with the Metropolitan Opera Company. While I pursued this goal with my whole being, I still could not escape the longing for someone to share my life with. I thought that perhaps at Eastman I would find a friend to share the same interests, aspirations and desires. However, I was not prepared for the competitive, self-centered, egotistical students I found there. After the first few weeks of shallow, useless and heartbreaking attempts at establishing friendships, I heard about a group of Christians who were meeting in my dorm. I remembered how comforted I felt when I read the Bible a few summers ago. The people seemed friendly, in the true sense of the word, which was a huge contrast to the rest of the students at this competitive music school. I attended their meeting and listened to each one of them talk to God as a friend, as One who knew them, as One who loved them. It seemed that He, if He was real, could possibly be that friend I had been searching for all my life. Maybe somehow, someday, I thought, I could talk to God like these people did. He was not remote. He was a real, present person.

Weeks passed, and friends from home did not call and were not very good at writing letters.
I felt abandoned and discarded. I just wanted a lasting relationship with someone who would return the love I offered. I called someone I cared about deeply and realized that my love was not returned. I didn’t really matter to anyone. I was insignificant. I went to the cafeteria in tears and was invited to sit down at the table with two students I recognized from the Christian group. I was lonely, upset and desperate. They told me that the Lord Jesus loved me, that I mattered very much to Him and that He was the friend I was seeking. At first, I rejected this. I had been to church, I said all the prayers and this never resulted in any kind of relationship. God was too far away, too distant. Just like all the others in my life. Why should He care about me? He was God. He was busy taking care of the universe. They persisted and said that I only knew something about God, that I didn’t really know Him. They told me that if I opened up my heart to Jesus and invited Him into my life, I would enter into an eternal relationship with Him. He offered the love that was unconditional. Even before I could do anything right or wrong, He loved me. He laid down His life for me. I was looking for a friend, and all the while He was waiting for me. I considered my options. My life had been spent in the empty pursuit of a friend that I had not been able to find. I was tired of being disappointed. These people presented to me the person I had been seeking all along. I prayed with them, asking Jesus to forgive my sins and come into my heart and be my life, my companion and my friend. At that moment, I walked out of a lonely, rejection-filled life and found the One who is the friend of sinners. I was filled with joy for the first time in my life. The emptiness in the core of my being was gone! I experienced being loved unconditionally by the One who loved me and gave His life for me. Song of Solomon 5:16 says, His mouth is sweetness itself, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. Perhaps the words of the following hymn can help you to understand the experience that was mine and can be yours:

I sighed for rest and happiness,
I yearned for them, not Thee;
But, while I passed my Savior by,
His love laid hold on me.
Now none but Christ can satisfy,
None other name for me;
There’s love and life and lasting joy,
Lord Jesus, found in Thee.


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Joanne Juraschek Memorial Gathering

You are welcome to rejoice with us on Saturday, July 18th, at 2:00 P.M. as we testify of the Lord's love and the faithful operation of His grace in Joanne's life. This gathering will take place at the meeting hall of the Church in Newton on 50 Dudley Road in Newton, MA. Please email Stephen Juraschek at spj@jhmi.edu if you need more information. Hallelujah for His resurrection life (Jn 11:25)!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

At Home with the Lord

This afternoon, Joanne went peacefully to be with the Lord. She is abroad from her physical body and at home with the Lord Jesus (2 Cor. 5:8). Further information will be provided later. We appreciate the prayer and many forms of support these past two years.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Update, Guidelines, etc.

Thank you all for the prayer, meals, visits, and continued support during the past few weeks. The immediate family has all arrived home. Joanne is receiving care for the pain she is experiencing and is working with nurses and health care providers to maintain a stable comfort level. Because of the strain of the pain management, Joanne’s energy level has been low and she continues to be in need of much rest. As a result, in order to allow her ample opportunity to rest, we will need to limit visitation significantly. However, because we know many of you would like to see or speak to Joanne in some way, we have made the following arrangements for visitation. Thank you for working together with us to ensure Joanne gets the rest she needs.

  • If you would like to schedule a visit with Joanne, please call the home phone number (781) 329-5227. Please ask to speak to Paul, Anna, or Andrew. If you get the voicemail message, please leave a message in maibox #2, titled “Joanne Juraschek Visitation,” with your name and phone number. You can also send an email to juraschekcare@gmail.com. We will try to find a time as Joanne’s capacity permits. Please know that we will do our best to return your phone call or email as soon as is practical.
  • When visiting, please continue to keep the visits short (15 minutes maximum) and to come with an encouraging spirit.
  • Also, while Joanne may not be able to see visitors in person, she may be able to speak with you on the phone for a “phone-visit” of sorts. When discussing a time for visitation, this may be a suggested or preferred mode of contact with Joanne. You may also write a note or memory in the online guestbook at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jjuraschek/guestbook. You can also send messages for Joanne and the family to juraschekcare@gmail.com.

Also, in terms of practical support, if you would like to provide a meal, please continue to call Lindy Bernier at (617) 332-6221, and, if you would like to assist with general household needs, please contact Bob Rosser at (617) 875-7478.

Joanne has enjoyed spending time at home with the family. We have shared many sweet moments together including singing hymns and even going to the ocean last Saturday. The Lord has been a constant source of supply, continuing "to do superabundantly above all that we ask or think" (Eph 3:20).

Thank you all, again, for your prayers and various forms of support. Please continue to pray for the working out of God’s perfect will.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Steps Going Forward

Along with an update on Joanne's current status, here are some general guidelines and information regarding visitation and opportunities to participate in helping the family.

Joanne has been very tired since she came home last week and has been focusing on getting rest. She has been working with the visiting nurse to manage back pain and nausea, while trying to keep her g-tube draining adequately. She has been adjusting to life at home and we all are glad to have her close-by. She enjoys hearing the sounds of the family and has been encouraged through the visits of many friends and fellow believers.

We know that many of you are eager to come to see Joanne or communicate with her in some way. Since it is important that Joanne gets plenty of rest each day, we have tentatively set aside a time between late morning and early afternoon for planned visits. If you would like to visit her, please call Lindy Bernier at 617-332-6221 to set up a time. When coming to be with Joanne, please understand that she may not be able to see you despite your scheduled visit. Also, do your best to keep the visits short and positive—she greatly appreciates your visits and can thoroughly benefit from them if they leave her energized and encouraged. Be sure to come in the Spirit and if possible bring a portion of the Word or a hymn to share with her. 

Also, if you would like to send your greetings or offer your love in some way, please consider sending a card or leaving a note at the online guestbook we have set up at: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jjuraschek/guestbook. She is often unable to take phone calls, but we will be certain to pass on your correspondence from these channels to her.

We would like to thank all of you for your caring support of our family during this challenging time. We have certainly sensed the supply of the Body and are grateful to each of you for your prayer and assistance. If you are interested in continuing to help in some capacity, please contact the following saints according to the area of need:

  • If you are interested in providing a meal for the family, please contact Lindy Bernier at 617-332-6221.
  • If you are interested in assisting in caring for Muriel Kowalski, Joanne's mother, please contact Christine Padgett at 339-225-5589.
  • If you are interested in helping the family with practical needs and home maintenance, please contact Bob Rosser at 617-875-7478.

Finally, in lieu of phone calls, if you would like to receive periodic updates on Joanne's status, please send your email address to juraschekupdate@gmail.com. This blog (variedgrace.blogspot.com) will continue to be used primarily for general information and Joanne's personal messages, as she is able to write them.

The Lord is continuing to perfect His grace in our weakness as we abide under the canopy of His love expressed through all the members of His Body. We are resting in the confidence that He remains on the throne in the power of His resurrection life with authority over all things.

Thank you again for all your prayers and support.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Seasons

Hi Everyone,
I returned home on Thursday May 27th at around 3:00 pm. We found an agency that will help with home care called Seasons - which reminds me of Ecclesiasties 3:1-8:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to seek, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to throw away; A time to tear, and a time to sew; A time to be silent, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; A time for war, and a time for peace.

We reached this decision after reviewing the results of a CT scan, which showed that the chemotherapy had not been effective in stopping the cancer since April. The cancer had increased. So we decided to stop treatment that was not helping anyway. I am so glad to be home with my family. Who knows what the Lord will do? We are looking forward to enjoying Him and sharing in His marvelous plan. I am resting these days and hoping to get my g-tube working well so that I will stop vomiting. God is so faithful. I have been enjoying a song which you might also enjoy. I heard it on a cd from the Church in New York Young People. Here is a link to the music: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php?t=ns&n=287&f=mp3

Here are the words to the hymn:

There are times in my life
When my heart is embittered.
There are questions unanswered,
Yet, You're drawing me

To enter
Into Your blessed sanctuary
And turning my eyes heavenward,
The questions of constant inquiry
Are changed to these words,

"Whom do I have in heaven
But You, dear Jehovah.
My flesh and my heart
Constantly fail,

But God's still
The strength of my heart and my portion;
To Him forever I'll draw near.
I've made Jehovah my sweet refuge.
So now throughout the years

Turn my view to see You,
How I need to see Jesus!!
Though I don't understand
The ways that You take;

Lord, make me
A babe and suckling always praising.
Enjoying Your worth day by day.
Let each experience constitute me
So Your life I'll display
In every way.

O Lord, Turn our view to see You!
Much love,
Joanne

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Exercising Faith

The GI doctors determined that the G-tube is functioning adequately to remove fluids that build up from continuous secretions within the bowels but may need occasional flushing and the help of various positions and walking to work effectively with gravity.
A Cat Scan with contrast on Saturday, May 23 revealed an additional partial obstruction in the middle of the small intestines in addition to the full obstruction at the end of the small intestines and partial blockage at the location of the duodenal stents at the beginning of the small intestines.
After more than six months of non-stop chemotherapy and the debilitating side-effects, the oncologist feels to suspend further chemo treatment at this time due to resistance to the chemo drugs and shift focus to quality of life, allowing Joanne to spend more time at home with the family.
We continue to be drawn to exercise increased faith in the One who proclaimed “I am the Resurrection and the Life”, Who has authority over all things, while presenting to Him our hands open for His perfect will. This is a time for His glory to be manifested. After man has reached the limit of what he can do, God will reveal what He can and chooses to do. Our “earnest expectation and hope is that … even now Christ will be magnified in Joanne’s body, whether though life or through death.” Phil 2:20 We are expecting to see His glory whether through miraculous healing or in living a life one spirit with Him, moving in harmony with His will and expressing the abundant riches of His grace for His purpose.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Current Status

Hi Everyone,

We wanted to bring everyone up to speed on my mom's situation. On May 15th, she went in to have a follow-up chemo appointment, but her red blood cell count was considered below the threshold and they did not proceed with the infusion. The following day, Saturday, she received a blood transfusion and a shot of Octeotride to reduce secretion of digestive juices. Then, beginning Sunday she began to experience severe back pain and nausea. On Wednesday, May 20th, of this week, she was admitted to Brigham & Women's Hospital and the GI doctors are assessing the functionality of the G-tube. They are continuing to look for causes of the back pain and the build up of fluids. Mom is beginning to be more conversational as pain medication enables her to get sufficient sleep.

Please pray for a clear diagnosis and the formulation of an effective treatment plan to provide adequate drainage of excess fluids in her system.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Update

Hello everyone,
Thought I'd update you today since I am feeling a bit better. I am just recovering from a horrendous rash that developed the day I came home from the hospital. Turns out I am allergic to the lipids part of the TPN - so the TPN was modified to exclude essential fats and the race has just about cleared up. I am having some blood sugar issues with the TPN too that are being worked on - it is amazing how our bodies were designed to work so precisely - when we try to replicate some function artificially, it is not easy to get everything to work well together. I had chemo last Friday and took about 4 days to recover from it - the side effects were mainly fatigue and also aches, pains and fever. I will see Dr. Berlin on Friday and will have blood tests to see how low my blood counts are - if too low, then no chemo. I'll keep you posted as I feel better. I am missing food a lot - getting nutrition through the TPN is efficient but not enjoyable. I really miss chewing - and miss sandwiches and other yummy things. I need to keep eating that food that Jesus talked about to His disciples - food that they didn't know about... This kind of eating will help me with the diet change. Like the children of Israel. They needed to eat the manna to help them change their diet. The manna experience is very similar to mine. Those children of Israel had been enjoying a rich diet in Egypt and then they were asked to eat this wafer. It must have been quite difficult for them to enjoy it very much. Yet it was their nutrition while in the wilderness. It helped wean them from the leeks and garlic of Egypt. That manna is just a type of Christ - He is the living bread that came down out of heaven from God. John 6 has many wonderful verses about the Lord as the living bread, the bread of life. We just need to eat Him! He told us that if we eat Him, we will live by Him. John 6:57 says: As the living Father has sent Me and I live because of the Father, so he who eats Me, he also shall live because of Me. Eating God is a really foreign concept - mostly we think about honoring God, worshipping God - but what about eating God? I realize that if I eat Him, I will be strengthened during the day to live by Him - and live in another realm, on another plain - by another life.

Here's a hymn to the tune of Amazing Grace:

1 The tree of life, how sweet the fruit,
With God as life complete.
I once was dead, but now I live,
Was starved, but now I eat.

2 'Twas God that brought me to the tree,
With Christ Himself as meat;
How precious did that tree become
When I began to eat.

3 The Lord Himself is food to me,
He is my life supply;
He will my pure enjoyment be,
None else can satisfy.

4 I freely eat this living tree,
For eating is the way
To put God's life inside of me,
To live by Him today.

My mom is visiting with my brother Vincent in Texas and having a wonderful time, according to him.

I went for a walk today - there was a lull in the rain - everything was so beautiful.

Please continue to pray as the Lord leads - I appreciate this so much.

Much love,
Joanne